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Be FULL OF YOURSELF! … And Celebrating Sophia’s 11th BIRTHDAY

sophiaCoach Me Maria and Butterfly Moms Fans,

It has been a very long time since I’ve written a blog. Today is a very special occasion though because it would have been our Sophia’s 11th birthday. For the last ten years since her death she has been an absolute inspiration to me in so many ways. The biggest misunderstanding I see is that people think I don’t want to talk about her. At least for me, just because her body is gone does not mean the relationship is over. I am still Sophia’s mama. I still miss touching and holding her. That is where my heart breaks the most… not being able to see, hold, hear, touch and smell her.

Many of you know I’ve been working on my book for about ten years now and finally it is done, both with words and graphics, and is now being edited. Sophia has been my muse for the my life’s research that is contained in the book. The goal of the book is to reduce human suffering. Pain is a part of the human experience but suffering is not. I want to live as fully as I can, literally FULL OF MYSELF so I can access my own unique spiritual DNA. I want Sophia and my other children to be proud of their mama, like I am so very proud of mine.The book is soooo close to being done but my goal of having it done by today fell short and it broke my heart because I felt like I had failed to honor her.

At my Master Mind group this week I opened up and shared about this birthday and how sad I felt. It helped release some of blocked, heavy energy. That entire day I was present in what I was feeling in each moment. When I noticed a heaviness I created flow points from any end points I encountered.

Angel in the sky 4

Later that day I was walking with my beautiful daughter Olivia, who just turned the big ten, and our four doggies. I looked up into the sky and saw something I had never seen, a vertical rainbow! It was absolutely amazing so I started yelling at the people around us to look up. Everyone started looking up and “oohhhing” and “ahhhing”.

 

 

Angel in the sky 5 Rainbow

 

Then we noticed another rainbow that was also incredibly unusual because it was in the form of a circle! I had never seen a rainbow do that! I love, love, love rainbows so this was a special treat for me! I started feeling happier and more connected to Soph without the “ickie”, just the flow of love.

 

 

As Olivia and I walked up to the driveway of our house I looked up and noticed something in the clouds so amazing that I gasped as I dropped the dog leashes and bag of poop onto the cement. As clear as clear could be, I saw an angel. Usually clouds move and reshape into something else but not this one! This was a full on angel.

I took several photos because I thought people would never believe this so I’m including them here for you to see! Funny thing is when I look back at the rainbow photos I can see wings and an angel in those too! Look at the images yourself. Write below in the comment section what you see. I would really love to hear from you.

 

Angel in the sky over our house

Angel in the sky 3Angel in the skyAngel in the sky 1

I believe it was Sophia reaching out to me! She did something else that knocked our socks off last year too. I know we could be making all this up but our whole lives are made up. We make it all up as we go along!

I just wanted to share this post with you to remind you that the tough times a temporary. GO WITH THE FLOW has never been more important… just not someone else’s flow… your own unique, magnificent flow! My book will come out and when it does it will be at the perfect time for when it needs to! It’s all connected to divine timing.

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
🙂

PS It would mean the world to me for you to sing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOPHIA in whatever way inspires you.

sophiaHappy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday Dear Sophiaaaaaaaaaa-licious!
Happy Birthday to you!

And because in our house we sing Happy Birthday in AT LEAST two languages, here it is in Portuguese…
Parabéns a você,
Nesta data querida.
Muitas felicidades,
Muitos anos de vida.

Hoje é dia de festa,
Cantam as nossas almas.
Para a menina Sophiaaaaaa,
Uma salva de palmas.

It’s a magnificent way to send more love into the world!

 

What Will YOUR River or Tears Teach YOU?

Doug this morning getting his chemo treatment to kill his B-cells.

AS YOU ENTER TODAY’s BLOG TAKE A DEEP CLEANSING BREATH (IN…………HOLD…………OUT……..…WIGGLE YOUR TOESIES)….GROUND YOUR SELF…. FEEL HOW VERY GOOD IT FEELS TO FEEL…It’s all FEEDBACK TO GET YOU BACK TO YOUR JOY…. YOUR CHOICE Let’s begin!

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

Today is a different day, in terms of how I’m writing the blog. Today, instead of writing from my warm, cozy home, I’m writing from one of Mass General Hopsital’s off-sites, located right across from the Boston Garden….Today, my beautiful, beloved husband is getting another chemo treatment for his auto immune disease, vasculitis. He needs to get one every few months in order to stay alive. The bitch of it is that while these treatments are saving his life…for now…they are also destroying his body’s precious organs and systems. (BREATHE…more for me than for you.) Because of his illness he will need to get this for the rest of his life, but it’s also killing his immune system.

I feel scared. I let it wash over me. I go through waves of thought of “how to be” with this information. Sometimes I want to completely ignore it (which I can do VERY well, turns out). Sometimes I want to cry and cry and cry which I allowed myself yesterday with one of my friends who was wonderful at simply holding that space for me. What a gift to give someone, the space to simply let them get the emotions out while you bear witness. No judgement. No suggestions. Just holding the space. Feels soooooo good the recipient. Wish we could give gift certificates in it. They would “sell out”.

Last week in Boston while taking the kids to the New England Aquarium... FUN!!!

Where I am right now, as I sit next to him watching the liquid going into his veins, is at peace. It does not mean I don’t feel sad, but it does mean I am realizing, after all that energy release, that for RIGHT NOW he is safe. If I project into the future I am a MESS. I did that last year and it was a futile exercise in wasting energy. For right now, he is here. For right now, I am able to look into his eyes, kiss his lips, hug him, hold his hands. We have the gift of RIGHT NOW. All of us have this gift but most of us squander it worrying about what fears we can project into the future or something we wish we could change from the past. One gift that Doug’s illness has brought us is the gift of realizing one of life’s most precious gifts…the gift of BE-ING PRESENT, the gift of RIGHT NOW.

Doug, if you are reading this… this blog is dedicated to you and all the adventures we are having RIGHT NOW! These moments are PRICELESS! I am honored to be sharing my life with you. Truly honored. Thank you for helping me become a better person. 🙂 I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

P.S. Help me support my dream… It’s been TWENTY YEARS in the making!!!! Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire is the amazing wisdom of 21 entrepreneurial moms who are passing on their knowledge to those who don’t have time for beating around the bush! We all need to make money and live our lives well NOW. YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!! Please order it now and join the hundreds of happy readers before you who took the leap of faith in helping someone grow…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

WHAT IS BUTTERFLYMOMS?
ButterflyMoms is a community of people who realize they are souls first and human being second. They want to explore more about themselves, to find out what makes them happy and how they can lead a life of purpose. It is simply about FEEDING YOUR SOUL. Although it has the name “MOMS” in the title it is more about being nurturing to your own transformation, as the butterfly is to its own metamorphosis. This community is led by Maria Salomão-Schmidt whose transformation was ignited by the birth and death of her BELOVED thirteen month old daughter Sophia (Sophalicious), the original butterfly.

*Every Thursday Night we have a ButterflyMoms workshop at 783 Washington Street in Holliston, MA at 8pm that feeds your soul. They started after Maria manifested her dream…with the help of Sophia…to be a guest on THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW and every week since she had done the workshop on Thursday nights.

*Every Friday Morning, as a way of honoring Sophia’s soul, Maria gets up at 4:30am to write the weekly ButterflyMoms blog. Hundreds of people read it every week to feed their souls. Maria started writing the blog in 2009 and has written EVERY Friday since.

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? MORE WAYS TO FEED YOUR SOUL…

√  Next ButterflyMoms Workshops is February 2 at 8pm. Come learn to feed your magnificent soul!…783 Washington St, Holliston. Plenty of FREE & EASY PARKING in back. Only $25, or just $20 if pay through Paypal http://bit.ly/mS7c70 or drop off a check.

