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The Betrayal Of A “Friend”…

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

 As we live our lives, we run into other souls with whom we feel such a strong connection that we befriend them. It’s pretty amazing that out of the billions and billions of other human beings on this planet we find that one specific person to whom we bond. Why THAT person? I am coming to the realization that friendship comes either to provide “solace-growth” or “aggressive-growth” (maybe even both at times). Allow me to explain…

Some of us have an astronomical amount of these friend connections, while others have only one. SIDENOTE: You would NEVER compare yourself to others if you remembered that whatever you have is what you need, for where you are, in your journey on this planet. There is no perfect general formula, only the PERFECT ONE FOR YOU. Sometimes we call a connection with another a “friendship” but it turns into something else…

In bringing awareness to the word “friendship”, I’m noticing two types of friendships. One we will call FULL FRIENDSHIPS (FFs), in which people give and receive in a mutually satisfactory “love” connection (“LOVE” meaning some true “admiration” and “like” for this other energy being.) These are the people who are not afraid to be honest with you, who believe in you, who have your back. FFs understand your faults and are willing to hear about theirs. If you have ever seen the movie BEACHES that is a great one to explain this type of friendship. Through thick and thin FFs are there. YAY, let’s hear it for FFs!!!!! When life gets especially tough they can provide the perfect shelter from your storm. For FFs to work fully, both you and she must be able to give AND receive because it shifts from one to the other from time to time.

Sitting with my Beautiful FF Sandy with our hearts' dreams, our girls!

The other type of friendship is one in which there is that initial connection or there seems to be a FF but then “something” SHIFTS. We call these POSER FRIENDSHIPS (PFs). This type of friendship emerges when one of the friends is either living most of her existence in fear mode or is just plain in her defense and trying to lull the other person into a certain position. A movie for this one might be SINGLE WHITE FEMALE 😉 (SIDENOTE: Sometimes I AMAZE myself at the wacky stuff my brain comes up with!!! Single White Female is the example? REALLY brain? Too funny!) This person typically is feeling unsafe and can only RECEIVE, but if you talk to them they will often say that it’s the other way around. 😉

So this week I had VERY INTENSE examples of both types. When I first started writing today’s blog only the PF example stood out, but as today unfolded, I realized that although this week’s PF incident had a VERY BIG impact on my life, the number and level of giving from my FFs hit levels of COMPLETE AWE….which brought me to a state of being incredibly GRATEFUL….which when I embraced what was happening, took me straight into a state of being HUMBLE. Being humble is one of the most magnificent frames of mind to be in because everything has a sense of worth and beauty that you miss when you are in other states of mind.

Here is a word of caution….Many of us grew up being trained to be “good girls”. Because of this widely accepted practice, when we are faced with conflict, our first impulse, might be to get all KUM-BAH-YAH, regardless of what we are FEELING. We grew up being told that is what we are SUPPOSED to do. But you know in your heart that NO GOOD CAN COME FROM IGNORING YOUR FEELINGS!  Your POWER comes from your first three chakras, called the LOWER SELF. If you ignore those feelings you cut your power source AND trap energy. That energy will eventually get so concentrated that it will blow. We can all picture examples of what that looks like. No one wants that kind of life!

To break the cycle, simply ask, “What do I have to learn from this situation?” Create the boundaries you need to stay safe and practice letting go of ill will. To find out if you are dealing with a PF simply check in and see how you feel. Your feelings don’t lie. Sure not everyone is perfect but some people are just in that PF mentality and they will only shift when they want to. You can still call them your friend but really all they are, are energy “vampires” who waste their energy on non-nurturing thoughts and activities so they have to take energy from others in order to survive. Call your energy back, cut the cord, send them love and ask for your next adventure to arrive!

