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HOW I GOT THE COURAGE TO CREATE BUTTERFLYMOMS?

I thought long and hard before I decided to write today’s blog, but so many ButterflyMoms have been asking me how I unlocked myself that I could not just ignore their requests for sharing what worked for me. I tried so many things over the years because I felt like my life was racing by and I was just paying bills but not REALLY living my life. Most everything I found was just a BAND-AID solution. I’m talking at least 20 years of searching here! Finally last year one of my good friends invited me to an open house at the Rhys Thomas Institute of Energy Medicine. I was skeptical, especially of the name. Energy school? What the hell is that?! Because of who asked me I agreed to go and it has opened up my life! I have found myself, the real me. When I write now you can see that, that is who is coming out. In my class is there are people from five different States! Doctors, attorneys, moms, dads, mechanics, authors, teachers, massage therapists…it is a mishmash of humanity coming together to learn! Below is the information for tomorrow’s (Tuesday’s June 15th’s) Open House. They will have another in August if you can’t make this one! If you have questions feel free to contact me directly. I highly, highly, highly recommend this program because I see how much happiness it brings people when they find themselves! YAY!!!!!!!! :)!!!! I can promise you one thing….You will only regret NOT going! 🙂

Rhys Thomas Institute of Energy Medicine Open House

Date: Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Time: 7:00pm – 9:00pm
Location: Solstice Healing Arts Center, 163 Main St, Suite 6, Medway, MA
   

Description:  Experience what it is really like in the program! We welcome you to join us at an open house and experience exactly what it will be like as a student in the school. Whether you are serious or just curious about enrolling in this life changing program, the open house will answer all your questions. Led by the founder and director, Rhys Thomas himself, and his head teacher Lisa Campion, you will walk through a mini version of a day in the school, experiencing each aspect of the program.You will also have an opportunity to hear from current students and graduates about their experiences and breakthroughs.If the idea of taking a huge step forward in personal development AND becoming a Full Spectrum Energy Medicine Practitioner is calling you, you owe it to yourself to take the next step in finding out more! http://www.rhysmethod.com/

PS Tell them Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sent you! 🙂 Have fun exploring the world!

Y O U are SAFE!

Our beautiful little butterfly Sophia on her first birthday 🙂 She is the inspiration for BUTTEFLYMOMS!

Today’s soul lesson is about paying attention to that thing that keeps coming up for you even though it feels ICKY, or, even though your mind is bringing in a chorus of naysayers. ALWAYS go with your gut. Part of this journey is starting to distinguish the voice of fear/mind vs the voice of wisdom/instinct. The more PRESENT you are the more WHOLE you will feel. Today’s lesson is a challenging one for me, personally, but it’s coming up as a topic today and if I’m talking the talk, baby, then I have to walk the walk…..because I know wonderful adventures await when we let go and observe! I trust you beautiful ButterflyMoms enough to write the following with an open heart….

“YOU ARE SAFE” – The first time I ever remember hearing those words was the first day of preschool for my then 2 year old Mialotta. I quietly burst into blinding tears. SAFETY. Wow, what a concept! Seeking SAFETY had been my holy grail quest. I had been looking for it, for a place to belong, where I could just “be” my whole life. I was petrified of not being SAFE. Now, as a mother, my SAFETY FEAR PARADIGM had shifted to also include my children’s safety. A few months earlier with the sudden death of my 13 month old baby daughter, Sophia, I was on HIGH, HIGH, HIGH ALERT. What I “believed” was being completely challenged. Growth sometimes feels like pain because it can be scary. To move through it bring in your breath. It is one of your biggest built-in assets!!!