√  I have space for two  more coaching clients. If you are interested send me an email maria @butterflymoms.com

 √  Here is the magnificent ButteflyMoms interview on Nancy L. Cantor‘s Dream Factory Television Show… I hope you watch it and that it feeds your soul! ! http://vimeo.com/30095902

√  We sold ONE ENTREPRENEUR MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE book this past week in Holliston, MA to ! Please help me reach my goal of selling twenty-four more books this month.  If you have been thinking about starting a business or want to take your business to the next level this is a wonderful way to start. WAY cheaper than going back to school…and very helpful! To feed the soul of a friend buy them a copy by CLICKING HERE NOW… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U.  PLUS each book is personally (and lovingly) autographed.

THE BOOK… “Mom Entrepreneur Extraordinaire”
The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live, who bought our wonderful book, MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE… Buy one so you can put your city/town/country on the list like so many other beautiful ButterflyMoms have!

UNITED STATES
California
Anaheim 1
Fullerton 1
Sacramento 1
San Bruno 1
Connecticut
Cromwell 1

Greenwich 1
Yalesville 1
Florida
Fort Lauderdale 1

Georgia
Roswell 1
Kentucky
Louisville 1
MAINE

Biddeford 1

Maryland
Chestertown 1
Massachusetts
Ashland 3
Blackstone 2

Bolton 1
Canton 1

Framingham 1

Holliston 15 (One book sold this week in Holliston. Heather bought it for a friend. THANK YOU!
Hudson 4
Medway 3
Millis 1

Millbury 4
North Easton 1
Sherborn 1
South Grafton 1
Watertown 1
Westborough 1

Wrentham 1
Worcester 3
Wrentham 1
Missouri
Lee’s Summit 1
New York
Scarsdale 1
Stony Brook 1
Ohio
Dublin 1
Rhode Island
Newport 1
Vermont
Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2
AUSTRIA
Wien 2
IRELAND
Dublin, Ireland 1
ITALY
Rome, Italy 3
JAPAN
Tokyo  1
PORTUGAL
Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1
SCOTLAND  
Greenock 1
SPAIN
Madrid 1
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*To buy your copy Click now… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

 

REMEMBER…

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

*Share the ButterflyMoms blog with your beloved friends! Spread the love!

10 Years After We All Woke Up Into A Nightmare! (Shifting the Energy of the Horrors of 9-11)

Today we’re doing it a little differently. I’m doing the blog first and then all the amazing stuff that is going on. Let’s try this for a bit and see how it feels…

SERIOUS WARNING:

PLEASE NOTE

THAT TODAY’s BLOG HAS VERY

GRAPHIC PHOTOS IN IT…

REMEMBER TO KEEP BREATHING!

 

 

BOM DIA BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLYMOMS!

There is soooooooo much activity right now going on. The energy is shifting. Can you feel it? How about in the weather? In how you feel lately? In others around you? It is not in your head. Mercury has been in retrograde and it affects us, but beyond that, as a global community there is an event that shifted life just enough to send us in a different direction. I’m talking about the events of 9-11. This Sunday is the 10th anniversary and I don’t know about you, but for most of these things I mean to do something to mark the occasion. Usually it comes out very bland or I don’t know what to do and just end up sad or bottling my feelings. This year it feels different.

It’s different for me because for years and years they have shown the building on fire but never really the people, well this year I saw the photos of the people, who were in such dire straights that climbing out of the window of 100 story building and eventually jumping seemed like a better idea than what was going on inside. It’s easy at this point to STOP BREATHING. It’s easy to get all choked up and turn away. I invite you to stay with these words and notice what you are feeling. What is coming up? Use your breath. STAY PRESENT. NOTICE YOUR MIND TRYING TO PULL YOU. Ground yourself to the earth and feel what you are feeling. Wiggle your “toesies”. Let it pass. Notice it passing. We have a tendency to want to HANG ON, play the movie again and again but let go of that tendency. NOTICE, BREATHE, FEEL, RELEASE, BREATHE, NOTICE… Give yourself these amazing gifts of FEELING what you FEEL and then RELEASING it. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Do this as many times as you need. Stay with it. Breathe.

Last night at the 15th ButterflyMoms workshop we did a healing-grounding meditation and sent LOVE to all those who were on the building, in the planes and at home waiting to get word, especially the children who lost their parents and the parents who lost their children. (BREATHE) I feel compelled to do something special this year so I have organized a HEALING SHARE which means that if you would like to come get a FREE HEALING (like Massage, Reiki, Full Spectrum Healing) there will be a number of volunteers there who are giving of their time in honor of shifting all the ICKY ENERGY of 9-11 and turning it into HEALING for our communities. Just bring something for the Holliston Food Pantry so that we can PAY IT FORWARD. So far we have people coming from four different States!  Pretty awesome!!!! Details are below. If you are a healer and would like to donate your time please contact me at maria @ butterflymoms.com. Breathe.

With all these feelings sometimes it helps look around for people who are AUTHENTIC. Why? Because authentic people having nothing to prove. They are just themselves, even if it goes against the grain. Being around them helps you get more in alignment with yourself. There is one woman I would love to introduce you to who has helped me grow in such amazing ways by SIMPLY WATCHING how she is in the world. Her name is Marianne Sage. She is delightful. When I first met her many years ago I did not know how to take her. She said she went mining for crystals in Arkansas and sang to them as she mined them. To be honest she seemed a “little flaky”, just like now I probably seem a “little flaky” to others too! 😉 Well over the years she just kept showing up in my life and I started to let my guard down. I’m soooooo thankful I did. Now that I do Reiki, crystals are a very important part of the process because it further MAGNIFIES THE ENERGY. You can do a more powerful healing if you are using them. Sage is an expert in them! She loves these crystals. She respects them. Last week she held one up and said to my children, “Do you know these are older than dinosaurs?” Their eyes got really big! (mine did too!) She said that crystals are between 300-500 million years old! UH HELLO! That is half a billion years and you are holding it in your hands!!!! Hearing her speak is incredibly humbling and powerful! It is the respect for Mother Earth that Sage carries in her soul! She exudes it! She carries her passion on her sleeve! It is amazing to witness…but you only get to see it if you have your walls down. Once or twice a year this grandmother mines these amazing crystals. She lives her passion by mining these incredible gifts while singing to them. (Sage has an amazing voice! She used to sing in England.) WOW! Not conventional but AUTHENTIC! In total alignment with her purpose! I’m sooo happy to let you know that if you want to meet Sage you can do so at our next ButterflyMoms workshop! Yay!

Here’s to living the most AUTHENTIC week you can! GROUND YOURSELF!!!!!

Big honkin’ hugs,

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

This week’s ButterflyMoms updates…

*Just finished our 15th week in a row of ButterflyMoms Workshops!!!!! We had a surprise guest from Scotland! Welcome Nancy Ross! It was simply magical to have you here! Such wisdom, presence and candor! Thank you for crossing the pond!! Next week we are having a special guest, the amazing Marianne Sage. You can read more about her at her site… http://www.crystalsinger.webs.com/index.html She’ll share her passion and wisdom about how crystals are formed and how they work. She will bring lots of them with her. Some will even be for sale if you want to take one home. 🙂 Don’t miss out on all the fun…Come next Thurs, September 15th at 8pm!  783 Washington St, Holliston. Plenty of FREE & EASY PARKING in back. Only $25 or just $20 if pay through Paypal http://bit.ly/mS7c70

*The Oprah Show did re-runs and I saw my episode again. It was magical to see. Different audience though from the original one at 4pm and this one at 1am! 🙂 Still an incredible experience that I will always treasure.

