This week’s housekeeping issues will be at the end…in honor of our beloved Mandy Heliotis, our shooting star!
Today my heart has been once again shattered into a thousand pieces. I ask that as you enter today’s blog you take eight super-deep BREATHS! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 aaaaaand………..8! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Breathing helps you move through the pain of things. It helps you process and stay connected to the meaning instead of just the pain.
On Wednesday morning the phone begin to ring at 3am…at first the news and our state of mind was foggy. There had been a horrific car crash, Mandy, our beloved niece had been badly hurt and had been airlifted. We stopped breathing. We began praying/begging that she be fine to any gods that were listening. A little while later the words you would give anything not to hear…She is dead 🙁 Our beautiful beloved 26 year old niece was ripped out of her life in an instant by a drunk driver who hit them head on. Mandy lived a lot in her short life but she had sooooooooooooo much more living left to do! It seems almost too much to bear. Our hearts feel like they have shattered. To be honest I’m having a hard time deciding to write in the present or past tense and that hurts. I don’t want to use words like SHE WAS. I want to say SHE IS!!!!
Tears blind me, breath escapes me, my chest tightens, groans come from deep inside. I feel like I want to throw up much of the time now. Thinking about it is sometime too painful. I think about her. I replay Mandy’s last moments. I wish you could have been there to change the outcome. I wish you could have stopped it. I think about her friend who was driving and only got a broken leg. I pray that she does not blame herself. I pray that she is eventually able to heal this event in her life…seems like such a colossal request right now. I think about the last time we saw each other , Mandy and I. I think about the last time we spoke. I feel in awe of the fact that her photo with Sophia was in the News Center 5 piece that Susan Wornick did for ABC. To see it go to www.butterflymoms.com and check out the WATCH section. I spoke to her about it about a week ago. Mandy said she loved it!
Throbbing heartache rips through Mandy’s immediate family, through our families into our extended families and friends. Everyone feels the loss. If you ever met Mandy you would know why. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Beautiful Mandy! She IS AUTHENTIC and REAL. Mandy had an eye (and a hand) for art and photography. She IS KIND. Even out of her body SHE IS STILL ALL ABOUT LOVE! Mandy honored both the dark and the light sides of herself and at SUCH a young age brought incredible amounts of beauty into the world. When someone does that, you miss them even more. ;( I feel like the world got a little dimmer when her soul left planet earth. I am certainly not the only one!
Grief is such a powerful thing. It can cut you at the knees. It affects us on every level if we let it. The parts we cut off from the grief are the parts that will eventually give us or biggest pain. I have learned with Sophia’s death that it all comes in waves…Sometimes I cannot bear living another moment and other times I just feel the love and gratitude for having been loved and had the honor of loving such a magnificent soul! Mandy, sweetie, you are a MAGNIFICENT SOUL! We miss you already!
I am deeply grateful and deeply humble by all the outpouring of LOVE LOVE LOVE from those of you who sent their condolences! Thank you for reaching out. In lieu of flowers her beloved mom, dad and sisters ask that in lieu of flowers you give a donation in Mandy Heliotis’ name to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving).
Great big hugs,
PS Here are this week’s important housekeeping issues….
*Thank you to everyone who came last night to the ButterflyMoms Manifestation Class. A special thank you to the beautiful Kerri Miller, the beautiful Denise Gidopoulos, the beautiful Kären Humphrey, the beautiful Gaynor Greenberg, the beautiful Jennifer Burgett and the beautiful Susan Carlson who came to the workshop and helped me deal with my grief by being present with that energy and allowing it to move wherever it needed to go. If you feel stuck or like you want to move forward but keep hitting ROADBLOCKS then come next week to our spectacular workshop. We make it at 8pm so you can put your kids to bed or get out of work with plenty of time to show up. Everyone says they’re learning the tools they can use to start moving towards her heart’s desire! 🙂 The group has asked that we meet again so I’m extending this invitation to you. We’re meeting next Thursday, June 16th, 8pm at 783 Washington St, Holliston. Easy to get to on Route 16 and plenty of FREE parking in back. Cost is only $25 at the door (you still need to pre-register because space is limited) or just $20 if you drop off a check or pay through Paypal… http://bit.ly/mS7c70 . It’s a simple first step…so grab on to it! J
*My computer’s motherboard is still in Wisconsin getting fixed…BREATHE. Sometimes in life things take longer that you expected/wanted but letting go is the best way. I‘ve been without access to my files in almost 3 months and I am just observing and letting go, ESPECIALLY when I feel the Land of Should creep in!!!! 😉
*The www.butterflymoms.com website is still a work in progress. Again, thank you for bearing with me. For right now it is what it is. ;)…Gentle reminder again to SURRENDER! 😉
One book sold this week to the lovely Kat Malone. Thanks beautiful Kat! The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE…
San Bruno 1
North Easton 1
South Grafton 1
Lee’s Summit 1
Stony Brook 1
Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2
Wien, Austria 2
Dublin, Ireland 1
Rome, Italy 3
Santa Maria (Azores/Açores) 1
*To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U
*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!