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Be FULL OF YOURSELF! … And Celebrating Sophia’s 11th BIRTHDAY

sophiaCoach Me Maria and Butterfly Moms Fans,

It has been a very long time since I’ve written a blog. Today is a very special occasion though because it would have been our Sophia’s 11th birthday. For the last ten years since her death she has been an absolute inspiration to me in so many ways. The biggest misunderstanding I see is that people think I don’t want to talk about her. At least for me, just because her body is gone does not mean the relationship is over. I am still Sophia’s mama. I still miss touching and holding her. That is where my heart breaks the most… not being able to see, hold, hear, touch and smell her.

Many of you know I’ve been working on my book for about ten years now and finally it is done, both with words and graphics, and is now being edited. Sophia has been my muse for the my life’s research that is contained in the book. The goal of the book is to reduce human suffering. Pain is a part of the human experience but suffering is not. I want to live as fully as I can, literally FULL OF MYSELF so I can access my own unique spiritual DNA. I want Sophia and my other children to be proud of their mama, like I am so very proud of mine.The book is soooo close to being done but my goal of having it done by today fell short and it broke my heart because I felt like I had failed to honor her.

At my Master Mind group this week I opened up and shared about this birthday and how sad I felt. It helped release some of blocked, heavy energy. That entire day I was present in what I was feeling in each moment. When I noticed a heaviness I created flow points from any end points I encountered.

Angel in the sky 4

Later that day I was walking with my beautiful daughter Olivia, who just turned the big ten, and our four doggies. I looked up into the sky and saw something I had never seen, a vertical rainbow! It was absolutely amazing so I started yelling at the people around us to look up. Everyone started looking up and “oohhhing” and “ahhhing”.

 

 

Angel in the sky 5 Rainbow

 

Then we noticed another rainbow that was also incredibly unusual because it was in the form of a circle! I had never seen a rainbow do that! I love, love, love rainbows so this was a special treat for me! I started feeling happier and more connected to Soph without the “ickie”, just the flow of love.

 

 

As Olivia and I walked up to the driveway of our house I looked up and noticed something in the clouds so amazing that I gasped as I dropped the dog leashes and bag of poop onto the cement. As clear as clear could be, I saw an angel. Usually clouds move and reshape into something else but not this one! This was a full on angel.

I took several photos because I thought people would never believe this so I’m including them here for you to see! Funny thing is when I look back at the rainbow photos I can see wings and an angel in those too! Look at the images yourself. Write below in the comment section what you see. I would really love to hear from you.

 

Angel in the sky over our house

Angel in the sky 3Angel in the skyAngel in the sky 1

I believe it was Sophia reaching out to me! She did something else that knocked our socks off last year too. I know we could be making all this up but our whole lives are made up. We make it all up as we go along!

I just wanted to share this post with you to remind you that the tough times a temporary. GO WITH THE FLOW has never been more important… just not someone else’s flow… your own unique, magnificent flow! My book will come out and when it does it will be at the perfect time for when it needs to! It’s all connected to divine timing.

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
🙂

PS It would mean the world to me for you to sing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOPHIA in whatever way inspires you.

sophiaHappy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday Dear Sophiaaaaaaaaaa-licious!
Happy Birthday to you!

And because in our house we sing Happy Birthday in AT LEAST two languages, here it is in Portuguese…
Parabéns a você,
Nesta data querida.
Muitas felicidades,
Muitos anos de vida.

Hoje é dia de festa,
Cantam as nossas almas.
Para a menina Sophiaaaaaa,
Uma salva de palmas.

It’s a magnificent way to send more love into the world!

 

Mandy Heliotis and Sophia Schmidt… NOW WHAT?!

Dearest Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

Here are this week’s important housekeeping issues….

*Last night we had yet another ButterflyMoms Manifestation Class. We fed a lot of souls. 🙂 Because it feels so good we’re having another one. We’re meeting next Thursday, June 23th, 8pm at 783 Washington St, Holliston. Easy to get to on Rt 16 & FREE parking in back. Only $25 at the door (still let me know you’re coming because space is limited) or just $20 if you drop off a check or pay through Paypal… http://bit.ly/mS7c70 . It’s a simple first step to get back to the happy you…so grab on to it! 🙂

*My computer and website stuff was put on hold due to our Mandy’s passing. My intention is to address it this week so I will be better at answering your emails. 😉  For right now it is what it is. ;)…My gentle reminder again to SURRENDER! continues 😉

*We sold zero MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE books last week. If it has been your intention to buy a book please do so this week by clicking here… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U. A list of where in the world books have been bought by other ButterflyMoms is at the end of this blog. It’s a pretty spectacular list of places. When you buy a book yours is added too!