*

We sold no ENTREPRENEUR MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE books this week but did get THE ENCHANTED FOX BOOKSTORE in Medway, MA to carry them. www.enchantedfox.net Thank you beautiful Rose!!! :)! See the cool list of all the countries and states where people have bought books at the end of this blog. To feed the soul of a friend buy them a copy by CLICKING HERE NOW… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

*Did two more Reiki/Full Spectrum healings so far this week and have another appointment today. To book a healing send an email with times you are available to maria @ butterflymoms.com!

SAVE THESE  DATES…FOR YOUR HEART !

√  SERIOUSLY WHIP OUT your calendar and write down Friday, Saturday and Sunday, October 21-23 you have a date with yourself in Vermont at the beautiful Lareau Farm Inn for the first ever ButterflyMoms Fall Retreat! Price is only $299 if you pay before October 2, after that it goes up to $365 which includes all the workshops, materials, most meals and lodging. There are a very limited number of spots so don’t be on the outside wishing you had booked it! We have gotten a number of requests for spots so reserve your spot now!! YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!! TALK ABOUT REJUVINATING YOUR SOUL!!! WOW! To book it send an email to maria @ butterflymoms.com! You will only regret NOT going!!!!!

√  On the 10th anniversary of 9-11 there will be a ButterflyMoms Healing Share on Sunday, September 11 from 4-6 pm at the offices above Brick House Realty. For more information please send me an email maria @ butterflymoms.com. This is a way to shift the energy of our planet from the horrors of 9-11 into healing and love. Bring a donation to the food pantry. Event is Free. Kids are welcome. (seriously how cool is this?!) Especially if you are a healer contact me! The more the merrier! 🙂 “A VERY special THANK YOU to the building owners, Paul Guidi and Tom Schermerhorn, for donating the space for this event.”

√  Do you like to eat yummy food? Well, I will be speaking at the DreamFactory Luncheon on Thursday, September 22 from 12:00-2:00pm. The topic is IGNITE YOUR BIGGEST DREAM! It will be held in Framingham at the delicious Bella Costa restaurant (147 Cochituate Rd). Lunch for 1st time attendees to the DreamFactory Community is only $25 (the lunch is VERY yummy!) If you have a business to promote and would like support around that this is a wonderful community to belong to…Space is limited so please sign up early to reserve your spot. It would be soooooooo awesome to see you there. Big hug coming your way when I see you so as Nike says, JUST DO IT! To sign up right now go to… http://www.cantorconsulting.com/Programs/tabid/298/CategoryID/68/Default.aspx

THE BOOK!!!!

The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE… Buy one so you can put your city/town/country on the list like so many other beautiful ButterflyMoms have!

UNITED STATES

California

Anaheim 1

Fullerton 1

Sacramento 1

San Bruno 1

Connecticut

Greenwich 1

Yalesville 1

Florida

Fort Lauderdale 1

Kentucky

Louisville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Bolton 1

Holliston 13

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

Sherborn 1

South Grafton 1

Watertown 1

Worcester 3

Wrentham

Missouri

Lee’s Summit 1

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

Vermont

Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

JAPAN

Tokyo  1

PORTUGAL

Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1

SCOTLAND     

Greenock

SPAIN

Madrid 1

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

REMEMBER…

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

*Share the ButterflyMoms blog with your beloved friends! Spread the love!  www.butterflymoms.com

NOW HIT the “Like” button below: because you can!   🙂

Millions of Tiny, Little CHOICES

Dearest Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

Here are this week’s important ButterflyMoms updates…

*Started our ButterflyMoms Chakra workshops and welcomed some new faces. Thank you Denise, Kerri, Jennifer, Mary, Christine and Susan and  to Karen, Raquel, Nancy, Ellen, Maria, Nancy, Karen, Karin, Hilde, Christine, Donna, Jess and Gaynor who were there in spirit! We’re meeting again next Thursday, July 21st, 8pm at 783 Washington St, Holliston. Plenty of FREE parking in back. Only $25 at the door or just $20 if you drop off a check or pay through Paypal… http://bit.ly/mS7c70 . 🙂  Come to feed your soul!

*For the 13 or 14th week my computer and website issues are still a work in progress. Please keep sharing the site to friends. I apologize for the hiccups.

*No new books sold for MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE this week. Third week of no book sales. All potential book buyers must be on vacation… I hope they come back soon! ;). Keep putting your dream out there too!

 

THIS WEEK's BUTTERLYMOMS WINNER... Kerri Miller holding her! prize!!

 

*We had our second ButterflyMoms blog contest and picked the winner last night at the ButterflyMoms workshop. (drum roll) Envelop please…And the winner is…. the beautiful KERRI  MILLER of Holliston. Kerri has attended all seven of the ButterflyMoms workshops!!!! YAY KERRI! I guess all the power of attraction exercises are paying off, eh?! 😉 Kerri Miller is a Holistic Health Practitioner and Feng Shui Master, coaching those seeking better health by integrating Nutritional Coaching, Energetic Healing,  Aromatherapy! More contests coming in the fall!

Now onto the ButterflyMoms blog…

We’ve all heard the saying, “Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans.” Well that is JUST how my morning went. In the middle of writing my blog I heard a H-U-G-E thump. I don’t know if you have ever heard the sound of a body falling…even from a very short distance. It is a very eerie sound. I heard this sound this morning…It was one of our exchange students who had an infection on her leg and did not let us know. She was in severe pain and did not sleep at night at all. She was exhausted and literally passed out downstairs in the kitchen at like 6am this morning! Long story short she is fine after six hours of an ambulance ride, working out insurance from another country, CAT scan, blood samples, injections of morphine, shots of novocain, draining her wound, saline drip and antibiotics, standing in line, booking a follow up appointment and getting prescriptions.

The day was filled with emotion! Being in the hospital not knowing if she was ok or not triggered when I was there five years ago when Sophia died. I have to admit that a lot of times when I’m with other people around, I SWALLOW MY FEELINGS about her death, about missing her. I don’t know if I think people don’t want to be “bothered” or “cannot handle it”. I also FEAR that if I start crying it will trigger THE ABYSS OF PAIN that parents who lose children KNOW in their cells. It is almost PALPABLE, this pain. I know it is not real but when you are IN IT, it feels like the most real things in the world.

Just like every day, my day was made up of millions of tiny, little choices. Today I chose to FEEL my grief when it came up and not BURY it somewhere inside. I cried in front of Laura, Doug, about four nurses, two doctors and one waitress. At least FOR TODAY I let go of what others would do or say. I FELT THE FEELING and THEN EXPRESSED IT…this time is through tears…other times is through HUGGING.

Hugging Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick

I HUG a lot because each time I do it gives me the opportunity to CONNECT with another soul and show my GRATITITUDE for being here. I have found in this lifetime that we as humans have a tendency of neglecting our bodies, a lot! Hugging allows people to GROUND themselves and BE PRESENT. Most people LOVE hugs because it brings them to their present moment. I have a suspicion that when people don’t like hugs it’s probably because it triggers a past moment instead of a present one.

Today I allowed myself to FEEL SAD and it did not send me to the ABYSS OF PAIN I so fear, at times. This journey has a lot to do with trust. The only power we have is CHOICE. When I try to CONTROL things Igive away the only power I’ve ever had, that is the power of CHOICE! When I’m in my present moment and feeling what comes up I CREATE an OPPORTUNITY to raise my quality of life by allowing ENERGY to NATURALLY FLOW. Blocking ENERGY leads to nothing but grief and pain.

