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The GIFT OF OPRAH REJECTING ME…

Beautiful Sophia's First (and only) Birthday

Good Morning Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

We all have goals that get SHATTERED at some point. It’s what you do with the pretty shiny pieces that either shuts down your life or gives it a wonderful new road to take.  One of my goals has been to be ON the Oprah Show. I’ve had that dream for over 20 years. It comes more from my gutt than my head, if that makes sense to you. I have had a few cool near misses to connect with Oprah….Like back in the 1900’s 😉 I interviewed to host a show on her network OXYGEN and made it to runner-up. ARGHHHHHHH SOOO CLOSE!!!!! 😉 Most recently I applied to be a host of my own show on Oprah’s new network, OWN. I did not even make it to the top 40. Did I lose? Did I get the results I wanted? The ending I wanted SHIFTED into something else. What I learned from the experience  was to:

1. Ask for what I want. I had to go WAY outside my comfort zone to ask people for help to create the video I needed some said “no” but some said “YES!” too!

2. Carve out time for the things that are important to me. Waiting to do these things until everything else is done is not a life anyone wants to live, the proof is all around you!

3. Be flexible in what comes at you. See things as useful feeback so that you can flow vs stand stiff. You gain more power that way as long as you know what your main goal/passion is. It just might look different that when you first saw it, simply adjust and move forward.

4. Put yourself out there. You’ll NEVER regret putting yourself out there but you will regret (and play over and over and over in your head) what would have been if you had taken that one chance.

5. Naysayers are just part of the journey. Don’t take them personally. Even when you find something you love, that fills you, you will run into people (or they will run into you! 😉 ) who want to kill your dream. They think they are being “helpful” but really they are just speaking to you out of fear – Fear that you will fail and get hurt. Fear that you will succeed and they will be stuck without their dream. Wish them well and send them on their way….without your energy! You need your energy to be present to all the wonderful things that are coming your way!

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson

I saw a special on ESPN about a month ago about Larry Bird vs Magic Johnson and how they fed off each other. They played a better game because they had someone with whom to bounce off their greatness! Oprah is like that for me, for many of us I suspect. She allows us to dream big, bigger, biggest. She is totally playing on planet Earth testing all sorts of limits to see what she can create with the time she has left. She is my LB/MJ!!!! Thinking of her gets me in MY ZONE, that of being the fire that ignites people’s souls. Because of her I am able to visit “being in my zone” more often. From that place we have built ButterflyMoms into one of THE most beloved blogs…..Here are the official stats of what you have helped to create…..

 

 

 

 

FROM THE OFFICIAL WORDPRESS FILES…..

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow!!!

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2010. That’s about 26 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 85 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 93 posts. There were 260 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 296mb. That’s about 5 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was August 3rd with 248 views. The most popular post that day was CONNECTING AGAIN…(AND a call from THE Oprah Show!).

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, butterflymoms.com, twitter.com, hollistonreporter.com, and linkedin.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for kelly davidson pappas, kids having fun at the zoo, nancy barton blog hopkinton, best wedding advice you ever received, and “lara fyfe”. ( I don’t get this part at all.)

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

CONNECTING AGAIN…(AND a call from THE Oprah Show!) July 2010
22 comments

2

The Depths of a Mother’s Desperation – Part Two August 2010
10 comments

3

The Betrayal Of A “Friend”… December 2010
12 comments

4

IT IS TIME…..To WALK THE WALK…. September 2010
31 comments

5

Honoring One of Our Beautiful ButterflyMoms Who Died Last Week… July 2010
16 comments and 1 Like on WordPress.com

 

IT’S MARIA AGAIN….

I only started the blog in May, seven months ago, and look how far we have come! I hope you have LOVED coming here. Mark your calendar. I write EVERY Friday. CARVE out time to come here to partake in the sacred that will help you feed your soul. Doing it alone SUCKS! You already know that! It only drains you. Thanks for helping us ButterflyMoms to this wonderful level! Talk about win-win!!!! YAY! Your being here CREATES CONTAGIOUS MAGIC!!! There a many more of us out there who could use our help so instead of sending a card send them the opportunity for them to get into their zone. Share  www.butterflymoms.com with them! (To share today’s blog with others: http://butterflymoms.wordpress.com/2011/01/07/the-gift-of-oprah-rejecting-me/)

BTW, here’s a little secret….(whispering) being on the Oprah Show is not dead yet!….I still talk to one of the producers every couple of weeks and you just never know!!! :)! (no longer whispering) KEEPIN’ HOPE ALIVE!!!

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS Big things are happening for 2011!!! YAY!!!!!!

My first book!!!!

My first book will be coming out at the end of January. It’s called Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire. If you would like to pre-order a copy please let me know. They are normally $25 but I am including a special price for ButterflyMoms for $19.99. If you buy two I will also include the shipping! This is an extremely proud and happy event for me because I’ve been trying to do it for 20 years!!!

I opened my own healing practice called The Sophia Center on  January 1. If you have something in your life that you need help shifting either body-wise or life-wise I am here to help you. For the month of January I will be reducing the rate of $80 for 50 minutes to only $60 for a 50 minute session. Buy a five-pack of sessions and get another $25 off (only $275). If interested please me an email to maria@butterflymoms.com so you can book an appointment and start the year off with someone who has your back!! It would be a total honor to work with you!

2011? Same SHIT Different Year? What’s YOUR Plan?

“Waking up this morning, I smile.  Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.  I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.”  –Thich Nhat Hanh    

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

First one of my biggest loves in this lifetime…Today is my youngest’s birthday, Miss Isabella turns THREE today. Her spirit is such a fascinating mix of knowing and standing firm with what she wants WITH a deep sweetness/and connection to people. She is definitely an old soul and I’m soooooooo honored to be her Mama! “PARABENS BELLA-JELLA MEU AMOR!” 