From the letters and emails I get from you, the wonderful ButterflyMoms, community I am in awe of the wonderful stories you share with me. I thank you for showing up in your own life. If you have been attracted to our wonderful ButterflyMoms blog the universe is sending you a message that your soul already knows. Create from it what you need to. About 1,000 readers come to ButterflyMoms every week to feed their souls! Thank you for being a part of this wonderful community! As we all continue to celebrate this magical holiday season I wish you much AWARENESS in your life so that your pure JOY can come streaming in!


Great big honkin’ hugs,


PS  I ask you to support my dream, the one baby Sophia helped me push forward. After years of excuses, I am sooooooooo very thrilled that my dream of writing a book has finally come true! It’s been TWENTY YEARS in the making! Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire is the amazing wisdom of 21 entrepreneurial moms who are passing on their knowledge to those who don’t have time for beating around the bush! We all need to make money NOW and live our lives well NOW. This book will definitely help in a very profound way! It’s coming out at the end of January. It will be $25 but if you pre-order it now you get it for only $19.99. Of course I will autograph it for you too! 🙂 Send me an email at and I will send you the order form. YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!!

PPS In this season of giving sometimes the best gifts are those that don’t cost anything. Give someone the gift of ButterflyMoms but just sending them the link… and telling them to check out the blog section. Feed your friends’ and family’s souls for free! :)!


We have this wondeful Christmas tradition of walking to get our Chritsmas tree! Another wonderful gift from living in beautifuul Holliston!

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

Every Friday when I sit at my computer I am met with a flood of ideas and voices all crowding each other to be heard. My first reaction is to feel overwhelmed. What happens next is critical. I have one of two choices. One, I can “stand down”, which is a cool line I picked up from watching action movies, which means I can abandon my writing, OR, two, I can choose to surrender. What do I mean by surrendering? In surrendering I simply sit back, change my breath pattern (feels like taking a big sigh, sometimes even two or three…depends on the day), and asking, much like that 70’s gameshow, “Will the real ______ please stand up.” In this case I’m asking for help from the universe to guide me to write towards “my best and highest good”.

Once I make that request I’m given only the very first part of what to write about. I surrender again as I feel my mind creep in with “helpful” suggestions. There is a place for your mind but, in writing, I find that REALLY good writing happens only when your brain serves as background information help and not the main writer. The main writing, at least for me, comes from spirit. It’s so fun for me to write, because I never know how it’s going to turn out.

About two weeks before Sophia died. This was at her first birthday party which was an incredibly magical day!

The very first time I experienced this (that I am super conscious of) was the morning I awoke after my little girl Sophia’s sudden death. As I was sleeping I started getting a stream of words  coming through. I tried to ignore it but I had a DEEP KNOWING that I would not remember it later and that it was important that it be shared. My mind was still semi-asleep as my soul guided my body downstairs to my desk and began to write as fast as I could to catch up to the words that were streaming in. Those were the words that I later read at her funeral and can be found here….

The universe is always channeling energy through you. You have sooooo many resources around you that if you STOPPED to REALIZE it you would be amazed, delighted and humbled. Today, slow down, listen to your inner voice, use your breath. Do it consciously. For some because you don’t do this very often you might get the voice of fear/judgment. That is the ego! It is only happy when it is controlling you. It can only control you if you forget that your ego is NOT YOU! Remember in the Tom & Jerry or Bugs Bunny cartoons when you saw the devil and the angel on the character’s shoulder? The devil is the ego. It is only happy if you are not. Here’s where most people get lost in the mix, judging or punishing the ego only makes it stronger. The only way to get rid of it is to BRING GENTLE AWARENESS to it. Realize that it is not you but your fears. Realize that when the ego is on YOUR TRUE SELF cannot be. The TREASURE of who YOU really are is buried underneath that layer of icky. This is not “good” or “bad”, it is just the reason for why your life is the way it is. All you have to do is ACTIVATE CHOICE. Is this how I want to live my life? YES, stay the same. NO, then shift to breath and awareness of the present moment, like me and my writing, you will be given only the next step. Trust in that. Sit back, activate your breath and ACTIVATE YOUR NOW! The only power we have is in the present moment. This season of gift-giving give yourself the gift of ACTIVATING YOURS.