I invite you to PLAY with whatever feelings come up for you…FEELINGS ARE WISDOM, it is how the universe communicates. When I FEAR MY FEELINGS I BLOCK MY FLOW OF ABUNDANCE! Just noticing when I do it….and the consequences I receive for FLOW or  LACK OF FLOW. CHOICE is the key. The key only exists in the PRESENT MOMENT. May you remember to savor your “NOW”!

Great big hugs,

Maariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE…

UNITED STATES

California

Anaheim 1

Fullerton 1

Sacramento 1

San Bruno 1

Connecticut

Greenwich 1

Yalesville 1

Florida

Fort Lauderdale 1

Kentucky

Louisville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Bolton 1

Holliston 12

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

Sherborn 1

South Grafton 1

Watertown 1

Worcester 3

Missouri

Lee’s Summit 1

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

Vermont

Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

JAPAN

Tokyo  1

PORTUGAL

Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1

*To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

Share the ButterflyMoms blog with your beloved friends! Spread the love!  www.butterflymoms.com

Mandy Heliotis and Sophia Schmidt… NOW WHAT?!

Dearest Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

Here are this week’s important housekeeping issues….

*Last night we had yet another ButterflyMoms Manifestation Class. We fed a lot of souls. 🙂 Because it feels so good we’re having another one. We’re meeting next Thursday, June 23th, 8pm at 783 Washington St, Holliston. Easy to get to on Rt 16 & FREE parking in back. Only $25 at the door (still let me know you’re coming because space is limited) or just $20 if you drop off a check or pay through Paypal… http://bit.ly/mS7c70 . It’s a simple first step to get back to the happy you…so grab on to it! 🙂

*My computer and website stuff was put on hold due to our Mandy’s passing. My intention is to address it this week so I will be better at answering your emails. 😉  For right now it is what it is. ;)…My gentle reminder again to SURRENDER! continues 😉

*We sold zero MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE books last week. If it has been your intention to buy a book please do so this week by clicking here… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U. A list of where in the world books have been bought by other ButterflyMoms is at the end of this blog. It’s a pretty spectacular list of places. When you buy a book yours is added too!

Now onto the blog…

All the initial “funeral” attention is over. Although it has only been a little over a week I have found that this is one of the hardest phases of mourning. My world has totally shifted again HOWEVER most everyone else is still living their lives like before. They have moved on. They have enough OTHER THINGS in their life to “forget”, those closest to Mandy don’t have that luxury. Wherever we go we see her face. At random moments we remember her smell. We feel her around us but oftentimes feel helpless to connect. How do you communicate with someone who no longer has form?

Joy Dorsey and Rhys Thomas...Two Very Talented Healers and Teachers!

I am in my second year of school for this at the Rhys Thomas Energy Medicine School. I am much better than I used to be at connecting to things that have no form but still realize how very, very little I actually know. For me, specifically, I have a double dose of AWARENESS right now because in just a few days, on June 22, it will be our Sophia’s 5th Anniversary of her passing. It sounds cliché but I KNOW they are together. I mean I know that Sophia helped Mandy with her transition. As I write this there is a part of me that is FLASHING a big red WARNING light saying, “Don’t talk about this! What are people going to think.” Well, in my experience with everything I have studied and gone through, for me this is all true. I think the more people know about this the more we can get on with the business of enjoying the precious little time we have here in this lifetime…so I continue…

When we first got the call last week it was to say that Mandy had been hurt in a car accident and that it was dire. At that point she was already dead but we did not know that. I immediately sat on my couch and attempted to “tune in” to Mandy’s energy field. We do this in class for practice but this was the real deal. I desperately wanted information. In class I find myself blocking and even belittling my abilities because I see how much better others are at it than I am.  (Sidenote: Oftentimes we are our own worst enemies. We are our own BULLIES stomping any possibility of success. Notice when your BULLY comes out and how it affects your life.)

When I tuned in I got that there was something wrong with her wrists. I got that she was surrounded by lots of angels with lots of blue in the background like the magical ceiling at Notre Dame Basilica in Montreal. I got that she could not breathe. I was so IN THE MOMENT that I asked Sophia to go to her and see if she could see anything.

Beautiful Mandy 🙂

It felt like Sophia had been with me all along – I just had not really noticed but when I brought awareness to it she was right there. Instantly I saw Sophia was in the scene “sitting” IN Mandy’s lap. Sophia  kept evaporating or turning into something other than form. I could tell she was trying to hang on but there was nothing to hang out to. There was no emotion with this just information. It was all very matter-of-fact.  That is all I got. I went back to Doug who was at the kitchen table desperately trying to call someone – anyone – to get more information about our beloved Mandy. I described what I saw and said, “I got nothing.”

Haunting photo I took of Mandy and Sophia...So Beautiful!

It was only later that I found out that Mandy had broken both wrists in the crash and she died pretty instantly. We think she broke her neck which would have caused her to stop breathing. Mandy was already dead by the time I tried to connect with her so the message I got was there was nothing there was accurate. The fact that in my moment of grief that I reached out to Sophia and got such a simple, yet powerful, message, gives me much solace.

This has been a very rough week but also a very POWERFUL one. I want to take from Mandy’s death not the cliché reminder TO ENJOY each moment we are given. We have heard that so many times that maybe we will do that for a few minutes/hours /days but after a while we DEFAULT to the “BUSY”. We don’t like to stay in the uncomfortable. We like to FILL in the gaps of silence with STUFF, THINGS, GADGETS, CALLS, TELEVISION, BUSY WORK, IPADS, IPODS, etc., so we don’t have to be. These pretty shiny things are wonderful in moderation but we have let them FILL OUR EXISTENCE. We don’t know where they begin and we end.

Jamie and Mialotta...two cousins making new memories

The gifts that Mandy has brought me this week are many. I got to CONNECT with her friends and even members from my family that I did not bother to connect with on a deep basis because life was just too busy. Well, DEATH blows the lid off of BUSY!!!!!

Aunt Mimi, Aunt Nini and James

I got to meet and savor some of her beloved friends including James, Danny and Billie. I got to connect with my other niece, beautiful Nicole, and nephew, beautiful Daniel who are much younger and who were in that cloud of grief that many adults don’t understand. It is a hard place for kids to be. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m a bit of an “expert” on kids and grief so I let my instinct take over. I showed them that I REALLY saw them through a few things we did together. I could see the difference it made for them and it surprisingly made a HUGE difference for me! WHAT A GIFT!!! Now we have pledged to write letters to each other for a whole year. No emails or boxes, just a simple letter written between us. Mialotta and I have already sent the first one. It contained in the letter fun math problems (because Daniel is working on his math skills), stickers and some of the funnier Sunday comics…funny I had not read the Sunday comics in years…I used to LOVE it!!! Yes, another simple gift…AND there were many other gifts…

I got to see my own daughter process some of her grief from her baby sister’s death and that of her beloved artistic cousin. “Whose going to give me hugs and kisses like Mandy does?,” she said sobbing. I got the gift of meeting Mandy’s beloved high school art teacher who is starting a scholarship in Mandy’s memory. 🙂 Mandy would have LOVED that!!! You could easy tell she loved Mandy very much! Amy spoke about how Mandy loved her art and often came back to mentor other kids. I invited Amy to read ButterflyMoms this week. I hope she is reading it right now! 😉

Stan shared his poetry, his memories and his heart

I got the gift of connection with a long-time friend of the family Stan from Manhattan who is a dearheart and whom I’ve gotten to know over the years through FB. I got to connect with some of the family’s old friends/neighbors especially Tonya and Lou who taught me the gift of being present with someone’s grief, with just showing up and holding the space for a bereaved mother to simply cry her heart out for the child she will never again hold. I got the gift of deeply connecting with my brothers-in-law, a studly group of gentlemen with hearts the size of the Empire State Building. I got the gift of connecting to Valerie, Carrie and Evelyn who showed what true friendship and support is all about. I got the gift of connecting with my Sophia on a whole new level that I will continue to explore. There are many, many, many other gifts that I received and even more that I will receive from our beautiful Mandy.