Now onto the blog…

All the initial “funeral” attention is over. Although it has only been a little over a week I have found that this is one of the hardest phases of mourning. My world has totally shifted again HOWEVER most everyone else is still living their lives like before. They have moved on. They have enough OTHER THINGS in their life to “forget”, those closest to Mandy don’t have that luxury. Wherever we go we see her face. At random moments we remember her smell. We feel her around us but oftentimes feel helpless to connect. How do you communicate with someone who no longer has form?

Joy Dorsey and Rhys Thomas...Two Very Talented Healers and Teachers!

I am in my second year of school for this at the Rhys Thomas Energy Medicine School. I am much better than I used to be at connecting to things that have no form but still realize how very, very little I actually know. For me, specifically, I have a double dose of AWARENESS right now because in just a few days, on June 22, it will be our Sophia’s 5th Anniversary of her passing. It sounds cliché but I KNOW they are together. I mean I know that Sophia helped Mandy with her transition. As I write this there is a part of me that is FLASHING a big red WARNING light saying, “Don’t talk about this! What are people going to think.” Well, in my experience with everything I have studied and gone through, for me this is all true. I think the more people know about this the more we can get on with the business of enjoying the precious little time we have here in this lifetime…so I continue…

When we first got the call last week it was to say that Mandy had been hurt in a car accident and that it was dire. At that point she was already dead but we did not know that. I immediately sat on my couch and attempted to “tune in” to Mandy’s energy field. We do this in class for practice but this was the real deal. I desperately wanted information. In class I find myself blocking and even belittling my abilities because I see how much better others are at it than I am.  (Sidenote: Oftentimes we are our own worst enemies. We are our own BULLIES stomping any possibility of success. Notice when your BULLY comes out and how it affects your life.)

When I tuned in I got that there was something wrong with her wrists. I got that she was surrounded by lots of angels with lots of blue in the background like the magical ceiling at Notre Dame Basilica in Montreal. I got that she could not breathe. I was so IN THE MOMENT that I asked Sophia to go to her and see if she could see anything.

Beautiful Mandy 🙂

It felt like Sophia had been with me all along – I just had not really noticed but when I brought awareness to it she was right there. Instantly I saw Sophia was in the scene “sitting” IN Mandy’s lap. Sophia  kept evaporating or turning into something other than form. I could tell she was trying to hang on but there was nothing to hang out to. There was no emotion with this just information. It was all very matter-of-fact.  That is all I got. I went back to Doug who was at the kitchen table desperately trying to call someone – anyone – to get more information about our beloved Mandy. I described what I saw and said, “I got nothing.”

Haunting photo I took of Mandy and Sophia...So Beautiful!

It was only later that I found out that Mandy had broken both wrists in the crash and she died pretty instantly. We think she broke her neck which would have caused her to stop breathing. Mandy was already dead by the time I tried to connect with her so the message I got was there was nothing there was accurate. The fact that in my moment of grief that I reached out to Sophia and got such a simple, yet powerful, message, gives me much solace.

This has been a very rough week but also a very POWERFUL one. I want to take from Mandy’s death not the cliché reminder TO ENJOY each moment we are given. We have heard that so many times that maybe we will do that for a few minutes/hours /days but after a while we DEFAULT to the “BUSY”. We don’t like to stay in the uncomfortable. We like to FILL in the gaps of silence with STUFF, THINGS, GADGETS, CALLS, TELEVISION, BUSY WORK, IPADS, IPODS, etc., so we don’t have to be. These pretty shiny things are wonderful in moderation but we have let them FILL OUR EXISTENCE. We don’t know where they begin and we end.

Jamie and Mialotta...two cousins making new memories

The gifts that Mandy has brought me this week are many. I got to CONNECT with her friends and even members from my family that I did not bother to connect with on a deep basis because life was just too busy. Well, DEATH blows the lid off of BUSY!!!!!