I thank you for showing up in your own life. If you have been attracted to our wonderful ButterflyMoms blog the universe is sending you a message that your soul already knows. Create from it what you need to. About 1,000 readers come to ButterflyMoms every week to feed their souls. Thank you for being a part of this wonderful community! As we all continue to celebrate this magical holiday season I wish you much AWARENESS in your life so that your pure JOY can come streaming in! MERRY EVERYTHING!

Great big hugs,


PS In this season of giving sometimes the best gifts are those that don’t cost anything. Give someone the gift of ButterflyMoms but just sending them the link…. and telling them to check out the blog section. Feed your friends’ and family’s souls for free! :)!

PPS Please help me support my dream, the one Sophia helped me push forward. After so much struggling and excuses, I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo thrilled that my dream of writing a book is finally come true!!! It’s been TWENTY YEARS in the making!!!! Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire is the amazing wisdom of 21 entrepreneurial moms who are passing on their knowledge to those who don’t have time for beating around the bush! We all need to make money NOW and live our lives well NOW. This book will definitely help in a very profound way! It’s coming out at the end of January. It will be $25 but if you pre-order it now you get it for only $19.99. Of course I will autograph it for you too! J Send me an email at and I will send you the order form. YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!!


Dearest ButterflyMoms,

I don’t know where you are reading this but I’m writing today from my kitchen with my three daughters 2, 4 and 6 who are acting like they ingested all of their Halloween candy in just the last hour! They are screaming, drawing, running, giggling, screeching and whining all around me. (SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!!!) 😉

As mothers, we are oftentimes told by the “experts” the series of steps we need to have the perfect, socially acceptable, life, but they oftentimes don’t add to that equation, the fact that mothers/parents must do it with a backdrop depth of distraction that can drive a person to ____________ (fill in the blank) (Sometimes I fantasize about how even going on the reality show “Survivor” with all its drama, plotting, starvation, wet/cold conditions, etc., would be like a  vacation, compared to how challenging it can be to deal with all the levels we go through as parents.) Being only responsible for myself for six weeks????? SIGN ME UP JEFF!

I’ve done it again! DAMN IT! It snuck up on me! It’s right in the middle of the holiday season and I’ve already forgotten to take care of myself. For me it’s mostly lack of sleep. It is my “gateway” catalyst for me going down that dark, dark road of silent and dutiful martyrdom. I feel like if I put my head down this very second, I would start drooling and snoring instantly. No doubt about it.

We are talking about deep exhaustion. It sneaks up on you, a lost hour of sleep here watching a football game that went too long, or a movie that grabbed you just 10 minutes BEFORE your bedtime. It’s the countless times you got woken up to wipe a nose or a butt in the middle of the night. It’s the getting up early to prepare for a presentation before everyone else is up. It’s all these “little” episodes of lack of sleep that over time transport you to the Land of Ickies. Ahhh, the Land of Ickies, a very non-magical place where everything has a lower annoyance threshold, where you tend to eat more and mindlessly, where you are attracted more to TV/computers and less to books. It is a land where your dreams slip further and further away from reach. It is not a happy place. Being here for long periods of times erodes your connection to your soul. We have all seen moms who have been here too long…sometimes I see glimpses of her in the mirror. It is an epidemic that is so wide-spread that it has even started seeping into society’s fabric as the “new normal”.

Want to GET YOUR HAPPY BACK?  Ah, well then, it’s off to the Land of Love for you! What happens there? Well, that is where you love what you do, where you use your feelings and intuition guides you, where you attract the abundance of money and love effortlessly, where you find your life’s purpose. You have no need to judge yourself of others there and you see much more of the beauty that is always all around you. – To attain the golden ticket back to the Land of Love all you need to do is STOP, DROP and NAP! PLEASE try this at home!