Photo of Mialotta taken by Mandy Heliotis

I cannot change her death but I can live my life in a way that honors what she stood for, all that courage to be authentic, all that passion, all that love, all that vision, all that creativity, all that connection, all that presence. I can increase my AWARENESS of when she is around and how she still influences the world through the magnificence that we call MANDY!

One of Mandy's paintings...sooo much talent!

I invite you to live your life in the present moment and see all the wonderful gifts around you!!! BREATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 🙂 FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL! LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOVE!!!!

Great big hugs,

Maariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE…

UNITED STATES

California

Anaheim 1

Fullerton 1

Sacramento 1

San Bruno 1

Connecticut

Greenwich 1

Yalesville 1

Kentucky

Louisville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Holliston 11

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

Sherborn 1

South Grafton 1

Watertown 1

Worcester 3

Missouri

Lee’s Summit 1

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

Vermont

Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

JAPAN

Tokyo  1

PORTUGAL

Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1

*To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

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SHATTERED HEARTS…In Memory of our Beloved Mandy Heliotis!

Dearest Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

This week’s housekeeping issues will be at the end…in honor of our beloved Mandy Heliotis, our shooting star!

Today my heart has been once again shattered into a thousand pieces. I ask that as you enter today’s blog you take eight super-deep BREATHS! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 aaaaaand………..8! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Breathing helps you move through the pain of things. It helps you process and stay connected to the meaning instead of just the pain.

On Wednesday morning the phone begin to ring at 3am…at first the news and our state of mind was foggy. There had been a horrific car crash, Mandy, our beloved niece had been badly hurt and had been airlifted. We stopped breathing. We began praying/begging that she be fine to any gods that were listening. A little while later the words you would give anything not to hear…She is dead 🙁 Our beautiful beloved 26 year old niece was ripped out of her life in an instant by a drunk driver who hit them head on. Mandy lived a lot in her short life but she had sooooooooooooo much more living left to do! It seems almost too much to bear. Our hearts feel like they have shattered. To be honest I’m having a hard time deciding to write in the present or past tense and that hurts. I don’t want to use words like SHE WAS. I want to say SHE IS!!!!

Mandy always attended the games of her younger cousins. They adore her!!!

Tears blind me, breath escapes me, my chest tightens, groans come from deep inside. I feel like I want to throw up much of the time now. Thinking about it is sometime too painful. I think about her. I replay Mandy’s last moments. I wish you could have been there to change the outcome. I wish you could have stopped it. I think about her friend who was driving and only got a broken leg. I pray that she does not blame herself. I pray that she is eventually able to heal this event in her life…seems like such a colossal request right now. I think about the last time we saw each other , Mandy and I. I think about the last time we spoke. I feel in awe of the fact that her photo with Sophia was in the News Center 5 piece that Susan Wornick did for ABC. To see it go to www.butterflymoms.com and check out the WATCH section. I spoke to her about it about a week ago. Mandy said she loved it!

Throbbing heartache rips through Mandy’s immediate family, through our families into our extended families and friends. Everyone feels the loss. If you ever met Mandy you would know why. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Beautiful Mandy! She IS AUTHENTIC and REAL. Mandy had an eye (and a hand) for art and photography. She IS KIND. Even out of her body SHE IS STILL ALL ABOUT LOVE! Mandy honored both the dark and the light sides of herself and at SUCH a young age brought incredible amounts of beauty into the world. When someone does that, you miss them even more. ;( I feel like the world got a little dimmer when her soul left planet earth. I am certainly not the only one!

Our beautiful Mandy

Grief is such a powerful thing. It can cut you at the knees. It affects us on every level if we let it. The parts we cut off from the grief are the parts that will eventually give us or biggest pain. I have learned with Sophia’s death that it all comes in waves…Sometimes I cannot bear living another moment and other times I just feel the love and gratitude for having been loved and had the honor of loving such a magnificent soul!  Mandy, sweetie, you are a MAGNIFICENT SOUL! We miss you already!

I am deeply grateful and deeply humble by all the outpouring of LOVE LOVE LOVE from those of you who sent their condolences! Thank you for reaching out. In lieu of flowers her beloved mom, dad and sisters ask that in lieu of flowers you give a donation in Mandy Heliotis’ name to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving).

Great big hugs,

Maariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS  Here are this week’s important housekeeping issues….

*Thank you to everyone who came last night to the ButterflyMoms Manifestation Class. A special thank you to the beautiful Kerri Miller, the beautiful Denise Gidopoulos, the beautiful Kären Humphrey, the beautiful Gaynor Greenberg, the beautiful Jennifer Burgett and the beautiful Susan Carlson who came to the workshop and helped me deal with my grief by being present with that energy and allowing it to move wherever it needed to go. If you feel stuck or like you want to move forward but keep hitting ROADBLOCKS then come next week to our spectacular workshop. We make it at 8pm so you can put your kids to bed or get out of work with plenty of time to show up. Everyone says they’re learning the tools they can use to start moving towards her heart’s desire! 🙂 The group has asked that we meet again so I’m extending this invitation to you. We’re meeting next Thursday, June 16th, 8pm at 783 Washington St, Holliston. Easy to get to on Route 16 and plenty of FREE parking in back. Cost is only $25 at the door (you still need to pre-register because space is limited) or just $20 if you drop off a check or pay through Paypal… http://bit.ly/mS7c70 . It’s a simple first step…so grab on to it! J

*My computer’s motherboard is still in Wisconsin getting fixed…BREATHE. Sometimes in life things take longer that you expected/wanted but letting go is the best way. I‘ve been without access to my files in almost 3 months and I am just observing and letting go, ESPECIALLY when I feel the Land of Should creep in!!!! 😉

*The www.butterflymoms.com website is still a work in progress. Again, thank you for bearing with me. For right now it is what it is. ;)…Gentle reminder again to SURRENDER! 😉

One book sold this week to the lovely Kat Malone. Thanks beautiful Kat! The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE…

UNITED STATES

California

Anaheim 1

Fullerton 1

Sacramento 1

San Bruno 1

Connecticut

Greenwich 1

Yalesville 1

Kentucky

Louisville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Holliston 11

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

Sherborn 1

South Grafton 1

Watertown 1

Worcester 3

Missouri

Lee’s Summit 1

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

Vermont

Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

JAPAN

Tokyo  1

PORTUGAL

Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1

*To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

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OPRAH UPDATE…One, Six and Thirteen!

 

 

Dearest Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

First, an Oprah update. The producer called again this past week and there was renewed hope that I would be on one of the last shows. He even had us get Sophia’s birth and death certificate to send to him just in case he could do something but that did not pan out. It is sad but at least I put myself out there and there are many more adventures I cannot even imagine coming my way! I’m excited! Thanks for coming on that journey with me!

Just finished a Goddess Weekend that was out of this world! It was at this retreat last year that I started writing ButterflyMoms on a consistent basis. So HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY BUTTERFLYMOMS!!!

The retreat got me thinking that we can all use a little time away to re-group and re-energize soooooo….(trumpets please)…… We are scheduling our first ButterflyMoms Retreat the weekend of October 22, 2011 in Mad River Vermont at a magical inn! We are still working on the details but space will be limited so if you are at all interested let me know. Carving out the time for our highest good is the best thing we can do for ourselves! :)!

I ask you to take a DEEP, DEEP BREATH with me as I enter into today’s blog…

Sophia and Me at her first birthday party

I never know how I’m going to be on May12 and June 22. Those are my Sophia’s birthday and deathday.