Sophia and Mialotta were only 14 months apart. Mialotta ADORED her little sister. It was wonderful to watch! The day Sophia stopped breathing the blur of events started… all the screaming, trying to give CPR, frantic calling 911, the shrieking ambulances on our lawn, the burly paramedics. It was such a violent, scary scene for me! I cannot imagine what it was like for my twenty-seven month old,  sweet little “innocent” Mialotta!!!!  One of the hardest things about Sophia’s death was TRYING TO EXPLAIN to my 2 year old why her little sister was physically gone and would not be coming back. In her mind, I had left with Sophia with those BIG men.  Mialotta’s world, as much as I wanted to protect her from something so hard to bear, was forever changed.  She tried to make sense of it with a stream of  questions – “But why did you let those big men take her?” “But if she’s at the hospital why don’t you go get her?”, “Where is Sophia?”, “When is she coming back?”…. The next day she asked me, “Mama, when are the big men coming to take me next?” (breathe……….whew………ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… stay with it).  Those words took my breath and crushed my heart. This little, little baby was now unsure of her own SAFETY because even at two your heart can be broken.

Little Mialotta at 2

It had only been a few months since our baby Sophia died and we were walking around in a deep fog. A WONDERFUL woman from our church, Ellen Kerstein, kept showing up, gently asking us about Mialotta’s going to her preschool. Ellen is an expert at helping children thrive. She has been doing it for decades and she is absolutely fabulous at it! Mentally, we were in a place where decisions were hard to make because they had consequences. Ellen kept asking. She kept showing up. We mindlessly agreed. When we walked in the first day of school and the beautiful Ellen bent down to Mialotta and said, “YOU ARE SAFE,” it blew my mind!

I had not realized I was worried about it because I was sooooooooooooo IN THE FEAR of not being safe. I could see Mialotta immediately relax. This whole scene was a DIRECT MESSAGE RECEIVED from the universe. I GOT that I AM SAFE, that WHAT/WHO YOU need shows up WHEN YOU NEED IT! Our job is not to JUDGE, just take it in. I got that, lessons even when they are crazy hard, help us grow. Someone once said to me that hearts can only grow after they break…….I am starting to FEEL that is true!

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

ANOTHER RECORD BROKEN for BUTTERFLYMOMS SITE!!!

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! We hit another record yesterday! 88 ButterflyMoms flew in yesterday for their daily hit of inspiration our highest ever!!! My goal is to be the fire that ignites people’s souls that is what I was put on this planet to do and it FEELS AMAZING to be able to serve in this manner!

THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO SHARE MY GIFT! May coming here also unleash your passions!

LOVE…and GREAT BIG HUGS!
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
🙂
ButterflyMoms Founder
Mommy of Christopher, Mialotta, Olivia, Isabella and Angel Sophia 🙂

DROWNING MOMMIES and YOUR DAILY MINI-RETREAT HAPPY PLACE

Each Moment Has Both Humor And Reprimand Wrapped In It - You Get to Choose! Those choices over time create your life.

It is an silent epidemic! Mothers all over world, especially in industrialized countries like ours, are DROWNING!! Take that in for a moment. Think about what drowning is. Take a deep breath and really be present in this because there is a huge lesson here for you. Drowning is the act of sooooooooooooooooooo much coming in that you cannot even take a simple breath to stabilize yourself. Well, if you are just trying to live your life YOU are most likely drowning.  Why? Because if you don’t give yourself a message you automatically default into the program that is around you which means you will start living life the way most people do. That brings to mind the Beatles’ words, ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM! We as moms in this day and age are supposed to do it all. Cram more in! “You’re not trying hard enough!” “Don’t you love your children?”  “Who needs sleep anyways”, you joke to your friends but inside your body is first whispering, then screaming, I DO!!!!!!!!! This was the case for the generation before BUT many key factors were different. Technology, mass production and improved systems of transportation have all greatly shifted the bar of expectation. This gives us fodder for many comical incidents! I hope you can laugh at yourself, which is ABSOLUTELY VITAL unless you plan on going insane!  Go ahead and laugh at how funny the universe is it will help you breath better and catch the lessons that are around us every second of every day guiding us to the land of being joyous with our journey! I call that our JOYOUS JOURNEY, might have some “bumps” along the way but I’m just happy to be playing!