If you need a prescription for it I will certainly write you one! Just let me know! 😉 Feel free to write one for yourself and a friend today. Imagine what the world would look like with all us napping! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, activating my nap as soon as I file this blog! Won’t you join me?

Great big hugs,


PS  PS I’m sooooo thrilled that my dream of writing a book is finally come true!!! Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire is the amazing wisdom of 21 entrepreneurial moms who are passing on their knowledge to those who don’t have time for beating around the bush! We all need to make money NOW and live our lives well NOW. This book will definitely help in a very profound way! It’s coming out at the end of January. It will be $25 but if you pre-order it now you get it for only $19.99. Of course I will autograph it for you too! 🙂 Send me an email at and I will send you the order form. YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!!


Unpacking My Summer

Rhys Thomas' New Hampshire Retreat

Hello Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

It’s been a very interesting summer full of adventure and even a little drama thrown in there. I have started a new thing I do and that is whenever I get home from a trip,  I unpack right away. I do this because I have noticed that  otherwise in my house piles of stuff tend to hang out for a whiiiiiiiiiiiiile. 😉  

All this thinking about unpacking made me think of our summer and what we would each unpack from our summers if we were asked.

For me I would unpack and keep the gift of RESOURCEFULLNESS.

It is important to note that I spent 2 months with my three girls and my aunt in a small (in American standards) condo almost 24 hours a day. Because we were on a very limited budget I had no cell phone, watch or car, and there were so many of us that I slept on the floor all summer. I must admit that I did spend a very insy-weeny tiny little bit whining to my beautiful husband Doug that I couldn’t do anything with three young kids, with no money and no car but once I SNAPPED OUT OF IT and let my resourcefulness in it was a blast.

It also  again gave me the gift of experiencing the fact that if parents are relaxed so are the kids (and vice versa, of course!) My kids got to see a more relaxed side of me that they don’t see on a consistent basis. To stay in budget we packed lunches  and had lots of picnics. We bought food and cooked at home instead of the normal dining out from past trips. We did “splurge” on three small balls for the girls which they kicked around in the park almost every day. The kids ran and jumped and climbed and had a total blast simply being kids.


The indoor space we had in Portugal this summer was definitely smaller than normal American standards but it also helped us all bond a lot more. They learned the gift of sharing and honoring space, even in tight quarters. As the founder of Brick House Realty I oftentimes show people houses that are MONSTROUSLY big with each kid having there own room. As a mother and business owner I believe that kids sharing rooms is one of THE coolest things you can do for your kids and your whole family because those bonds and experiences are priceless.

Feeding the giraffes at the zoo in Lisboa, Portugal. Same zoo I went to as a child! Felt awesome to be able to take my girls there too!

Another cool perk of choosing to be resourceful is that because we had no car, it also gave us the gift of experimenting with public transportation, like trains, subways, buses, even a tram. Living in Holliston, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston we don’t get access to a lot of that type of full on public transportation so it’s wonderful fun for them, and me too! More cool memories for them! Yay Mommy Points!!! 😉

Resourcefulness is what I’m unpacking from my summer to use this autumn. What are you unpacking from your summer?

Great big hugs,




Dearest ButterflyMoms,

Yesterday we started speaking about inspiration and then the subject evolved into another AWARENESS lesson. There must be a lot of growth going on because the subject of AWARENESS is popping a lot here for my intuitional writing! 😉 Go with the flow!

So today’s blog is going to be short and sweet so that you have time to really SEE YOURSELF today. (DEEP BREATH) Truly SEEING YOURSELF will unlock all that MAGNIFICENT TREASURE you have inside of you! It is WAYYYYYYYYYY bettter than any lottery you could win, promise!