We have hit a “bump”. A “blog” is technically supposed to be about 400 words. It is SUCH a passion to write that I end up writing over 1,000. It also takes me about 8-9 hours to write. The feedback I get is that you put off reading it because it’s so long and you don’t want to miss reading all of it. I hear you and my intention is to make the ButterflyMoms blog “closer” to the 400 so that we can both have more bite-size pieces for our souls. All that other energy that is left over will then naturally flow where it needs to…I will announce “where” at the end of today’s blog…a little suspense keeps things “interesting”. 

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF?

As we all stand here on the “cliff” of 2010, many of us start to check in, sort of. Unfortunately checking in for a lot of us means a fruitless act of WISHFUL THINKING. We put our (disconnected from our soul) goals on paper and then are disappointed that we don’t get the house, lose the weight, get the money, or find the soul mate. How many years have you done this, been really hopeful about making a shift and then *BOOM*, it all falls apart!

THIS YEAR you have the choice of doing it differently. How? Simply add the equation of yor soul. Here are four things you can do to help make your life more satisfying, more you in 2011!

1.   Schedule actual time (even if it’s only 15 minutes) to sit down every week and schedule three fun events that honor the kid in you. One is for you to do alone, another is for you to do with your friends/family and another for only your kids. This might sound like a big thing but one of the biggest complaints is that we don’t make enough time for the people we love. Be creative, ask for their input, even start traditions that will add more fun into your life. After about six weeks of doing this it will become a habit. It will take a lot of stress off your plate too because you have already have time set aside for meeting with the people you oftentimes feel guilty about not seeing. Guilt be gone!

 2.  Think of a place where you are really happy. Close your eyes and let yourself go there! Change your breathing. Allow your shoulders to drop. Feel your body and move around like a cat does when it is stretching. Breathe in. Breathe out. Picture it in your mind. Stay there for a while and really feel it. Breathe in. Breathe out. Know that whenever you get stressed out or need to escape you don’t need to eat, drink or even take drugs (even if they are over-the-counter), all you need is to take yourself back to your special place.

3.  Isolation is the great dream killer. If you have a goal and you keep it to yourself there is almost a 99.999999123% chance that you will never birth that dream! Why? The ego will get a hold of it and kill it. The ego is afraid of “change”. When you to others, even strangers you will find that people have an incredible compassion for others. Even these strangers want you to succeed more than your ego does. 

Feeling Safe

4. Every morning ask to see the world with new eyes. EVERY icky situation you have will completely shift if you simply see the world with a new perspective. You have the power. It’s there for you to activate ANY time you want, just bring your awareness to it. 

Big things are happening for 2011!!! YAY!!!!!!

My first book will be coming out at the end of January. It’s called Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire. If you would like to pre-order a copy please let me know. They are normally $25 but I am including a special price for ButterflyMoms for $19.99. If you buy two I will also include the shipping! This is an extremely proud and happy event for me because I’ve been trying to do it for 20 years!!!

I am also opening up my own healing practice called The Sophia Center starting January 1. If you have something in your life that you need help shifting either body-wise or life-wise I am here to help you. For the month of January I will be reducing the rate of $80 for 50 minutes to only $60 for a 50 minute session. Buy a five-pack of sessions and get another $25 off (only $275). If interested please me an email to maria@butterflymoms.com so you can book an appointment and start the year off with someone who has your back!! It would be a total honor to work with you!

Great big honkin’ hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

CHRISTMAS…I LOVE YOU THIS MANY DOLLARS!

 

A Christmas classic about opening your Heart & letting go of hatred

 

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

What an honor it is to write to you on one of my favorite days of the year, December 24th! I like it even better than the 25th because there is sooooo much hope and anticipation, much like the climbing part of the roller coaster as you hit the top and even JUST start going over the other side. For most people, ESPECIALLY in America, December 24th is about gifts, gifts, gifts. Sure there is the food and getting together with family and all the traditions but the one thing it all hinges upon is the GIFTS!

Christmas for many of us is the time when the HOPE of creating the Christmas we never got crashes head on into the GUILT of not being there for our children as much as we’d like. The result is a BIG EMPTY feeling that many of us have tried to fill during the last few decades through more and bigger gifts. How’s that workin’ for ya? Hmmmmm?

...But the kids are having sooooo much fun!!!! NOT!

What is the truth? The TRUTH is that all kids want to be SEEN, HEARD and UNDERSTOOD(SHU). (funny that the acronym is SHU like when you are waiving off a cat or something, “Shu cat, shu 😉 SHU is essentially the meaning of LOVE to both kids, and adults if you took the time to really notice. Most of us were not SHU by our parents so we do this crazy SUPER-SIZING OUR LIVES to make up for our lack of FEELING whole. Meanwhile our minds are somewhere else. We ignore our kids. We don’t see them. We don’t really listen to them. We oftentimes don’t even SHU ourselves because we are focused on our TO DO LIST and BILLS and WORK and FAMILY STUFF. Our kids feel this to their core. The problem is that instead of thinking that, “Oh Mama is just “busy”, they form the INTERNALIZED CORE BELIEF “I’m not lovable!” and thus the EMPTY feelings get passed on, yet again, to the next generation.

Take that in for a moment…..(“Really, really.” Shrek quote) take a couple of deep breaths….How does that feel for you?….Keep taking some deep breaths and go there….Release what’s not working….Sometimes we hold “habit beliefs” that no longer serve us until we realize they are doing more harm than protecting us.

The Beauty of Waking up Early in New England!

I got up at 4:30am today to write with no alarm clock. I LOVE that time! Yesterday I broke my old habits of going to bed late so today I was able to give myself the luxury of having MY morning time to be with the planet and myself, knowing my children and husband are snug in the their beds. I LOVE that feeling! It costs absolutely nothing for me to bring this into my life, no money, no sacrifice, no ordering, no studying, no effort. All it takes is me:

  1. Step one….Bringing awareness to it.
  2. Step two….Changing my actions.
  3. Step three…Feeling how very wonderful it feels to be in this moment! Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Arden and Tandei

When the change happens new things, that really fill our souls, enter. For the last year something has been knocking on my door but I was not ready to open it. I opened the door today and this is what I found….The work my beautiful friend Arden has been doing for 10 years!!!