Aunt Mimi, Aunt Nini and James

I got to meet and savor some of her beloved friends including James, Danny and Billie. I got to connect with my other niece, beautiful Nicole, and nephew, beautiful Daniel who are much younger and who were in that cloud of grief that many adults don’t understand. It is a hard place for kids to be. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m a bit of an “expert” on kids and grief so I let my instinct take over. I showed them that I REALLY saw them through a few things we did together. I could see the difference it made for them and it surprisingly made a HUGE difference for me! WHAT A GIFT!!! Now we have pledged to write letters to each other for a whole year. No emails or boxes, just a simple letter written between us. Mialotta and I have already sent the first one. It contained in the letter fun math problems (because Daniel is working on his math skills), stickers and some of the funnier Sunday comics…funny I had not read the Sunday comics in years…I used to LOVE it!!! Yes, another simple gift…AND there were many other gifts…

I got to see my own daughter process some of her grief from her baby sister’s death and that of her beloved artistic cousin. “Whose going to give me hugs and kisses like Mandy does?,” she said sobbing. I got the gift of meeting Mandy’s beloved high school art teacher who is starting a scholarship in Mandy’s memory. 🙂 Mandy would have LOVED that!!! You could easy tell she loved Mandy very much! Amy spoke about how Mandy loved her art and often came back to mentor other kids. I invited Amy to read ButterflyMoms this week. I hope she is reading it right now! 😉

Stan shared his poetry, his memories and his heart

I got the gift of connection with a long-time friend of the family Stan from Manhattan who is a dearheart and whom I’ve gotten to know over the years through FB. I got to connect with some of the family’s old friends/neighbors especially Tonya and Lou who taught me the gift of being present with someone’s grief, with just showing up and holding the space for a bereaved mother to simply cry her heart out for the child she will never again hold. I got the gift of deeply connecting with my brothers-in-law, a studly group of gentlemen with hearts the size of the Empire State Building. I got the gift of connecting to Valerie, Carrie and Evelyn who showed what true friendship and support is all about. I got the gift of connecting with my Sophia on a whole new level that I will continue to explore. There are many, many, many other gifts that I received and even more that I will receive from our beautiful Mandy.

Photo of Mialotta taken by Mandy Heliotis

I cannot change her death but I can live my life in a way that honors what she stood for, all that courage to be authentic, all that passion, all that love, all that vision, all that creativity, all that connection, all that presence. I can increase my AWARENESS of when she is around and how she still influences the world through the magnificence that we call MANDY!

One of Mandy's paintings...sooo much talent!

I invite you to live your life in the present moment and see all the wonderful gifts around you!!! BREATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 🙂 FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL! LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOVE!!!!

Great big hugs,

Maariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE…

UNITED STATES

California

Anaheim 1

Fullerton 1

Sacramento 1

San Bruno 1

Connecticut

Greenwich 1

Yalesville 1

Kentucky

Louisville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Holliston 11

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

Sherborn 1

South Grafton 1

Watertown 1

Worcester 3

Missouri

Lee’s Summit 1

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

Vermont

Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

JAPAN

Tokyo  1

PORTUGAL

Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1

*To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

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WHO KNEW MY DREAM WOULD WEIGH 308 POUNDS?!

Have Tea With Your Fellow ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

Good Morning Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

It feels soooooooo awesome to connect with you again today! When I sit down to write I literally do it as if we were sitting here together having an iced or hot tea (depending on your mood and location ;). It is another way I practice connecting to the universal energy that we all come from. It feels AMAZING, FAMILIAR, NURTURING, JOY-FULL, and even FUN! Thank you for your part in this wonderful formula we call ButterflyMoms!