Sometimes sooooooooooooooooo much emotion wants to come out that I’m afraid those around me cannot handle it. Quite honestly most of my grieving has been alone…or SWALLOWING MY GRIEF because of this fear that others cannot handle it. Some of the work I’ve been doing at the Rhys Thomas Energy Medicine School, especially lately, has allowed me to open/release some of that energy, some very powerful stuff!

It’s hard, you know, to talk to others about the birth and death of your baby because if that other person REALLY went “THERE” with you it…well, I can’t say I honestly know what would happen, but it’s a lot of pain and in a way I guess I protect others from it because then I think I need to save them from it. I don’t know if I’m making sense to you but this is how I feel. There is soooo much magic that has come from her death but I would give it all up to have Sophia back in my arms. I don’t know if that is the PC thing to say but that is how MY HEART FEELS. I miss her sooooooooooooooooo much, our Sophalicious. I have had many, many people die in this lifetime, losing your baby is TOTALLY a different feeling. It is that type of grief that can knock the wind out of my sails and because I have so many responsibilities I cannot crawl into bed and stay there so I activate AUTOMATIC PILOT, put on a smiley face and go off into my day.  I KNOW I’m not the only one! Sometime I do it so automatically, in fact, that I don’t know that I’ve ACTIVATED it. I NOTICE that when I do this I take a VERY DEEP BREATH and then probably don’t exhale for the rest of the day. That is how I perceive it.

Grieving, for me, is this endless circle of wanting to get to HIGHER GROUND, to being as “ok” with Sophia’s death as I can be and then being hit by a Tsunami of pain, never knowing who you are going to be in front of when it happens.

At Sophia's Christening with Parents, Siblings and God Parents... Sooo much LOVE!

esterday would have been Sophia’s 6th birthday. She died at 13 months so it’s fitting that I’m writing this on Friday the 13th…. BTW, found out that Friday the 13th is a VERY POWERFUL GODDESS DAY…When  the Roman Catholic Church was trying to take over, they made it a bad luck day instead. I, for one am reclaiming the magic of Friday the 13th!!! Who’s with me? 😉

Today’s blog is just pouring out of me and I’m not stopping it. It has REALLY wanted to come out. The word that keeps coming up around yesterday is HUMBLE, HUMBLE, HUMBLE.

I was COMPLETELY blown away by the outpouring of LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that our family received yesterday!  We had more than 200 people (I can’t even believe I’m typing that number!!!) reach out via email, phone, text, voicemail, facebook and even a handful of  in person visits from dear friends who seemed to really be holding a space of LOVE for the day as I had requested on FB. This may surprise you writing how I do but I usually don’t open myself up to get the love BECAUSE TO OPEN TO THE LOVE, YOU HAVE TO BE OPEN TO THE PAIN. I was more vulnerable yesterday than I have been in a long time and that is why I was able to ASK for what I needed. I asked for others to hold us in LOVE…and I highly suggest it because it felt wonderful! Like floating, really if you let yourself go….there is a downside though that is ALSO important to know about…. WARNING: When that happens SHIT that has been in your life’s “basement” comes up….and baby that shit stinks! It was soooo powerful that it rocked my marriage. We had to work some things out. Key is to go with the flow, stay open, stay authentic and for goodness sakes KEEP MOVING FORWARD (but in a BEING PRESENT WAY)!!!

A very special thank you to all those who reached out yesterday. YOU deeply help me and my family heal a bit more. I was going to try to list everyone’s name here but if I forgot someone that would not do. I would invite you to go to my Facebook page and read all the magnificent comments from around the world. It is a magnificent example of SHEER LOVE!!! I am deeply grateful and deeply humble by that LOVE!

Great big hugs,

Maariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

Sophia and her Vovo

PS  A plethora of books sold this week! We FINALLY SOLD ONE IN PORTUGAL!!!! YAY! (Thank you Madrinha Juvenalia Figueiredo!) We also sold two in VERMONT (Thank you Evelyn and Kristen Meyer!) which is a new state for us and one in Watertown, MA (Thank you Christine McDade!) and another in CONNECTICUT (Thank you Sheryn MacMunn)! WHEW WHO!!!! I LOVE BEING ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU! SOOOO FUN!!!!

Here is where the books have gone to ButterflyMoms…

UNITED STATES

California

Fullerton 1

Sacramento 1

Connecticut

Greenwich 1

Yalesville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Holliston 10

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

Sherborn 1

South Grafton 1

Watertown 1

Worcester 3

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

Vermont

Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

JAPAN

Tokyo  1

PORTUGAL

Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1

Me at Hemingway's House in Key West

*To buy your copy for you and a friend click here now. Feed the LOVE in your life…. http://bit.ly/gRxe4U .

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday! 

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I’m Sorry I Simply Can’t FIT My FEELINGS in TODAY!

Good Morning Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

WOW! For the first time in a long time I feel overwhelmed by what to write. I like to write with whatever is coming and when my mind gets in the way with “helpful” suggestions I feel very disconnected. I’m simply noticing this, not judging it.

If I am to be honest with you and with myself, what is really coming up for me is my beautiful baby girl Sophia. ButterflyMoms has grown to about 700-1,000 readers a week on a consistent basis and some of you don’t really know why it started. My motivation for doing ButterflyMoms was the life and sudden death of our 13 month old daughter Sophia, MY ORIGINAL BUTTERFLY. Yesterday someone who did not know asked all the questions that you THOUGHT had finally had enough time to “accept”. Most times it is fine and even welcomed. Yesterday, however my emotions came out in a big way and I missed her as if her death had just happened. Grief is not a linear journey! THAT is for sure!!!

As a mother who has lost a child, you miss your child’s touch, voice, smile, smell…Ohhhhh and Sophia had SUCH an awesome, awesome smell. She smelled like wonderful flowers. It was uncanny! I LOVED to nestle my nose up against her tummy to selfish get the biggest whiff I could and have the side benefit of those amazing giggles!! You can understand the connection we had a bit more to know that when I walked into the funeral home and saw her in her little casket, just SEEING her, my body started instantly lactating. I had to put on a coat because my shirt was drenched with milk. My heart was crying as my body was still soooo connected with her that is was trying to feed her body, even as my mind knew she was dead. Even though we are approaching the fifth year of her death, it is still devastatingly heartbreaking at times. I know there are lots and lots and lots of gifts that have come from this. I am not in any way knocking them. It is just society, in general, wants you to MOVE ON and to be honest that is partially true. REPLAYING the past again and again is a waste of the present HOWEVER sometimes as you go along living with your daily business feelings come up that are VERY strong. WARNING: This is NOT the time to have a stiff upper lip! When a feeling comes up pay attention to it. If you don’t take care of it, it will “take care” of you! THAT IS FOR DAMN SURE!

Things, ESPECIALLY feelings, that we STUFF DOWN to “get rid of them” only start to fester and puss. It is much better to let yourself FEEL what is happening in that moment because there are gifts that come from those OPENINGS too! Here are some of the gifts I got from staying open yesterday…

Gift Number 1…When I went to pick up my youngest from preschool I was in a very “feeling state”. Immediately, like a tractor beam a mom, whom I rarely see, out-of-the-blue confided her fear in what was going on with her own son’s health. Kate was replaying the FUTURE WHAT-IF MOVIE to try to keep him safe. The interesting thing is that if you stay in this “movie” you oftentimes miss the cues in the present that will prevent that movie from occurring. (DEEP BREATH – FEEL THAT STATEMENT) Kate seemed a lot more grounded and happy as she drove away.