Her life’s mission “snuck up” on her ten years ago when she was a grad student. What was only supposed to be a semester in Zimbabwe, turned into a year, which turned into forming a spectacular non-profit, that has survived ten years of unbelievable odds!

Coalition for Courage http://www.coalitionforcourage.org/contact.htm is a true grassroots organization located in Norton, Zimbabwe and run out of Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts! (My neck of the woods!!) Arden works with orphans and vulnerable kids who are affected by and infected with HIV. This small organization is a ray of light in a very dark sky. The agency provides much needed support to some of the poorest children in one of the poorest countries in the world. Arden does the kind of work that every mother prays someone will do if her child is ever left alone in the world. Unfortunately in Africa, it is heart-breaking that many children are indeed completely alone because of the ravages of war disease and famine. I spent two hours this morning gloriously soaking up the newsletter and website, feeding my soul and connecting to the souls involved in this work. Two boys stood out.

Tendai before his mother died...what a cutie pie!!!

One is nine year old little boy, named Tendai, who Arden first met when he was in the first grade. She was friends with his mother. One day Tendai appears on her doorstep with ripped shorts, no shoes, emaciated, filthy shirt and sores all over his legs. He shares that his mother has died. Soon after he and his older brother were evicted from their home. His brother, not much older than Tendai tried desperately to get work JUST to buy food but could not. All beautifully recounted in Arden’s newsletter http://coalitionforcourage.org/hard_decisions.htm

The other boy who stands out is a 14 year old kid, Salvatore Sprofera from Medfield who found out about Arden’s heart organization, Coalition for Courage. Sal also discovered the kids and Zimbabwe and he shared a common passion, SOCCER (or “futebol” as most of the world calls it). He started collecting cans at his school and word spread. It took Sal a year and a half but he collected over 500 and over 40 jerseys, 80 pairs of socks, 50 pairs of cleats, and half a dozen soccer balls.This young teenager also got locals stores and organizations to donate uniforms, balls, shin guards and socks. Sal was fortunate enough to go to Zimbabwe with his mother this year to deliver the items. The children at Arden’s orphan care center were so excited that they even hoisted him up on their shoulders! Sal was written up in the following newspapers if you’d like to inspire your own kids that they CAN make a difference!…

http://www.wickedlocal.com/medfield/features/x549827562/Team-Building-Medfield-teen-shares-love-of-soccer-in-Africa

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2010/10/31/millis_teen_tommy_barrett_jr_racks_up_wins_on_racetracks/

 

Salvatore visits his new friends in Zimbabwe!

 

I read about Tendai and Salvatore’s lives to my six year old Mialotta today who on January 3 will be the big 7!!!!!! Mia immediately suggested that her birthday party be the kick-off to helping Arden’s kids. Instead of presents they will bring donations and we will brainstorm later what else we can do to help.

I am honored to have around me, Salvatore, Tendai, Arden and Mialotta, beautiful souls I’ve encountered on my life’s journey who so elegantly remind me to, as Gandhi perfectly shared, “Be the change I want to see in the world.”

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Great big honkin’ hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS  In this season of giving sometimes the best gifts are those that don’t cost anything. Give someone the gift of ButterflyMoms but just sending them the link….www.butterflymoms.com and telling them to check out the blog section. Abundantly feed your friends’ and family’s hearts and souls for free! :)! Guilt-free giving with meaning! YAY!

PPS Coming at the end of January…..MY FIRST BOOK!!!!! Here’s the cover! WHEW WHO!!!!!

The Betrayal Of A “Friend”…

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

 As we live our lives, we run into other souls with whom we feel such a strong connection that we befriend them. It’s pretty amazing that out of the billions and billions of other human beings on this planet we find that one specific person to whom we bond. Why THAT person? I am coming to the realization that friendship comes either to provide “solace-growth” or “aggressive-growth” (maybe even both at times). Allow me to explain…

Some of us have an astronomical amount of these friend connections, while others have only one. SIDENOTE: You would NEVER compare yourself to others if you remembered that whatever you have is what you need, for where you are, in your journey on this planet. There is no perfect general formula, only the PERFECT ONE FOR YOU. Sometimes we call a connection with another a “friendship” but it turns into something else…

In bringing awareness to the word “friendship”, I’m noticing two types of friendships. One we will call FULL FRIENDSHIPS (FFs), in which people give and receive in a mutually satisfactory “love” connection (“LOVE” meaning some true “admiration” and “like” for this other energy being.) These are the people who are not afraid to be honest with you, who believe in you, who have your back. FFs understand your faults and are willing to hear about theirs. If you have ever seen the movie BEACHES that is a great one to explain this type of friendship. Through thick and thin FFs are there. YAY, let’s hear it for FFs!!!!! When life gets especially tough they can provide the perfect shelter from your storm. For FFs to work fully, both you and she must be able to give AND receive because it shifts from one to the other from time to time.

Sitting with my Beautiful FF Sandy with our hearts' dreams, our girls!

The other type of friendship is one in which there is that initial connection or there seems to be a FF but then “something” SHIFTS. We call these POSER FRIENDSHIPS (PFs). This type of friendship emerges when one of the friends is either living most of her existence in fear mode or is just plain in her defense and trying to lull the other person into a certain position. A movie for this one might be SINGLE WHITE FEMALE 😉 (SIDENOTE: Sometimes I AMAZE myself at the wacky stuff my brain comes up with!!! Single White Female is the example? REALLY brain? Too funny!) This person typically is feeling unsafe and can only RECEIVE, but if you talk to them they will often say that it’s the other way around. 😉

So this week I had VERY INTENSE examples of both types. When I first started writing today’s blog only the PF example stood out, but as today unfolded, I realized that although this week’s PF incident had a VERY BIG impact on my life, the number and level of giving from my FFs hit levels of COMPLETE AWE….which brought me to a state of being incredibly GRATEFUL….which when I embraced what was happening, took me straight into a state of being HUMBLE. Being humble is one of the most magnificent frames of mind to be in because everything has a sense of worth and beauty that you miss when you are in other states of mind.