Here is an example that your moms never had to deal with….If you have younger children and you want to (need to) go run an errand (or 50 errands) you have more seat belts buckles to click than a flight attendant on a 747!!! I counted one time that I had 17 clicks before we could leave because once they were all in the car one of them needed to go to the bathroom. Everybody out. Everyone back in (again!;)) An hour later we are on the road….but now later than before. Sound familiar to anyone? (Take a deep breath here 🙂 – I had to so you might need to too!)

So I invite you to come here as many or as few times that your heart wishes. Know that if you feel stuck in your life the support system we are building here will support you and if someone has an issue by showing up you might be able to help them unlock something for them. That is how the universe works! It’s a VERY cool place and we are all card-carrying members! Don’t let your membership go to waste!!!! As one of my favorite mentors Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “Cemetaries are filled with people with their music still in them.” SING MY BUTTERFLYMOMS, SING!!! If you have found this wonderful little blog that is not advertised anywhere that means you are on your path. You have asked for a change in whatever way works for you and this site is part of your answer. Come share, ask, learn, play, hear, love and giggle here!!! It’s fun and honey it’s free!!! 🙂

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS I am in awe of how this dream of mine has unfolded. I started writing EVERY morning for at least 15 minute because a “Wishcraft” group (based on the work of Barbara Sher with the same name) I’m in, asked me to. I LOVE my assignment because writing is one of the ways I get to be totally me. Being a mom of five does not really call for a lot of writing in general. Well in the first six days of writing every day I got just over 100 people coming to the site. The 7th day alone I got 70 and the 8th day (which was yesterday) I got 80!!!! This might seem small to you but this is my heart’s calling and in that moment of deep gratitude all I could do is cry for joy and awe. I thank you for showing up here and ask you to share this site with your friends and with yourself often! LOVE YOU!

BUTTERFLYMOMS Question Answered…FIRST ONE! YAY!

HOW DO I FIT IN THE WORLD?

I’m trying out new FEATURES (which means new ways of getting you the answers you want in ways that are fun and mentally edible 😉 Feel free to send me your questions and each (or so) I will answer them. Just keep in mind that if you are going through it so is a quarter of the planet of women so ask. You can’t beat the price! 😉

So our very first question comes from a fabulous Mama who lives in New England. She recently lost her Mama which creates a whole shift in our reality and safety in the world as a mother. Our full LOVE goes out to both of them! Here is her question…”Safety.  As an adult I feel safe in my skin & my ability to take care of myself.  I do, however, have this child inside me who was not always safe and created this hard shell as a way to cope.  Unbeknownst to me the shell suppressed my ability to take chances, to trust myself and my judgment and to act upon the brilliance others see in me.  Now, however, I’m no longer in need of this hard shell once created to protect myself.  Unfortunately, it’s become instinctual and unlearning or bringing to consciousness this type of coping after 30 + years of “practice” is at the very least challenging.  I no longer feel scared or threatened, but somehow blocked.  How does a person reprogram?”

 First, Corinne, thank you for being the first ButterflyMom to ask a question!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! Now onto a brilliant response ;)…This is something that a lot of us who reach “middle age” grapple with. (I know that term “middle age” is about as appealing as getting your first AARP membership request in the mail!!! :)!) When we are born our souls come into a world knowing who we are because we simply are, with no labels, mindless, free! When we enter our game world (we all call Planet Earth) we are immediately stamped with a name, that almost never reflects who we really are. We are then taught to conform to the rules of whatever family we have entered, most of the time it is into worlds that believe that children should be seen but not heard. Almost every child is then MOLDED into their family’s (tribe’s) beliefs regardless if they are in alignment with whom the child is. We get punished (mentally, physically and emotionally) for not following the rules of the family. Think about how DANGEROUS it is that the people who are supposed to LOVE you the most will to these things to you if you don’t conform. We are small and vulnerable and we do what we need to do to survive which, by default, means we abandon our REAL SELF. (take a deep breath here – maybe seven!)  What happens is that as a coping mechanism we start bonding with items, places and things so that we feel a connection to something that is as strong as the connection we lost, the connection with ourselves. Throughout history people have called this the search for the Holy Grail which is traveling the entire world looking for something that is inside of us all along.