So today, close your eyes (after you finish reading this, of course 😉 ) and picture yourself in 20 years if you have followed your best and highest good paths in life. Where are you? Is there anyone around you? What is the future you like? Let her give you a hug, a big one. She LOVES YOU! She wants the best for you. She sees how you are making choices that bring you a lot of suffering. She has been through all that. SHE IS YOU. No one knows you better than she does. What name will you give her so that you can easily identify her energy in your life? Mine is TAWANDAH!!!!! 😉 Will you be open and listen to what she has to say to you? Give yourself that gift. You are completely SAFE with her. SHE WANTS THE BEST FOR YOU. What advice does she have for you? (DEEP BREATHS)

Take a few moments to be with her and see what she shows you. We see time as linear but it is not. You have deep, deep wisdom there at your fingertips from your TAWANDAH. She wants to share with you the same way you would want to share if your younger self showed up in your life asking for advice. Reap the rewards of deep wisdom. Swim in the wonderful feeling of being around her. Feel her hugs. Feel free to ask her whatever you like. You might want to keep paper handy in case you want to write. You will forget this wisdom over time even if you have the best intentions, writing will help you remember.

If you feel comfortable share the nuggets of truth and wisdom you find. Be open to whatever kind of experience you have. This is fun! You are safe!

Great big hugs,


PS Spread the love….

The Depths of a Mother’s Desperation….PART ONE

Hello Beautiful ButterflyMoms!

I’m humbled that when I wrote the last blog after not writing for two weeks, almost 400 people read it in just 2 days! WOW! THANK YOU for helping me get the message out to other ButterflyMoms. It feels WONDERFUL to be on this journey with you! Please keep spreading the word so that we can bring some answers to those who think there is no hope and have all but given up. I will include the link to today’s blog at the end of this entry so that you can easily share with others. MWAH! It’s cheaper than Hallmark and more precious than GOLD and you get to be the hope giver! YAY!

We’ve all gotten gifts, some big, some small, some meaningful, some useless ;), but has anyone ever given you a PERSON, a real, life person? As odd as it might sound initially, it has happened to me a few times in my life.

Chiang Rai

The first time I was 22 years old, had just graduated from Boston College and started my job working in Japan for the Japanese government in the JETT program. It was the Christmas holiday break and my dear friend Tracey and I were backpacking for a month in Thailand. It was at the end of our trip. We were in a remote part of Chiang Rai waiting for a bus back to Bangkok. The bus schedule had changed and we had a few hours to wait. We decided to just hang out and read in the sun by the bus stop which was pretty rural with beautiful trees and plants. (ahhhhhh, remember when we could just do that decide to randomly sit down and read, ahhhhh! – a time before children – for those of us still with little ones I wanted to give us all a “CALGONE” break 😉 ) We sat in the grass to read by some little kids who were playing near us. One thing led to another and before I knew it, I started playing with one of the kids. He was such a kind, happy child! After a while the boy’s mom and two other younger siblings joined us. The mom and children all had amazing energy! They were gentle, kind, honorable people. We did not speak the same language but we had a wonderful time doing the most basic thing, connecting with each other by simply smiling and “gesturing” to each other as we played simple fun games.

I stayed in one of these. There is no running water or electricity. When we asked where the bathroom was they responded, "Anywhere." Quite an adventure!

I could tell they had very little and it was almost time for my bus to leave so we walked over to the nearby store and I remember gesturing for her to get anything she wanted. I will never forget what happened next. She got milk for her baby and soap. I gestured that she could get more so the took another bar of soup. Wow, to me when I said “get more” I meant “Sweetie-YOU-HAVE-THREE-HUNGRY-BABIES-BUY-OUT-THE-PLACE!” To her, those two items were already probably more than she had ever received, more than she imagined someone would give her. It is in moments like this where an overwhelming feeling of being HUMBLE overtook me! Us with all our vast amounts of STUFF, our gobs of food, our mountains of possessions, our huge houses and fridges, and this wonderful family, starving! It all felt soooooo wrong. So unfair.  Even though this Mother was offered to get ANYTHING in that store, she picked two VERY BASIC necessity items, as she saw them. I could see that they were hungry so I gave her as much money as I had on me because sadly I could think of nothing else I could do. She was extremely grateful and we both cried and hugged.