Here is a word of caution….Many of us grew up being trained to be “good girls”. Because of this widely accepted practice, when we are faced with conflict, our first impulse, might be to get all KUM-BAH-YAH, regardless of what we are FEELING. We grew up being told that is what we are SUPPOSED to do. But you know in your heart that NO GOOD CAN COME FROM IGNORING YOUR FEELINGS!  Your POWER comes from your first three chakras, called the LOWER SELF. If you ignore those feelings you cut your power source AND trap energy. That energy will eventually get so concentrated that it will blow. We can all picture examples of what that looks like. No one wants that kind of life!

To break the cycle, simply ask, “What do I have to learn from this situation?” Create the boundaries you need to stay safe and practice letting go of ill will. To find out if you are dealing with a PF simply check in and see how you feel. Your feelings don’t lie. Sure not everyone is perfect but some people are just in that PF mentality and they will only shift when they want to. You can still call them your friend but really all they are, are energy “vampires” who waste their energy on non-nurturing thoughts and activities so they have to take energy from others in order to survive. Call your energy back, cut the cord, send them love and ask for your next adventure to arrive!

From the letters and emails I get from you, the wonderful ButterflyMoms, community I am in awe of the wonderful stories you share with me. I thank you for showing up in your own life. If you have been attracted to our wonderful ButterflyMoms blog the universe is sending you a message that your soul already knows. Create from it what you need to. About 1,000 readers come to ButterflyMoms every week to feed their souls! Thank you for being a part of this wonderful community! As we all continue to celebrate this magical holiday season I wish you much AWARENESS in your life so that your pure JOY can come streaming in!

“MERRY EVERYTHING!”

Great big honkin’ hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂 

PS  I ask you to support my dream, the one baby Sophia helped me push forward. After years of excuses, I am sooooooooo very thrilled that my dream of writing a book has finally come true! It’s been TWENTY YEARS in the making! Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire is the amazing wisdom of 21 entrepreneurial moms who are passing on their knowledge to those who don’t have time for beating around the bush! We all need to make money NOW and live our lives well NOW. This book will definitely help in a very profound way! It’s coming out at the end of January. It will be $25 but if you pre-order it now you get it for only $19.99. Of course I will autograph it for you too! 🙂 Send me an email at maria@butterflymoms.com and I will send you the order form. YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!!

PPS In this season of giving sometimes the best gifts are those that don’t cost anything. Give someone the gift of ButterflyMoms but just sending them the link….www.butterflymoms.com and telling them to check out the blog section. Feed your friends’ and family’s souls for free! :)!

YOUR ANGEL OR YOUR DEVIL?

We have this wondeful Christmas tradition of walking to get our Chritsmas tree! Another wonderful gift from living in beautifuul Holliston!

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

Every Friday when I sit at my computer I am met with a flood of ideas and voices all crowding each other to be heard. My first reaction is to feel overwhelmed. What happens next is critical. I have one of two choices. One, I can “stand down”, which is a cool line I picked up from watching action movies, which means I can abandon my writing, OR, two, I can choose to surrender. What do I mean by surrendering? In surrendering I simply sit back, change my breath pattern (feels like taking a big sigh, sometimes even two or three…depends on the day), and asking, much like that 70’s gameshow, “Will the real ______ please stand up.” In this case I’m asking for help from the universe to guide me to write towards “my best and highest good”.

Once I make that request I’m given only the very first part of what to write about. I surrender again as I feel my mind creep in with “helpful” suggestions. There is a place for your mind but, in writing, I find that REALLY good writing happens only when your brain serves as background information help and not the main writer. The main writing, at least for me, comes from spirit. It’s so fun for me to write, because I never know how it’s going to turn out.

About two weeks before Sophia died. This was at her first birthday party which was an incredibly magical day!

The very first time I experienced this (that I am super conscious of) was the morning I awoke after my little girl Sophia’s sudden death. As I was sleeping I started getting a stream of words  coming through. I tried to ignore it but I had a DEEP KNOWING that I would not remember it later and that it was important that it be shared. My mind was still semi-asleep as my soul guided my body downstairs to my desk and began to write as fast as I could to catch up to the words that were streaming in. Those were the words that I later read at her funeral and can be found here…. http://www.becauseofsophia.com/whoissophia.asp#Letter

The universe is always channeling energy through you. You have sooooo many resources around you that if you STOPPED to REALIZE it you would be amazed, delighted and humbled. Today, slow down, listen to your inner voice, use your breath. Do it consciously. For some because you don’t do this very often you might get the voice of fear/judgment. That is the ego! It is only happy when it is controlling you. It can only control you if you forget that your ego is NOT YOU! Remember in the Tom & Jerry or Bugs Bunny cartoons when you saw the devil and the angel on the character’s shoulder? The devil is the ego. It is only happy if you are not. Here’s where most people get lost in the mix, judging or punishing the ego only makes it stronger. The only way to get rid of it is to BRING GENTLE AWARENESS to it. Realize that it is not you but your fears. Realize that when the ego is on YOUR TRUE SELF cannot be. The TREASURE of who YOU really are is buried underneath that layer of icky. This is not “good” or “bad”, it is just the reason for why your life is the way it is. All you have to do is ACTIVATE CHOICE. Is this how I want to live my life? YES, stay the same. NO, then shift to breath and awareness of the present moment, like me and my writing, you will be given only the next step. Trust in that. Sit back, activate your breath and ACTIVATE YOUR NOW! The only power we have is in the present moment. This season of gift-giving give yourself the gift of ACTIVATING YOURS.