This might be hard for some to hear but an example of this bonding to things to replace the lost self can be most often seen when children have an attachment to a particular stuffed animal or blanket and FREAK OUT when they think it’s lost or someone has taken it from them. If we were to think about it, that kind of ATTACHMENT with an object has to come from somewhere. The stuffed animal is just a stuffed animal but to the child he/she identifies it as a part of themselves (MY teddy bear). Again, this is SUCH a common scenario in our society that most don’t even notice it. This carries on into adulthood when we work at jobs that don’t fulfill us so that we can get MORE STUFF to fill the whole. In the eighties and ninties (back in the 1900’s!!! ;)) especially there was a trend to link women with shopping. It was common to see bumper stickers with something like, SHOP ‘TIL YOU DROP and store would have signs that said YOUR HUSBAND CALLED AND SAID YOU CAN BUY ANYTHING YOU WANT. Most of us reading this probably remember that era. It was all about mindless buying that caused most of us to have CRAZY amounts of clothes, shoes, acessories…etc!!!! Now there are shows on TV, one is called, HOARDERS that show this in an extreme manner. The bottom line was that we were all trying to fill that empty feeling inside ourselves.

Because we have arrived at a point in our human history where we can produce goods more cheaply and ship it faster our “trying to fill in the empty hole inside ourselves” has definitely hit an all-time high but the act of losing oneself in childhood a human rite of passage for millions of years. Not many people question it because it has been people’s “normal”.  Thankfully we are in a point in human/spiritual evolution where we are not willing to accept a half-lived or false life. It’s not something you can FAKE. You can try but your life will never feel right, so, many try to stop feeling all together with the help of binging, drinking, cheating, drugging, eating, etc., etc., etc., all because they have associated feeling with pain instead of seeing it as a useful tool. (who’s with me on this!)

What you are experiencing Corinne is what many people come to realize when they hit the part of their life where they have done what society tells us to do (degree, house, mate, job/career, kids) and we still do not feel whole. We don’t feel whole because we left ourselves out of the equation. The good news is that the journey you took to find yourself (when you were right there under your own nose 😉 gave you TONS of amazing life experience that you can use. The universe has a sense of humor. 😉 YOUR FEELINGS ARE GOOD let them flow BABY(did you get that pun?)!!!! Killing your feelings is like killing the messenger. You can do it but THE MESSAGE/INFORMATION they were trying to give you is still there!

WHAT NOW? Come back to tomorrow’s blog and find out! 🙂

As always if you have enjoyed reading this share it with your friends. There are a lot of drowning ButterflyMoms out there who just need a little information so they can re-set their course to happiness. 🙂

LOVE YOU!

GREAT BIG HUGS,

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Mommy Melt-Down At The Grocery Store…

“No Mama. I’m the Mama and you’re the baby,” my 2 year old proudly announced.

Ahhhhhhhh, here’s your life check in. How’s it going? Is it how you imagined it was going to go? 😉  This is the $10 trillion question (it used to be $10 million but I figure with inflation and all 😉 ).