A beautiful culture!

We went back outside to play. The gentle mom disappeared for a few minutes. After a while she came back with someone who spoke a little English. The “translator” told me that she would be honored if I would take her oldest son who was about 5 with me. WAIT. WHAT? I did not know what to say. As strange as it sounds, inside my brain I was actually thinking of HOW I could I bring this child with me into Japan, where I was working at the time. My friend Tracey helped me see that there was NO WAY that was even a remote possibility. I thanked the young mother and said I wish I couldn’t. She then looked down and thought for few moments. She slowly went to her second youngest child, a little girl who was about 2 or 3 and “offered” me her. My heart broke a little more. I could tell she was a kind mother who deeply loved her children and wanted better for them than she could provide. Even then, at 22, the pain/desperation/sadness in that mother’s eyes stays with me. I knew this was hell for her. I knew if she was asking that their circumstances must be dire. I had no way of helping other than the small monetary contribution I had made. I sadly apologized as I said I could not take her beloved second child either. Then when I thought things could not get any harder the mom looked over at her baby and started sobbing. She slowly approached me with her infant and held her up to me……Come on people! Are you kidding me?! Do people really live desperately? Do moms really need to make these kind of decisions? PLEASE NOTE. It is not about JUDGING HERE. It is about AWARENESS. Bringing awareness to a situation without judging brings us deep feelings. It is under these circumstances that our INTUITION is invited to come and GUIDE US.

(DEEP, SWEET BREATHS HERE PLEASE) (A COUPLE OF TIMES IF YOU WILL) It is important to remember in the telling of this true event that happened two decades ago in my life that there are still many lessons, probably more lessons then at the time because it was so overwhelming for me at 22 to feel so powerless to help other, especially a gentle mother and her children. One of the biggest lessons is that not only can we NOT “save” people but it is also not our “JOB” to do so. It’s not that “we can’t SAVE everyone” it’s that we cannot “SAVE” anyone.

As moms we tend to want to FIX everything for everyone. If you bring awareness to the situation you find that we have a society of children who have been so protected and coddled that they do not realize the value of what they have because they don’t understand what it is like to be hungry or cold or not get every toy they want. Many of our children a butterflies whose wings were not allowed to struggle against the cocoon as they emerged from it because the butterfly’s “family” could not bear to see “their” baby struggle. Not a guilt thing beautiful ButterflyMoms, just bring AWARENESS. There is NO “SHOULD”. We are in an age of human development where we are shifting from the LAND OF SHOULD to a LAND OF AWARENESS. It takes a little practice but once you get the hang of it you will see the amazing “coincidences” that fall in your lap dozens and dozens of times A DAY!!!!!! It’s fun! I’m doing it and that is HOW I’m attracting Oprah. It works! It’s free! It’s fun! I love sharing it so you and other ButterflyMoms can PLAY with me in this wonderful adventure we are on called LIFE – VIDA – VITA – VIE!

This is the end of Part 1 of this story. When I start writing I never know where it will take me. I did not realize this event in my life still had sooooo much “juice”. I’m glad I shared it because I still had a lot of guilt over it and if that mom ever knew that she was helping other moms by sharing her story, then I feel she would be really thrilled. Come back tomorrow when I will talk about the second time someone offered me a person. This time I did not say NO. (enter music TAH DAH DUH!!!) 😉

Great big hugs,


PS If you like what you read please post this on your FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, etc and email friends. In the noise of life we can all use a gentle reminder to connect to what is REAL and feels good! Here’s the magic link….Cut and Paste it to share pure fun with your friends:

Sasha and Ava.....ahhhhhhh!



Today we are featuring ButterflyMom Sasha Martin who played with her passion and started

Join the fun as she cooks and eats her way around the world, with her picky husband (Keith) and sweet baby girl (Ava). ♥ ♥
Mission: Her adventure: To eat her way around the world: 195 countries, 195 meals, 195 weeks.