I thank you for showing up in your own life. If you have been attracted to our wonderful ButterflyMoms blog the universe is sending you a message that your soul already knows. Create from it what you need to. About 1,000 readers come to ButterflyMoms every week to feed their souls. Thank you for being a part of this wonderful community! As we all continue to celebrate this magical holiday season I wish you much AWARENESS in your life so that your pure JOY can come streaming in! MERRY EVERYTHING!

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂 

PS In this season of giving sometimes the best gifts are those that don’t cost anything. Give someone the gift of ButterflyMoms but just sending them the link…. www.butterflymoms.com and telling them to check out the blog section. Feed your friends’ and family’s souls for free! :)!

PPS Please help me support my dream, the one Sophia helped me push forward. After so much struggling and excuses, I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo thrilled that my dream of writing a book is finally come true!!! It’s been TWENTY YEARS in the making!!!! Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire is the amazing wisdom of 21 entrepreneurial moms who are passing on their knowledge to those who don’t have time for beating around the bush! We all need to make money NOW and live our lives well NOW. This book will definitely help in a very profound way! It’s coming out at the end of January. It will be $25 but if you pre-order it now you get it for only $19.99. Of course I will autograph it for you too! J Send me an email at maria@butterflymoms.com and I will send you the order form. YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!!

STOP, DROP and NAP!!!

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

I don’t know where you are reading this but I’m writing today from my kitchen with my three daughters 2, 4 and 6 who are acting like they ingested all of their Halloween candy in just the last hour! They are screaming, drawing, running, giggling, screeching and whining all around me. (SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!!!) 😉

As mothers, we are oftentimes told by the “experts” the series of steps we need to have the perfect, socially acceptable, life, but they oftentimes don’t add to that equation, the fact that mothers/parents must do it with a backdrop depth of distraction that can drive a person to ____________ (fill in the blank) (Sometimes I fantasize about how even going on the reality show “Survivor” with all its drama, plotting, starvation, wet/cold conditions, etc., would be like a  vacation, compared to how challenging it can be to deal with all the levels we go through as parents.) Being only responsible for myself for six weeks????? SIGN ME UP JEFF!

I’ve done it again! DAMN IT! It snuck up on me! It’s right in the middle of the holiday season and I’ve already forgotten to take care of myself. For me it’s mostly lack of sleep. It is my “gateway” catalyst for me going down that dark, dark road of silent and dutiful martyrdom. I feel like if I put my head down this very second, I would start drooling and snoring instantly. No doubt about it.

We are talking about deep exhaustion. It sneaks up on you, a lost hour of sleep here watching a football game that went too long, or a movie that grabbed you just 10 minutes BEFORE your bedtime. It’s the countless times you got woken up to wipe a nose or a butt in the middle of the night. It’s the getting up early to prepare for a presentation before everyone else is up. It’s all these “little” episodes of lack of sleep that over time transport you to the Land of Ickies. Ahhh, the Land of Ickies, a very non-magical place where everything has a lower annoyance threshold, where you tend to eat more and mindlessly, where you are attracted more to TV/computers and less to books. It is a land where your dreams slip further and further away from reach. It is not a happy place. Being here for long periods of times erodes your connection to your soul. We have all seen moms who have been here too long…sometimes I see glimpses of her in the mirror. It is an epidemic that is so wide-spread that it has even started seeping into society’s fabric as the “new normal”.

Want to GET YOUR HAPPY BACK?  Ah, well then, it’s off to the Land of Love for you! What happens there? Well, that is where you love what you do, where you use your feelings and intuition guides you, where you attract the abundance of money and love effortlessly, where you find your life’s purpose. You have no need to judge yourself of others there and you see much more of the beauty that is always all around you. – To attain the golden ticket back to the Land of Love all you need to do is STOP, DROP and NAP! PLEASE try this at home!

If you need a prescription for it I will certainly write you one! Just let me know! 😉 Feel free to write one for yourself and a friend today. Imagine what the world would look like with all us napping! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, activating my nap as soon as I file this blog! Won’t you join me?

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS  PS I’m sooooo thrilled that my dream of writing a book is finally come true!!! Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire is the amazing wisdom of 21 entrepreneurial moms who are passing on their knowledge to those who don’t have time for beating around the bush! We all need to make money NOW and live our lives well NOW. This book will definitely help in a very profound way! It’s coming out at the end of January. It will be $25 but if you pre-order it now you get it for only $19.99. Of course I will autograph it for you too! 🙂 Send me an email at maria@butterflymoms.com and I will send you the order form. YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!!

 

Unpacking My Summer

Rhys Thomas' New Hampshire Retreat

Hello Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

It’s been a very interesting summer full of adventure and even a little drama thrown in there. I have started a new thing I do and that is whenever I get home from a trip,  I unpack right away. I do this because I have noticed that  otherwise in my house piles of stuff tend to hang out for a whiiiiiiiiiiiiile. 😉  

All this thinking about unpacking made me think of our summer and what we would each unpack from our summers if we were asked.

For me I would unpack and keep the gift of RESOURCEFULLNESS.

It is important to note that I spent 2 months with my three girls and my aunt in a small (in American standards) condo almost 24 hours a day. Because we were on a very limited budget I had no cell phone, watch or car, and there were so many of us that I slept on the floor all summer. I must admit that I did spend a very insy-weeny tiny little bit whining to my beautiful husband Doug that I couldn’t do anything with three young kids, with no money and no car but once I SNAPPED OUT OF IT and let my resourcefulness in it was a blast.

It also  again gave me the gift of experiencing the fact that if parents are relaxed so are the kids (and vice versa, of course!) My kids got to see a more relaxed side of me that they don’t see on a consistent basis. To stay in budget we packed lunches  and had lots of picnics. We bought food and cooked at home instead of the normal dining out from past trips. We did “splurge” on three small balls for the girls which they kicked around in the park almost every day. The kids ran and jumped and climbed and had a total blast simply being kids.

