Mandy Heliotis and Sophia Schmidt… NOW WHAT?!
Here are this week’s important housekeeping issues….
*Last night we had yet another ButterflyMoms Manifestation Class. We fed a lot of souls. 🙂 Because it feels so good we’re having another one. We’re meeting next Thursday, June 23th, 8pm at 783 Washington St, Holliston. Easy to get to on Rt 16 & FREE parking in back. Only $25 at the door (still let me know you’re coming because space is limited) or just $20 if you drop off a check or pay through Paypal… http://bit.ly/mS7c70 . It’s a simple first step to get back to the happy you…so grab on to it! 🙂
*My computer and website stuff was put on hold due to our Mandy’s passing. My intention is to address it this week so I will be better at answering your emails. 😉 For right now it is what it is. ;)…My gentle reminder again to SURRENDER! continues 😉
*We sold zero MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE books last week. If it has been your intention to buy a book please do so this week by clicking here… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U. A list of where in the world books have been bought by other ButterflyMoms is at the end of this blog. It’s a pretty spectacular list of places. When you buy a book yours is added too!
All the initial “funeral” attention is over. Although it has only been a little over a week I have found that this is one of the hardest phases of mourning. My world has totally shifted again HOWEVER most everyone else is still living their lives like before. They have moved on. They have enough OTHER THINGS in their life to “forget”, those closest to Mandy don’t have that luxury. Wherever we go we see her face. At random moments we remember her smell. We feel her around us but oftentimes feel helpless to connect. How do you communicate with someone who no longer has form?
I am in my second year of school for this at the Rhys Thomas Energy Medicine School. I am much better than I used to be at connecting to things that have no form but still realize how very, very little I actually know. For me, specifically, I have a double dose of AWARENESS right now because in just a few days, on June 22, it will be our Sophia’s 5th Anniversary of her passing. It sounds cliché but I KNOW they are together. I mean I know that Sophia helped Mandy with her transition. As I write this there is a part of me that is FLASHING a big red WARNING light saying, “Don’t talk about this! What are people going to think.” Well, in my experience with everything I have studied and gone through, for me this is all true. I think the more people know about this the more we can get on with the business of enjoying the precious little time we have here in this lifetime…so I continue…
When we first got the call last week it was to say that Mandy had been hurt in a car accident and that it was dire. At that point she was already dead but we did not know that. I immediately sat on my couch and attempted to “tune in” to Mandy’s energy field. We do this in class for practice but this was the real deal. I desperately wanted information. In class I find myself blocking and even belittling my abilities because I see how much better others are at it than I am. (Sidenote: Oftentimes we are our own worst enemies. We are our own BULLIES stomping any possibility of success. Notice when your BULLY comes out and how it affects your life.)
When I tuned in I got that there was something wrong with her wrists. I got that she was surrounded by lots of angels with lots of blue in the background like the magical ceiling at Notre Dame Basilica in Montreal. I got that she could not breathe. I was so IN THE MOMENT that I asked Sophia to go to her and see if she could see anything.
It felt like Sophia had been with me all along – I just had not really noticed but when I brought awareness to it she was right there. Instantly I saw Sophia was in the scene “sitting” IN Mandy’s lap. Sophia kept evaporating or turning into something other than form. I could tell she was trying to hang on but there was nothing to hang out to. There was no emotion with this just information. It was all very matter-of-fact. That is all I got. I went back to Doug who was at the kitchen table desperately trying to call someone – anyone – to get more information about our beloved Mandy. I described what I saw and said, “I got nothing.”
It was only later that I found out that Mandy had broken both wrists in the crash and she died pretty instantly. We think she broke her neck which would have caused her to stop breathing. Mandy was already dead by the time I tried to connect with her so the message I got was there was nothing there was accurate. The fact that in my moment of grief that I reached out to Sophia and got such a simple, yet powerful, message, gives me much solace.
This has been a very rough week but also a very POWERFUL one. I want to take from Mandy’s death not the cliché reminder TO ENJOY each moment we are given. We have heard that so many times that maybe we will do that for a few minutes/hours /days but after a while we DEFAULT to the “BUSY”. We don’t like to stay in the uncomfortable. We like to FILL in the gaps of silence with STUFF, THINGS, GADGETS, CALLS, TELEVISION, BUSY WORK, IPADS, IPODS, etc., so we don’t have to be. These pretty shiny things are wonderful in moderation but we have let them FILL OUR EXISTENCE. We don’t know where they begin and we end.
The gifts that Mandy has brought me this week are many. I got to CONNECT with her friends and even members from my family that I did not bother to connect with on a deep basis because life was just too busy. Well, DEATH blows the lid off of BUSY!!!!!
I got to meet and savor some of her beloved friends including James, Danny and Billie. I got to connect with my other niece, beautiful Nicole, and nephew, beautiful Daniel who are much younger and who were in that cloud of grief that many adults don’t understand. It is a hard place for kids to be. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m a bit of an “expert” on kids and grief so I let my instinct take over. I showed them that I REALLY saw them through a few things we did together. I could see the difference it made for them and it surprisingly made a HUGE difference for me! WHAT A GIFT!!! Now we have pledged to write letters to each other for a whole year. No emails or boxes, just a simple letter written between us. Mialotta and I have already sent the first one. It contained in the letter fun math problems (because Daniel is working on his math skills), stickers and some of the funnier Sunday comics…funny I had not read the Sunday comics in years…I used to LOVE it!!! Yes, another simple gift…AND there were many other gifts…
I got to see my own daughter process some of her grief from her baby sister’s death and that of her beloved artistic cousin. “Whose going to give me hugs and kisses like Mandy does?,” she said sobbing. I got the gift of meeting Mandy’s beloved high school art teacher who is starting a scholarship in Mandy’s memory. 🙂 Mandy would have LOVED that!!! You could easy tell she loved Mandy very much! Amy spoke about how Mandy loved her art and often came back to mentor other kids. I invited Amy to read ButterflyMoms this week. I hope she is reading it right now! 😉
I got the gift of connection with a long-time friend of the family Stan from Manhattan who is a dearheart and whom I’ve gotten to know over the years through FB. I got to connect with some of the family’s old friends/neighbors especially Tonya and Lou who taught me the gift of being present with someone’s grief, with just showing up and holding the space for a bereaved mother to simply cry her heart out for the child she will never again hold. I got the gift of deeply connecting with my brothers-in-law, a studly group of gentlemen with hearts the size of the Empire State Building. I got the gift of connecting to Valerie, Carrie and Evelyn who showed what true friendship and support is all about. I got the gift of connecting with my Sophia on a whole new level that I will continue to explore. There are many, many, many other gifts that I received and even more that I will receive from our beautiful Mandy.
I cannot change her death but I can live my life in a way that honors what she stood for, all that courage to be authentic, all that passion, all that love, all that vision, all that creativity, all that connection, all that presence. I can increase my AWARENESS of when she is around and how she still influences the world through the magnificence that we call MANDY!
I invite you to live your life in the present moment and see all the wonderful gifts around you!!! BREATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 🙂 FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL! LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOVE!!!!
Great big hugs,
San Bruno 1
North Easton 1
South Grafton 1
Lee’s Summit 1
Stony Brook 1
Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2
Wien, Austria 2
Dublin, Ireland 1
Rome, Italy 3
Santa Maria (Azores/Açores) 1
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