CONNECTING AGAIN…(AND a call from THE Oprah Show!)

Now this is a Park!!!! Parque das Conchas - Lisboa, Portugal!


Have you missed ButterflyMoms? 😉  I’ve missed YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow! It seems like forever and at the same time like just yesterday. I stopped writing two weeks ago because I was spending so much time trying to get online. I had a really bad connection, EFFORTING all the way! It was taking time away from my kids, family, friends and vacation. Sometimes it took me more than 8 hours to download the content I had written with photos for ONE posting onto the ButterflyMoms site! It was very stressful and of course I took it mostly from MY sleeping time – when the kids were asleep. After a while I got a “little” cranky. Who wants to be cranky when they are surrounded by beauty, sun, history, good food and summer in Portugal?! No one, that’s who! 😉

So why am I writing now? Well great that you should ask! Check out how the universe works….Most of you know that when I started writing daily for ButterflyMoms it was like I put on HUGE antennas out into the world and immediately STUFF started SHIFTING! The biggest was that I got a call from an Oprah Show producer about being ON the show! (A big “ZOWIE” with cartwheels!!!!!!) That dream had laid dormant (cocooning) because of motherhood and life in general (you know the drill! ;)) While I was talking to the producer he went to the ButterflyMoms site and checked it out! I was soooo thrilled!!! I sent them what he requested (some more information and a headshot). He said he would pitch it to the other producers and if were good enough they’d be in touch. It’s the ‘ole “don’t call us, we’ll call you.” 😉 An amazing thing happened! Instead of worrying like I was culturally taught to do ;), I let go of the OUTCOME! (deep breath – really feel this) Just being asked was AMAZING! I basked in how cool it was and took BEING PRESENT all in! (That is a VERY important part of the recipe y’all! – You are not truly LIVING if you are not IN THE PRESENT! Living in the PAST is called REMINISING. Living in the FUTURE is called HOPING. Being in the NOW is called LIVING!)

Look up "Fernando Pessoa" on Wikepedia...Amazing Portuguese writer. Here is his statue. They sell Cuban cigars right next door! 😉

Energetically what was happening is that I was sending out wonderful energy and the results just kept pouring in…Next thing I know seven friends, who don’t know each other at all, sent me emails about an Oprah contest for people who want their OWN SHOW. I resisted at first but then it gets pretty CRAZY-OBVIOUS that this is definitely an OMEN when people just kept emailing me that “this is so you”! I decided to confront fear and go for it! But how? I asked friends for help and together we created a rockin’ video entry that got over 30,000 votes in about 11 days! Soooooooo many ButterflyMoms and Dads spread it to their friends, put up posters, took it work, posted it, and voted as many times as they could! We got into six publications including the Boston Globe and Middlesex News and a call from one of major news stations who wanted to do a story. It was simply AMAZING and HUMBLING! I had made plans to spend the summer in Portugal with my girls (as I had done as a child) and decided to go even though I had not heard back from the contest – they were supposed to have an answer by beginning of July…. always follow your heart 🙂

Always follow your heart, huh? Ok, that is all cool and dandy but the heart also gets restless! When I think about all the time I spent on “boyfriends” over the years, morphing into who they wanted me to be so that I would be loved! Let’s just say I wish I had learned my lesson FASTER! 😉 Everything takes its time. Sometimes we try to force things to happen quicker but just like with growing a veggie garden or making a baby, everything has its “GERMINATION” time. 😉 I was again reminded to “let go” and “trust”. Like many others, that is not exactly the message I picked up from my childhood. It is a very important one though, very important! If you are focusing on what you don’t have, more of that will come to you. It’s actually more like, the more you focus on something, the more you only SEE THAT and the “stuff” that you DO WANT virtually disappears. “WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT, YOU SEE MORE OF”….Think about what you like/love/are passionate about. Keep a gratitude journal and write about those things in there. I promise you, you will start SEEING SHIFTS, BIG and small! Stay with it! Invite your friends to join in! Have fun with it!