THE GIFT OF SMALLER

The indoor space we had in Portugal this summer was definitely smaller than normal American standards but it also helped us all bond a lot more. They learned the gift of sharing and honoring space, even in tight quarters. As the founder of Brick House Realty I oftentimes show people houses that are MONSTROUSLY big with each kid having there own room. As a mother and business owner I believe that kids sharing rooms is one of THE coolest things you can do for your kids and your whole family because those bonds and experiences are priceless.

Feeding the giraffes at the zoo in Lisboa, Portugal. Same zoo I went to as a child! Felt awesome to be able to take my girls there too!

Another cool perk of choosing to be resourceful is that because we had no car, it also gave us the gift of experimenting with public transportation, like trains, subways, buses, even a tram. Living in Holliston, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston we don’t get access to a lot of that type of full on public transportation so it’s wonderful fun for them, and me too! More cool memories for them! Yay Mommy Points!!! 😉

Resourcefulness is what I’m unpacking from my summer to use this autumn. What are you unpacking from your summer?

Great big hugs,

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

AM I INSPIRING MYSELF? HOOK UP WITH YOUR TAWANDAH!

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

Yesterday we started speaking about inspiration and then the subject evolved into another AWARENESS lesson. There must be a lot of growth going on because the subject of AWARENESS is popping a lot here for my intuitional writing! 😉 Go with the flow!

So today’s blog is going to be short and sweet so that you have time to really SEE YOURSELF today. (DEEP BREATH) Truly SEEING YOURSELF will unlock all that MAGNIFICENT TREASURE you have inside of you! It is WAYYYYYYYYYY bettter than any lottery you could win, promise!

So today, close your eyes (after you finish reading this, of course 😉 ) and picture yourself in 20 years if you have followed your best and highest good paths in life. Where are you? Is there anyone around you? What is the future you like? Let her give you a hug, a big one. She LOVES YOU! She wants the best for you. She sees how you are making choices that bring you a lot of suffering. She has been through all that. SHE IS YOU. No one knows you better than she does. What name will you give her so that you can easily identify her energy in your life? Mine is TAWANDAH!!!!! 😉 Will you be open and listen to what she has to say to you? Give yourself that gift. You are completely SAFE with her. SHE WANTS THE BEST FOR YOU. What advice does she have for you? (DEEP BREATHS)

Take a few moments to be with her and see what she shows you. We see time as linear but it is not. You have deep, deep wisdom there at your fingertips from your TAWANDAH. She wants to share with you the same way you would want to share if your younger self showed up in your life asking for advice. Reap the rewards of deep wisdom. Swim in the wonderful feeling of being around her. Feel her hugs. Feel free to ask her whatever you like. You might want to keep paper handy in case you want to write. You will forget this wisdom over time even if you have the best intentions, writing will help you remember.

If you feel comfortable share the nuggets of truth and wisdom you find. Be open to whatever kind of experience you have. This is fun! You are safe!

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS Spread the love…. http://wp.me/pBdfR-aQ

The Depths of a Mother’s Desperation….PART ONE

Hello Beautiful ButterflyMoms!

I’m humbled that when I wrote the last blog after not writing for two weeks, almost 400 people read it in just 2 days! WOW! THANK YOU for helping me get the message out to other ButterflyMoms. It feels WONDERFUL to be on this journey with you! Please keep spreading the word so that we can bring some answers to those who think there is no hope and have all but given up. I will include the link to today’s blog at the end of this entry so that you can easily share with others. MWAH! It’s cheaper than Hallmark and more precious than GOLD and you get to be the hope giver! YAY!

We’ve all gotten gifts, some big, some small, some meaningful, some useless ;), but has anyone ever given you a PERSON, a real, life person? As odd as it might sound initially, it has happened to me a few times in my life.

Chiang Rai

The first time I was 22 years old, had just graduated from Boston College and started my job working in Japan for the Japanese government in the JETT program. It was the Christmas holiday break and my dear friend Tracey and I were backpacking for a month in Thailand. It was at the end of our trip. We were in a remote part of Chiang Rai waiting for a bus back to Bangkok. The bus schedule had changed and we had a few hours to wait. We decided to just hang out and read in the sun by the bus stop which was pretty rural with beautiful trees and plants. (ahhhhhh, remember when we could just do that decide to randomly sit down and read, ahhhhh! – a time before children – for those of us still with little ones I wanted to give us all a “CALGONE” break 😉 ) We sat in the grass to read by some little kids who were playing near us. One thing led to another and before I knew it, I started playing with one of the kids. He was such a kind, happy child! After a while the boy’s mom and two other younger siblings joined us. The mom and children all had amazing energy! They were gentle, kind, honorable people. We did not speak the same language but we had a wonderful time doing the most basic thing, connecting with each other by simply smiling and “gesturing” to each other as we played simple fun games.

I stayed in one of these. There is no running water or electricity. When we asked where the bathroom was they responded, "Anywhere." Quite an adventure!

I could tell they had very little and it was almost time for my bus to leave so we walked over to the nearby store and I remember gesturing for her to get anything she wanted. I will never forget what happened next. She got milk for her baby and soap. I gestured that she could get more so the took another bar of soup. Wow, to me when I said “get more” I meant “Sweetie-YOU-HAVE-THREE-HUNGRY-BABIES-BUY-OUT-THE-PLACE!” To her, those two items were already probably more than she had ever received, more than she imagined someone would give her. It is in moments like this where an overwhelming feeling of being HUMBLE overtook me! Us with all our vast amounts of STUFF, our gobs of food, our mountains of possessions, our huge houses and fridges, and this wonderful family, starving! It all felt soooooo wrong. So unfair.  Even though this Mother was offered to get ANYTHING in that store, she picked two VERY BASIC necessity items, as she saw them. I could see that they were hungry so I gave her as much money as I had on me because sadly I could think of nothing else I could do. She was extremely grateful and we both cried and hugged.

A beautiful culture!