How are you today? How are you feeling? This week, after meeting with my wishcraft group I have completed my commitment of writing for at least 15 minutes every day. It has felt glorious!!! I do have a lot on my plate with a real estate business (I’m the broker), a dry cleaning business I run with my husband, four kids (from 2 – 14) and all that entails ( I KNOW for most Moms I don’t have to describe what that means! ;)) My aunt is also visiting from London right now and so I’ve been trying to be the hostess with the mostest. It’s definitely a full platter so even though I’ve been writing about heart stuff I have “fallen off the wagon” as it were in terms of taking care of myself. I don’t know if it’s like this for you but I’m the low hanging fruit when it comes to cutting out when there is simply too much to do. When I run out of time I simply “make” more time by cutting out sleep. This week I returned to that scenario. It was not that getting up early was the problem, it was that I had my aunt and mom sleeping over here for the past week (and then my brother who came for a couple of days to say good-bye before he goes to Iraq) so it has been challenging to go to bed early knowing that these are SUCH precious memories that I don’t want to sleep through! I sacrificed sleep this week.
Ok, so I got great photos of the events (because things don’t really happen unless you take a photo of it don’t cha know! 😉 ) but THE CRASH came yesterday when I completely lost it at the grocery store. Yes, I was that woman that you tisk, tisk at because she is screaming at her kids. And the universe in its never-ending humor-seeking mode contributed to the parody by having bags rip and fruit rolling down the aisle and machines getting stuck and make EVERY bagger disappear! It really was a missed filming opportunity for a whole segment of America’s Funniest Videos.
I share this as a gentle reminder that we are all human. We all have different capacities but the society we live in, in 2010, we are expected to do more, remember more, recall more than even our mothers did when they were our age. Before the invention of the car most people only ever even travelled 20 miles from their original place of birth. After the car was invented it went to 100 miles. The pace of the world has GREATLY increased. We have more numbers and passwords and codes than ever before. We see more people in one day than our great grandmothers met in their whole lifetime so be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself. When something ICKY happens ask what you have to learn from it. It will either be a blessing in disguise or if you play the incident again and again in your head it will be another weight that will sink your soul. The good news is that YOU get to choose and this powerful ButterflyMoms blog just helped gentle remind you that you do have that choice.
Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
🙂 
Let’s see what you ButterflyMoms are doing out there. Take a moment to be heard…
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Are You Blowing Off The Answers To Your “Prayers”?

Yesterday we ended with the question, “Do you trust the universe?” If the word universe is not your think you can substitute it for what fits for you (just like in life, it’s really all about what feels right to you – remember that because it is a key element to leading an aligned life.)

Well, do you? Do you trust the universe? Do you trust that if you jump a net will be there for you? I must admit that I’m still learning this one myself. This concept of SAFETY is something that is made up in the mind. We are ALWAYS SAFE, even if we were to die today, we are always safe. Take a moment, right now, to think how would you live your life knowing that you are always safe. Feel it. What would it look like? What would it sound like? How would you think? How would you be in the world? Close your eyes for a moment and just be in that place. Take in the information you get. Accept how good it feels. If it does not feel good there is a good chance you are blocking the exercise so there is a possibility that you feeling so unsafe that you cannot even do a pretend exercise. REALLY KNOW that you are safe. This is fun so go back and play with it again. This is when you would do well to remember the little kid inside of you! What a gift it is! Access that gift now.

Regardless of what you are inundated with by marketers and advertisers YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU are at the perfect place for what you need to learn right now. Whatever you need will appear even when it’s icky. (good news/bad news 😉 ) Whenever you run into someone who you react to strongly (especially in judgement) that is a message straight from the universe just for you. It is telling you that you are doing the same thing to yourself, judging, in some way that does not serve you.

CONNECT with Your JOY!

Today when you feel the Land of Should creeping in kindly show it the door. Pay attention to what you are feeling that very moment. It is your guidance system. By focusing on that you will get closer to your soul’s purpose which is joy. The alternative is to live in the Land of Should. Each moment we make that choice and those choices form the life we live. Are you happy with your life’s choices?

THE UGLY SIDE OF MOMMYGROUPS – Fitting In…Or Not

Find Happiness Tucked Between the Moments

Fitting in is one of the key factors as we are growing up. Being a mom puts a whole new dynamic on the term because we have other souls in the mix to protect and teach. I have recently experienced the “icky” feeling of being rejected from a group of mommies. It can send you right back to feeling like you are not “enough”just like you did when you were in junior high or high school. (breathe) :)! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