Gift Number 2…After Kate left, another mom Dima came to pick up her daughter and when she asked about my day I felt a huge emotional wave building. As I felt it get bigger I asked for what I needed….a hug. I broke down sobbing, the kind that I don’t usually do around people I don’t know very well. I had no choice. It felt wonderful to receive such a beautiful gift of a deeply caring hug and fully being present with another person. I believe that she also felt she received a gift- that of being able to be fully present with another human being.

Gift Number 3…Went to Medway with my two youngest girls to run some errands for Brick House Realty and ButterflyMoms. We stopped to get hot chocolates (no whip, no foam, extra side of love) 😉 and there was a mom there with her son who had AMAZING energy. We spoke a bit and then as we were getting into our cars I approached her, told her I had a very emotional day and that my intuition was telling me to invite her to come read the ButterflyMoms blog. ( I had business cards made and pass them out all the time! If you need some let me know!) Well, ButterflyMoms, it was yet another direct hit on the LOVE fest chart! As “luck” would have it she is a cancer survivor and was out with her little son to take in the precious moments she had! We hugged three times!!! 😉 It made both of us feel better. It felt soooooo good!!

Gift Number 4…Spent time with my oldest daughter Mialotta. It was time JUST for her and me. I spend a lot of time with her, just not always PRESENT time. This time I was and I could see the joy in her face and I’m hoping it was a reflection of the joy in my heart that she was mirroring…think maybe it was.

Gift Number 5…One of my client’s, her dad has cancer and the prognosis is not good. I shared my day with her and shared the quiet wisdom I acquired from the day. I did not give her all the details. I simply held a certain energy level that I felt affected her in a very loving way. It was the perfect way to end such an incredible day!

May you allow your feelings a voice and notice all the gifts that come from you being present and vulnerable, knowing that no matter what you are ALWAYS SAFE and ALWAYS LOVED!

I LOVE YOU! :)!

Great big honkin’ hugs sistah- friends!

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 

🙂

ButterflyMoms founder…YAY!

PS For those who have not heard we BUTTERFLYMOMS have won our FIRST AWARD!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! (standing ovation!!!) We won the “IRRESISTIBLY BRILLIANT BLOG AWARD. I need a couple more weeks to pick our top 10. If you have any suggestions let me know!

PPS It has been four weeks since my BIG DREAM got delivered to me, the book I helped write called “Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire”!!! I sold only TWO books last week which is way below my goal. If you have been meaning to buy yours please do now. My goal is to sell at least 300 in 2011. The people who have read it truly love it! You simply can’t fit any more love into a book! 😉 I sign every book and wrap it with lots of love! You never know what magic comes to you when you create magic for others! To order now go to http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

Here is where the books have gone to ButterflyMoms…

UNITED STATES

California

Sacramento 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 1

Holliston 6

Hudson 4

Medway 1

Worcester 2

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

When you buy a book you represent your area. Let’s see where all the ButterflyMoms live!!! :)! This is FUN! To buy your copy Click here now… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

Please tell your friends to mark their calendars to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday! 🙂 SPREAD THE LOVE…It’s fun and free!!!!

ANGRY AT GOD!

Thank you ButterflyMoms for your help especialy Helen for reaching out!

Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

First, I want to thank Helen Bannigan for her wonderful guest post yesterday. It is wonderful to have heart friends like her and those who reached out. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for lightening my burden and giving me a renewed sense of hope!

I find myself in a very precarious part of my life’s journey. For the most part, it does not feel very good to be where I am right now.  If I take the fear and the judgment away I can say that I am definitely experiencing a lot of deep “shifts”. There is a river of rapid, unexpected CHANGE currently re-arranging my life… and that usually does not feel very good to us humans, especially when you seem to be following “the” rules, but not getting the promised results.

I’ve been in a phase where something “icky” happens and I dust myself off,  put on a “stiff upper lip and conjure up all the self-help advice I’ve acquired over the years. Then another “Icky” thing happens, then another, then another, almost like “instead of it’s raining men, it’s raining icky.” It gets so bad that you start to think that the universe is pulling a cruel joke on you. It is seems like your whole life is deconstructing without your conscious consent. You think you are at that bottom and then you arrive at a new lower, bottom. Your life seems to be in free-fall mode. You feel scared, disconnected, and angry.

Life sometimes feel overwhelming!

As someone who has been to third world countries and seen how many/most of the people of our planet Earth live, there is a part of me, THE JUDGE, who rides me like a mule. “Look at you! You have running water, heat, a car that works, healthy children, a body that works, etc…SNAP OUT OF IT! “ And I did,  I did “snap out of it again and again but there is a part of us that we bury when we simply “snap out of it” without acknowledging what is going on because it’s not convenient, or it makes others uncomfortable, or because it does not feel good, or_____________ (you fill in your own answer).

I get the sense that many feel this way but being raised the way we have been it is not “proper” for us to feel “icky” for very long or even simply be ANGRY. Well-wishers and loved ones also tell me to think about all that I have and to be thankful for that. It is true that I do have a lot to be thankful for but sometimes we feel what we feel and cutting off those feelings or sugar-coating what is going on in life, well quite honestly, sometimes life just SUCKS!

I remember back to a time when we had someone from Early Intervention coming to the house when we first had Sophia. Wise, white-haired Barbara was a wonderful soul who came to the house once a week to help us cope with Sophia having Downs and to make the most out of her life. She had a conversation with Doug once that helped snap everything into place. Barbara also had a special needs son who was now a man, she just blurted out one day, “Ya, it sucks.” Just saying those words released Doug in a very deep way. To be able to say that it sucks that you are in that situation without all the KUMBAHYAH fanfare feels REFRESHING! It is acknowledging your true feelings, not what you are supposed to feel.

What does it all mean when it's all falling apart.

It is only when we acknowledge that things do ROYALLY SUCK that we can begin to “move past the sucking”!!! Ignoring it just lets the SUCKINESS grow and fester. It may seem to go away but it only gets nastier and when it finally oozes back into your life you will wish you had addressed it MUCH sooner.

I spent my whole life creating a plan and working that plan of how to avoid pain and have the life I wanted. Over the last few years the universe has completely blown up that world. I AM RAW. Right now my life feels like it’s coming at me full speed. I feel like a rag doll getting thrown around. I don’t know where life is leading me but I will continue to be as authentic and present as I know how. Mark your calendars to come back every Friday for the unfolding journey. Feel free to share your comments below. This is how we can all learn and grow our ButterflyMoms souls.

Great big hugs,

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS  My first book “Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire” is scheduled to be shipped at the end of next week. For ButterflyMoms who order it online it is discounted to $19.99 for ButterflyMoms (down from $25). Please order a copy and recommend to your online friends. Click here to buy, and post the link on your Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, …. http://bit.ly/gRxe4U.

PPS Yesterday we had our first Stitch n’ Bitch at Doug Sent Me Green Cleaners in the downtown of an idyllic New England town called Holliston, Massachusetts. It was sooooo incredibly cathartic. It was so wonderful that the people who came asked if we could do it again in two weeks instead of a month. If you don’t live close enough to Holliston to come Thursday, Feb 3 from 6-8pm then join your own group. Building community is another way we feed our soul. For more information you can go to their official website…. http://stitchnbitch.org/

The Depths of a Mother’s Desperation – Part Two

WARNING: The content you are about to read is soooooooo inspiring that it may cause tears and an uncontrollable urge to send this blog to others. Do not fight the urges. Do not adjust your computer. Do giggle and cry and ponder and share and breathe and write and draw and sing and whatever else feels good to you in the moment. What you are feeling is the AUTHENTIC YOU, reaching out of its shell. Feel free to TRY THIS AT HOME…AND OFTEN! “FEED YOUR SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!”  It’s soooooo easy! Start here…

These are the first photos we ever got of Olivia from the social worker. I looked at these photos for hours and hours. She looked so stiff and so sad to me.