A GROWING GREETING…

If you have ever tried yoga (and I highly, highly, highly suggest that you do!!!) many teachers begin and end their class with the word “NAMASTE”. It is a Sanskrit word used as a greeting, but one that calls your BEST and HIGHEST good, as well as the BEST and HIGHEST good of the other person! Each time you greet someone you are saying, the God/Goddess/Love energy in me sees the God/Goddess/Love energy in you! “NAMASTE” calls you each back to your core essence, back into your zone! Your zone is not my zone BUT when each of us is in alignment we have true peace. In this space there is only LOVE. TRUE LOVE, not those mushy Hollywood myths that people love to mirror. 😉

TRY THIS…

For the next week either out loud or to yourself when you see someone instead of just saying “HEY” , “HI”, “HOW’S IT GOIN”, WHAT’S SHAKIN’ or HOW’S IT HANGIN’, how about you take a deep breath and say NAMASTE, even if it’s only in your mind. Think of it as a sweet, sweet alignment for your soul….it’s free and fun and is also a deep, magical gift to the others you come across in your day. 😉

Tuesday was my husband Doug’s last chemotherapy appointment for this round. He has an ornery auto-immune disease called vasculitis that has been getting our attention for the last two years. So

Give Your Ickies to the Rocks

while the last round of snow storms hit we were at Mass General in Boston getting his infusion. At the very same time my books were finally delivered. It was 308 pounds of pure DREAM  REALIZATION and its name is called Mom Entrepreneur Extraordinaire! WOW! WOW! WOW! Dream Realization Feels Good y’all!!!!! REAL GOOD!!! 😉 The book did not come in the way I thought it would but I was open to the way it did. The result is that this New Year I got a break from putting down “WRITE A BOOK” as my new year’s resolution!!! 😉 (only took 20 years!!! 😉

For over 20 years I have dreamt about these 308 pounds. Imagined in my mind what it would feel like to finally publish my first book. I pictured what it would be like to hold it, smell it, turn the pages and autograph them for people. In those 20 years I’ve also taken lots and lots of shit and ridicule from those who did not believe in my dream. You may find it surprising that most of those people were not my enemies but actually close family and friends. Many of them love/like me but I was messing with their comfort zone of what was APPROPRIATE DREAMING and what was not. In their minds they were doing for my own good….to keep me safe ;). GENTLE REMINDER TO BREATHE HERE, LOOSEN YOUR SHOULDERS and MOVE YOUR JAW AROUND….AHHHHHHHHH! (Remember from last week’s blog to give your “ickies” to the rocks so that you can clearly see the message for you without all the crap-ola!!!! 😉

(SIDENOTE: Notice that I wrote “taken lots and lots of shit and ridicule from”. What that means to me is that I actually did let it affect me. To say it did not and that I was fully focused is a lie. I let it do the opposite of NAMASTE. I let myself (many, many, many times) fall back into the “I’m not as good as ____________________” (fill in whomever fits), especially if my ______________ (boyfriend/girlfriend/mother/cousin/grandfather/sister/uncle/dad/brother/aunt/teacher-whoever it is for you) says so. One of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes is “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Well, I gave my consent because I did not know that I was enough. I grew up in a VERY Portuguese home/community where acceptance is paramount.  I cannot tell you how many times I heard, “what are the neighbors going to think” At times I thought that I needed their approval in some way to feel whole, some days I still do, it’s a habit that is growing weaker ;).

Our Journey on Earth is about Learning How to FLY!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhh, my ButterflyMoms, we are our own prison guards!!! Really take this in. On “Amazing Home Makeover” (the show on ABC) there was a beautiful young man who was in college when his sister and mother died so instead of having his niece and nephews go into foster homes he quit school to take care of them. Even against huge odds he believes, “THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN STOP YOU IS YOU!” Take it in, really take that in. What does this mean for you?  I invite you to fire your guard or at the very least start giving him/her some well-deserved TIME OFF!!!) He/She has served his/her purpose and now they can also be set free! SET YOURSELF FREE!!!!!!

When you don’t have a lot of support, you have the opportunity to create your own support systems that work for you. That is what the ButterflyMoms community is to me. It is a wonderful support system for those who want to FLY!!!!!! Tap into this support and create other like systems throughout your life that allow your soul to grow and expand. It is fun to explore the possibilities. The more you question your “SHOULDs” the more you will EXPAND your JOY!

Great big honkin’ hugs to YOU!

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

ButterflyMoms founder…YAY!

PS  In continuing to follow my soul’s dreams I ask for your help to get me to my goal of selling at least 300 copies of “Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire” this year. So far I have only 11 orders…two from my mom ;)! If you feel inspired buy a book or two. I sign every book and wrap it with lots of love! You never know what magic comes to you when you create magic for others! To order now go to  http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

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