Six o'clock tea anyone? In front of Castelo Sao Jorge (St. George's Castle)

EVERYTHING you do is leading you somewhere! EVERYTHING! Most of us want to do what we are SUPPOSED to do AND THEN “when”:

-the bills are paid

-I win the lottery

-I get promoted

-I get in shape

-I get a better job

-The kids are older

-The house is paid down

-I pay off my student loans

-I lose weight

-I pay off my credit cards

-I pay for the kids’ college

-I retire…..

THEN! YES! THEN I WILL be happy and do the things I love!……..Rrrrrrrrrrrrright, like that’s how it works! YOU KNOW that’s now how it works but that is how we think when we fall into that HOLE of DESPAIR, mostly seeing the “empty” of our lives and not the “FULLNESS”! See your passions! Talk about them! Dream about them! Write about them! Seek them out and you will see them EVERYWHERE!!!!!

Weeks go by………(tick tock tick tock) Ok, so I was getting restless. I LOVE being here in Portugal and was having (and am having) a GREAT time! It’s just that I wanted to know about the OWN SHOW contest. The expectation was that we would hear by early June. There had been no further announcements and I just wanted to know either way if I was one of the top 40. Again I decided to LET IT GO. Just TRUST that whatever answer would come would come in the right time and that IN THE NOW I would concentrate on TRULY BEING HERE! SOAKING IT ALL IN! I’m on a budget here but I’m having wonderful fun just seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing, feeling the TOTAL EXPERIENCE of BEING in PORTUGAL! The time I stopped writing here was about re-connecting with that!

Well, two days ago I got a call from my studly husband Doug saying that THE OPRAH SHOW had called again! I had put it out of my mind so it totally caught me off guard. The same producer who had called a couple of months ago called again and asked me to send him a new video of the letter I had sent in describing an Oprah episode that had GREATLY helped me from giving up on life when my baby girl Sophia suddenly died in my arms. Each time I tell the story about the show I still cry and get goose bumps. It was VERY powerful show! The producer also said….(drum roll) that Oprah will be watching the clip herself!!!! WOW! NO PRESSURE PEOPLE! He apologized that he needed it by the next day but that he would be editing it. I just needed to send him footage. “PSHAHHHH!!! Not a problem I said hanging up.”

Almost immediately things started going “not as I expected/wished”. It was sooooo much stuff going “wrong” that my (very Catholic) aunt was asking the sky if there was a witch up there. “I certainly hope so,” I responded “because we need all the help we can get!” 😉 The biggest obstacle was the internet connection. My connection was VERY weak and to download each video was going to take almost 9 hours! YIKES! The pressure was building! At first I EFFORTED BIG TIME, but at some point I just LET IT GO, not with frustration but with knowing that I had done the best I could and that my BEST AND HIGHEST GOOD was on its way!


The solution came in the form of a neighbor who heard from another neighbor, who heard from another neighbor who heard from his wife that “D. Olga’s-niece-who-is-visiting-from-America” was having trouble connecting to the internet! IT TAKES A VILLAGE!!! YES IT DOES! The simple solution was that he gave me his security code and I now have a FABULOUS internet connection! With the new connection I was able to send the biggest file in 14 minutes, instead of 9 hours and I can also download my ButterflyMoms blog faster too which means I can write again! YAY!!!!!!!!

I know I wrote a lot today but there are soooo many lessons popping up! Savor your lessons. Most of us get mad at ours but see what happens when you BEFRIEND YOUR LESSONS! They are here to SERVE YOU!

Great big hugs,


PS Oh and the producer also told me that for the Oprah contest they have not picked their final 40 yet. Practice saying this more in your life: “If it serves my best and highest good, then it will happen at the perfect time.” :)!

PPS If you like what you read:

1. Post it on your FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.

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