We went back outside to play. The gentle mom disappeared for a few minutes. After a while she came back with someone who spoke a little English. The “translator” told me that she would be honored if I would take her oldest son who was about 5 with me. WAIT. WHAT? I did not know what to say. As strange as it sounds, inside my brain I was actually thinking of HOW I could I bring this child with me into Japan, where I was working at the time. My friend Tracey helped me see that there was NO WAY that was even a remote possibility. I thanked the young mother and said I wish I couldn’t. She then looked down and thought for few moments. She slowly went to her second youngest child, a little girl who was about 2 or 3 and “offered” me her. My heart broke a little more. I could tell she was a kind mother who deeply loved her children and wanted better for them than she could provide. Even then, at 22, the pain/desperation/sadness in that mother’s eyes stays with me. I knew this was hell for her. I knew if she was asking that their circumstances must be dire. I had no way of helping other than the small monetary contribution I had made. I sadly apologized as I said I could not take her beloved second child either. Then when I thought things could not get any harder the mom looked over at her baby and started sobbing. She slowly approached me with her infant and held her up to me……Come on people! Are you kidding me?! Do people really live desperately? Do moms really need to make these kind of decisions? PLEASE NOTE. It is not about JUDGING HERE. It is about AWARENESS. Bringing awareness to a situation without judging brings us deep feelings. It is under these circumstances that our INTUITION is invited to come and GUIDE US.

(DEEP, SWEET BREATHS HERE PLEASE) (A COUPLE OF TIMES IF YOU WILL) It is important to remember in the telling of this true event that happened two decades ago in my life that there are still many lessons, probably more lessons then at the time because it was so overwhelming for me at 22 to feel so powerless to help other, especially a gentle mother and her children. One of the biggest lessons is that not only can we NOT “save” people but it is also not our “JOB” to do so. It’s not that “we can’t SAVE everyone” it’s that we cannot “SAVE” anyone.

As moms we tend to want to FIX everything for everyone. If you bring awareness to the situation you find that we have a society of children who have been so protected and coddled that they do not realize the value of what they have because they don’t understand what it is like to be hungry or cold or not get every toy they want. Many of our children a butterflies whose wings were not allowed to struggle against the cocoon as they emerged from it because the butterfly’s “family” could not bear to see “their” baby struggle. Not a guilt thing beautiful ButterflyMoms, just bring AWARENESS. There is NO “SHOULD”. We are in an age of human development where we are shifting from the LAND OF SHOULD to a LAND OF AWARENESS. It takes a little practice but once you get the hang of it you will see the amazing “coincidences” that fall in your lap dozens and dozens of times A DAY!!!!!! It’s fun! I’m doing it and that is HOW I’m attracting Oprah. It works! It’s free! It’s fun! I love sharing it so you and other ButterflyMoms can PLAY with me in this wonderful adventure we are on called LIFE – VIDA – VITA – VIE!

This is the end of Part 1 of this story. When I start writing I never know where it will take me. I did not realize this event in my life still had sooooo much “juice”. I’m glad I shared it because I still had a lot of guilt over it and if that mom ever knew that she was helping other moms by sharing her story, then I feel she would be really thrilled. Come back tomorrow when I will talk about the second time someone offered me a person. This time I did not say NO. (enter music TAH DAH DUH!!!) 😉

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS If you like what you read please post this on your FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, etc and email friends. In the noise of life we can all use a gentle reminder to connect to what is REAL and feels good! Here’s the magic link….Cut and Paste it to share pure fun with your friends:    http://wp.me/pBdfR-9J

Sasha and Ava.....ahhhhhhh!

COOL BUTTERFLYMOM OF THE DAY!

( NEW FEAUTURE – LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE IT!)

Today we are featuring ButterflyMom Sasha Martin who played with her passion and started http://www.GlobalTableAdventure.com

Join the fun as she cooks and eats her way around the world, with her picky husband (Keith) and sweet baby girl (Ava). ♥ ♥
Mission: Her adventure: To eat her way around the world: 195 countries, 195 meals, 195 weeks.

CONNECTING AGAIN…(AND a call from THE Oprah Show!)

Now this is a Park!!!! Parque das Conchas - Lisboa, Portugal!

HELLO! HELLO! HELLO! MY BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLYMOMS!!!!

Have you missed ButterflyMoms? 😉  I’ve missed YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow! It seems like forever and at the same time like just yesterday. I stopped writing two weeks ago because I was spending so much time trying to get online. I had a really bad connection, EFFORTING all the way! It was taking time away from my kids, family, friends and vacation. Sometimes it took me more than 8 hours to download the content I had written with photos for ONE posting onto the ButterflyMoms site! It was very stressful and of course I took it mostly from MY sleeping time – when the kids were asleep. After a while I got a “little” cranky. Who wants to be cranky when they are surrounded by beauty, sun, history, good food and summer in Portugal?! No one, that’s who! 😉

So why am I writing now? Well great that you should ask! Check out how the universe works….Most of you know that when I started writing daily for ButterflyMoms it was like I put on HUGE antennas out into the world and immediately STUFF started SHIFTING! The biggest was that I got a call from an Oprah Show producer about being ON the show! (A big “ZOWIE” with cartwheels!!!!!!) That dream had laid dormant (cocooning) because of motherhood and life in general (you know the drill! ;)) While I was talking to the producer he went to the ButterflyMoms site and checked it out! I was soooo thrilled!!! I sent them what he requested (some more information and a headshot). He said he would pitch it to the other producers and if were good enough they’d be in touch. It’s the ‘ole “don’t call us, we’ll call you.” 😉 An amazing thing happened! Instead of worrying like I was culturally taught to do ;), I let go of the OUTCOME! (deep breath – really feel this) Just being asked was AMAZING! I basked in how cool it was and took BEING PRESENT all in! (That is a VERY important part of the recipe y’all! – You are not truly LIVING if you are not IN THE PRESENT! Living in the PAST is called REMINISING. Living in the FUTURE is called HOPING. Being in the NOW is called LIVING!)