Hello Beautiful ButterflyMoms!

I was floored when I checked to see that with yesterday’s post we are now up to almost 700 people who have come to read this week’s ButterflyMoms’ blog! WOW! …..AND with no nudie photos or gratuitous sex….although ButterflyMoms KNOW there is a place for that too!  YESIREE!!!!!! 😉 (wink, wink, wink) Thank you for sharing BUTTERFLYMOMS with your friends and family. From the AMAZING feedback it seems that the combination of me writing, and you sharing, is FEEDING a lot of souls – that warms the cockles of my heart! THANK YOU! I’m writing this in my gratitude journal! That’s for sure! I invite you to write in yours today. It compounds your energy in the direction that you want. It gives you more light and fullness in this lifetime.  Baby steps will get us there….each day closer and closer…AND nothing says we can’t have FUN as we go! When I taught in Japan I used to say all the time, “If you are not laughing, you are not learning.” I believe that quote still applies now, especially with what we are doing here with ButterflyMoms! We are all learning how to feed our once starving souls. It is a process. It is an adventure. I LOVE that we are doing this together! YIPEEEEEEEEEE!

Yesterday’s blog entry was part one of two parts. It was about getting gifts, but not just any gift. It was about being offered another human being.  YUP! You read me correctly, being offered a real PERSON! Yesterday was about Thailand when I was 22. Today is about the United States of America less than three years ago when I was 40.

Our very first meeting. Olivia could not keep her eyes off of Doug. This photo shows that beautifully!

I used to read voraciously as a child because I wanted so desperately to escape the tragedy of parts of my childhood. I could escape in books. I felt like a beautiful bird in a cage. I could see the outside but could not leave. I knew that one day the cage door would open so I wanted to learn as much as I could of the outside world while I was “trapped” in this one. The Hudson Public Library was my gateway to knowledge, fun and creativity. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED that place! To this day I have a HUGE respect for libraries because of what wonderful gifts I received there as a child.

The first time I ever held our Divine Miss Olivia

[SIDENOTE: I ask that you support your local library. It is usually a very small amount of money to “become a friend”. As a business owner both my husband Doug and I apply separately as members of the library. It’s very inexpensive to join and soooo much good comes from our libraries! It is another example of something AMAZING right under our noses that we FORGET TO NOTICE. I ask you today to bring AWARENESS to yours (your library, not your nose ;)). Become a member today. IT FEELS GREAT! Go there. Smile at the people. Take out some books. Check out a section you never gave yourself time to check out. Feel the space. Take your Gratitude Journal and do some entries while you are there. There is no right or wrong way to enjoy your library. Connect with things that represent what public libraries do and you will attract more of that into your life! It’s as simple as that! Put it in your calendar NOW and do it! You will FEEL THE DIFFERENCE! Now back to our regularly scheduled blog entry….. 😉 ]

This is the first time Mialotta ever met her new baby sister. Olivia was totally unemotional. I had never seen a chlld act like that. You could tell she had not experienced deep MAMA LOVE!

So one day by the back wall I picked out a book at the Hudson Public Library that changed my life. It was a book about a couple who meant to adopt one child and ended up adopting A LOT of them. I had never been exposed to adoption but after reading it I KNEW that was something that would one day make up the fabric of my life. I put the wish (a strong visualization with lots of feeling) out into the universe and let it go, knowing it would take care of itself when the time was right. (I did not know that was what I was doing but that was what I was, in fact, doing.) It is a very powerful way to manifest what you want.

I, like most of us, had an idea of what I wanted a partnership and family to look like. I had no idea how I would get there. There were times where the HARDER I TRIED to do the “RIGHT” things the further I seemed from having the “FAMILY” I dreamed about. Time kept moving on and still all I had were a bunch of Mr. I’m Not Ready’s, so I finally got to the point where I decided to let go and trust. It was then that I met Doug and it was like I entered a fantastic whirlwind. Honestly I’m surprised I did not get WHIPLASH! First, part of the package was a stepson, the lovely Master Christopher who is a total cutie pie, then Mialotta, then Sophia. Mialotta and Sophia were only 14 months apart. When Sophia died we kept trying to get pregnant but just kept miscarrying. I brought up adoption to Doug and over time he agreed to take it one step at a time. We would go to each meeting or class and he would say whether he felt ok to move forward. Before we knew it the state of Massachusetts called and asked if we wanted a HUMAN BEING. Please know that I’m not making light of this. I’m simply in awe of the whole process. Someone again was offering to give me a human being…and with no stretch marks! WOW! WOW! WOW! If you are paying attention to life that is deep!

One of the first meals she had in her new home. Already a difference in how she smiles.

[SIDENOTE: Adoption is something that is not very well understood by many people. It is possible to adopt from within the U.S. There are plenty of amazing children out there who don’t have anyone to call “Mom”. Ok so this is bigger than my asking you support your local library but it’s something that if you are attracted to will help you leave an incredible legacy. I’ve always fantasized about having a large group of girlfriends over for dinner and when they got there have about 20 kids there of all ages. I’d let everyone hang out and play games. The kids would leave after many giggles and when we all sat down to eat I would ask, “Weren’t those kids great?” They would all nod and smile thinking about them then I would say, “Every one of those children has no home. They have no Mom or Dad. They are alone

The Sisters Adore Each Other!

in the world.” Ok, since I can’t use my dinner party “ploy” on you now I’m asking you to pretend you were at that dinner party yourself. How would you feel? Here is some adoption information you may not know. If you adopt through the state of Massachusetts (I don’t know about other states but I believe it’s also free). It’s TOTALLY FREE to adopt. YUP, we did not pay a penny! Our Olivia also has FREE HEALTHCARE. Once legal NO ONE can take them away from you. Also her college is paid for if she goes to a state school! How is that for cool?! If you have specific questions I’d be happy to answer them. They help you find the right child for you. We got exactly the person we were meant to, the divine Miss Olivia. Most who don’t want to adopt do so because they freak out about not getting someone they envision. I find that you get exactly who you need and just like with most everything in life, you get to approve of each step of the process. If you want to move forward with a child, you also get their complete history. We found that VERY helpful. Just like with the children in Thailand, it breaks my heart that thousands of wonderful kids have no homes. We can solve this one! By just OPENING our mouths and sharing our Olivia adoption story there are now at least six kids who have been adopted. If we got the word out to enough people and explained what was RIGHT HAPPENING RIGHT UNDER THEIR NOSES there would be a safe, happy home for each and every child. It happens by starting with just one! If you would like a quick preview check out the link… http://www.mareinc.org/MARE-Online-Photolisting.html

The Mother's Day celebration at her schoolie where the kids prepared a yummy lunch for their mommies! So special!

I have to admit as a mom who lost a child I had a hard time for a long while because there was a part of me that felt guilty for having someone else’s child. If someone had my Sophia I could not bear the pain of it. My heart goes out to all the moms who have LOST children no matter how they were taken from them. I now know the pain of losing and that of receiving. In Part One, I spoke about my 22 year old self and feeling horrible that I could not take a child from her mother, then at 40, I felt the guilt of having someone else’s child. Life is a great big unfolding of the unexpected. It has come full circle for me in a way. You do the best with what is before you and as Maya Angelou says, “When you know better, you do better.” My desire is that by reading ButterflyMoms on a regular basis, you find YOUR BETTER!

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

Olivia Now.... When you pour LOVE into anyone Miracles Happen.

PS If you like what you read please post this on your FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, etc and email friends. In the melee of our daily lives, we can all use a gentle reminder to connect to what is REAL and feels good! Here is the link for today’s entry… http://wp.me/pBdfR-9U

ENJOY SHARING THE LOVE!

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