In a moment’s notice how you feel about the whole day can go south, very south and your mind starts trying to protect you by “figuring out” what is wrong with them or how you can avoid being hurt again.  This is a pattern many of us are familiar with because that is all we knew. Here is another pattern I recently read for my coursework that has helped me. It comes from the book “Anatomy of the Spirirt” by the wonderful Caroline Myss. You attract what you need to into your life depending on what you are sending out. She gives the example that was very similar to mine and says that if you get forced out of a job or group it is because it’s in your highest good to move on, partner!  We, as human beings don’t like change and we tend to “cling” a bit longer than necessary to situations that no longer serve us. It is NOT about the group of people liking or not liking or us being enough or not being enough. It is about energy and it’s time to move on. Think about how much energy you have put (can we say “wasted”) over the years “thinking” about why those people rejected you. It is like burning your energy dollars for the day, every day.

Today, make a fresh start! Part of why Mamas are so tired is that we give our energy to places that don’t reciprocate the energy back. It’s time to call back your energy! It’s done in simple ways that will have you feeling more grounded and happy. Tomorrow we will talk about how to do that…

Great big hugs ButterflyMoms!

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

MOTHER’S DAY 2010

Whatever is on your schedule to do today take a moment to ground yourself. Once you are in it trying to shift might be a bit more complicated. Remember to breathe deeply. Remember to remember that you are made from the same elements that are in the stars and the oceans. You come from great beauty. Most of us forget that and get “stuck” in the thoughts of the memories of the ickies we have experienced. Those were experiences meant to teach not to hurt. The hurt is simply a sign that you are looping the thought of the experience. In other words thinking about it again and again and again thinking that you can change something. Ask what it came to teach you and breathe through the lesson. Welcome it. You are always safe. I repeat, YOU are always safe! Now go out there and have some fun! Don’t make me repeat that too sistah-friend! Go out there and have a blast!!!

Results of FINALLY Trusting Your Journey…

I’m writing to you from the tail end of one of the most fantastic experiences of my life, a Goddess weekend. A good friend invited me to an annual event where an inn keeper in VT invites the goddesses she knows to come and rejuvinate for a weekend. Even though I did not sleep many hours each night I felt like I had had a full night sleep the night before because of the energ work we were doing here. Here are some of the observations of what I did. I hope that you can do the same in your life…

1.  We did not gossip. Energetically gossiping about others is one of the strongest ways to take your energy and flush it down the toilet of life. In our world today it is epidemic so be mindful when it starts. Most of us get a temporary high when we first gossip because for a short time you align with the people around you but that is a temporary feel and what you are really doing is “donating” a lot of your energy to things that will give you no return on your emotions.

2. We surrounded ourselves with people who support us. Use your instincts for this one. Get out of the land of should and feel where you are. People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Make sure you don’t morph into what you think they want you to be. That is also a very simple way to give your energy away with no return. Surround yourself with people who support you! When you are with people who are grounded you will many times also be grounded without having to “do” anything. Simple living. What comes after that is your authentic self…..Mmmmmmmm, deliciously YOU!

3. We had no expectations. We simply went with what came. If we were hungry we ate. If we wanted to play cards we did. If we wanted to go take a nap we did. Now, I know this is a retreat and if you have little ones and/or work this might make it a little challenging but remember that each moment brings a precious opportunity to live your life the way you were put on this planet to do it. No one can do it for you. If you give up that power you will never feel true happiness, only emptiness and not-enoughness.

I’m getting to pack up the bargains I bought at the second hand store and a few other trinkets I found along the way before I go to my massage this morning! YAY!!!!!!!! If you are reading this you are in alignment. The universe is talking to you, as it always is, all you have to do is listen. It’s like being at a very loud party and trying to hear what someone is saying who just called you on your cell. The universe does not usually “scream” at you so the only other option is to create quiet, sacred moments in your day where you are fully listening. That is what (true) yoga, meditation, walking (with no headsets), are for. Have a simply fantastic day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ask that you spread the word to your friends about www.ButterflyMoms.com and that you come back often so that you can fill your soul with wonderful energy! Like fresh, cool water from a mountain stream it will re-energize you! MWAH!!!!!!!!!!

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