Look up "Fernando Pessoa" on Wikepedia...Amazing Portuguese writer. Here is his statue. They sell Cuban cigars right next door! 😉

Energetically what was happening is that I was sending out wonderful energy and the results just kept pouring in…Next thing I know seven friends, who don’t know each other at all, sent me emails about an Oprah contest for people who want their OWN SHOW. I resisted at first but then it gets pretty CRAZY-OBVIOUS that this is definitely an OMEN when people just kept emailing me that “this is so you”! I decided to confront fear and go for it! But how? I asked friends for help and together we created a rockin’ video entry that got over 30,000 votes in about 11 days! Soooooooo many ButterflyMoms and Dads spread it to their friends, put up posters, took it work, posted it, and voted as many times as they could! We got into six publications including the Boston Globe and Middlesex News and a call from one of major news stations who wanted to do a story. It was simply AMAZING and HUMBLING! I had made plans to spend the summer in Portugal with my girls (as I had done as a child) and decided to go even though I had not heard back from the contest – they were supposed to have an answer by beginning of July…. always follow your heart 🙂

Always follow your heart, huh? Ok, that is all cool and dandy but the heart also gets restless! When I think about all the time I spent on “boyfriends” over the years, morphing into who they wanted me to be so that I would be loved! Let’s just say I wish I had learned my lesson FASTER! 😉 Everything takes its time. Sometimes we try to force things to happen quicker but just like with growing a veggie garden or making a baby, everything has its “GERMINATION” time. 😉 I was again reminded to “let go” and “trust”. Like many others, that is not exactly the message I picked up from my childhood. It is a very important one though, very important! If you are focusing on what you don’t have, more of that will come to you. It’s actually more like, the more you focus on something, the more you only SEE THAT and the “stuff” that you DO WANT virtually disappears. “WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT, YOU SEE MORE OF”….Think about what you like/love/are passionate about. Keep a gratitude journal and write about those things in there. I promise you, you will start SEEING SHIFTS, BIG and small! Stay with it! Invite your friends to join in! Have fun with it!

Six o'clock tea anyone? In front of Castelo Sao Jorge (St. George's Castle)

EVERYTHING you do is leading you somewhere! EVERYTHING! Most of us want to do what we are SUPPOSED to do AND THEN “when”:

-the bills are paid

-I win the lottery

-I get promoted

-I get in shape

-I get a better job

-The kids are older

-The house is paid down

-I pay off my student loans

-I lose weight

-I pay off my credit cards

-I pay for the kids’ college

-I retire…..

THEN! YES! THEN I WILL be happy and do the things I love!……..Rrrrrrrrrrrrright, like that’s how it works! YOU KNOW that’s now how it works but that is how we think when we fall into that HOLE of DESPAIR, mostly seeing the “empty” of our lives and not the “FULLNESS”! See your passions! Talk about them! Dream about them! Write about them! Seek them out and you will see them EVERYWHERE!!!!!

Weeks go by………(tick tock tick tock) Ok, so I was getting restless. I LOVE being here in Portugal and was having (and am having) a GREAT time! It’s just that I wanted to know about the OWN SHOW contest. The expectation was that we would hear by early June. There had been no further announcements and I just wanted to know either way if I was one of the top 40. Again I decided to LET IT GO. Just TRUST that whatever answer would come would come in the right time and that IN THE NOW I would concentrate on TRULY BEING HERE! SOAKING IT ALL IN! I’m on a budget here but I’m having wonderful fun just seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, feeling the TOTAL EXPERIENCE of BEING in PORTUGAL! The time I stopped writing here was about re-connecting with that!

Well, two days ago I got a call from my studly husband Doug saying that THE OPRAH SHOW had called again! I had put it out of my mind so it totally caught me off guard. The same producer who had called a couple of months ago called again and asked me to send him a new video of the letter I had sent in describing an Oprah episode that had GREATLY helped me from giving up on life when my baby girl Sophia suddenly died in my arms. Each time I tell the story about the show I still cry and get goose bumps. It was VERY powerful show! The producer also said….(drum roll) that Oprah will be watching the clip herself!!!! WOW! NO PRESSURE PEOPLE! He apologized that he needed it by the next day but that he would be editing it. I just needed to send him footage. “PSHAHHHH!!! Not a problem I said hanging up.”

Almost immediately things started going “not as I expected/wished”. It was sooooo much stuff going “wrong” that my (very Catholic) aunt was asking the sky if there was a witch up there. “I certainly hope so,” I responded “because we need all the help we can get!” 😉 The biggest obstacle was the internet connection. My connection was VERY weak and to download each video was going to take almost 9 hours! YIKES! The pressure was building! At first I EFFORTED BIG TIME, but at some point I just LET IT GO, not with frustration but with knowing that I had done the best I could and that my BEST AND HIGHEST GOOD was on its way!

LIFE's REFLECTIONS...

The solution came in the form of a neighbor who heard from another neighbor, who heard from another neighbor who heard from his wife that “D. Olga’s-niece-who-is-visiting-from-America” was having trouble connecting to the internet! IT TAKES A VILLAGE!!! YES IT DOES! The simple solution was that he gave me his security code and I now have a FABULOUS internet connection! With the new connection I was able to send the biggest file in 14 minutes, instead of 9 hours and I can also download my ButterflyMoms blog faster too which means I can write again! YAY!!!!!!!!

I know I wrote a lot today but there are soooo many lessons popping up! Savor your lessons. Most of us get mad at ours but see what happens when you BEFRIEND YOUR LESSONS! They are here to SERVE YOU!

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS Oh and the producer also told me that for the Oprah contest they have not picked their final 40 yet. Practice saying this more in your life: “If it serves my best and highest good, then it will happen at the perfect time.” :)!

PPS If you like what you read:

1. Post it on your FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.

2. Share it with your friends!

MWAH!

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