Good Morning Beautiful ButterflyMoms,
It feels soooooooo awesome to connect with you again today! When I sit down to write I literally do it as if we were sitting here together having an iced or hot tea (depending on your mood and location ;). It is another way I practice connecting to the universal energy that we all come from. It feels AMAZING, FAMILIAR, NURTURING, JOY-FULL, and even FUN! Thank you for your part in this wonderful formula we call ButterflyMoms!
If you have ever tried yoga (and I highly, highly, highly suggest that you do!!!) many teachers begin and end their class with the word “NAMASTE”. It is a Sanskrit word used as a greeting, but one that calls your BEST and HIGHEST good, as well as the BEST and HIGHEST good of the other person! Each time you greet someone you are saying, the God/Goddess/Love energy in me sees the God/Goddess/Love energy in you! “NAMASTE” calls you each back to your core essence, back into your zone! Your zone is not my zone BUT when each of us is in alignment we have true peace. In this space there is only LOVE. TRUE LOVE, not those mushy Hollywood myths that people love to mirror. 😉
For the next week either out loud or to yourself when you see someone instead of just saying “HEY” , “HI”, “HOW’S IT GOIN”, WHAT’S SHAKIN’ or HOW’S IT HANGIN’, how about you take a deep breath and say NAMASTE, even if it’s only in your mind. Think of it as a sweet, sweet alignment for your soul….it’s free and fun and is also a deep, magical gift to the others you come across in your day. 😉
Tuesday was my husband Doug’s last chemotherapy appointment for this round. He has an ornery auto-immune disease called vasculitis that has been getting our attention for the last two years. So
while the last round of snow storms hit we were at Mass General in Boston getting his infusion. At the very same time my books were finally delivered. It was 308 pounds of pure DREAM REALIZATION and its name is called Mom Entrepreneur Extraordinaire! WOW! WOW! WOW! Dream Realization Feels Good y’all!!!!! REAL GOOD!!! 😉 The book did not come in the way I thought it would but I was open to the way it did. The result is that this New Year I got a break from putting down “WRITE A BOOK” as my new year’s resolution!!! 😉 (only took 20 years!!! 😉
For over 20 years I have dreamt about these 308 pounds. Imagined in my mind what it would feel like to finally publish my first book. I pictured what it would be like to hold it, smell it, turn the pages and autograph them for people. In those 20 years I’ve also taken lots and lots of shit and ridicule from those who did not believe in my dream. You may find it surprising that most of those people were not my enemies but actually close family and friends. Many of them love/like me but I was messing with their comfort zone of what was APPROPRIATE DREAMING and what was not. In their minds they were doing for my own good….to keep me safe ;). GENTLE REMINDER TO BREATHE HERE, LOOSEN YOUR SHOULDERS and MOVE YOUR JAW AROUND….AHHHHHHHHH! (Remember from last week’s blog to give your “ickies” to the rocks so that you can clearly see the message for you without all the crap-ola!!!! 😉
(SIDENOTE: Notice that I wrote “taken lots and lots of shit and ridicule from”. What that means to me is that I actually did let it affect me. To say it did not and that I was fully focused is a lie. I let it do the opposite of NAMASTE. I let myself (many, many, many times) fall back into the “I’m not as good as ____________________” (fill in whomever fits), especially if my ______________ (boyfriend/girlfriend/mother/cousin/grandfather/sister/uncle/dad/brother/aunt/teacher-whoever it is for you) says so. One of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes is “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Well, I gave my consent because I did not know that I was enough. I grew up in a VERY Portuguese home/community where acceptance is paramount. I cannot tell you how many times I heard, “what are the neighbors going to think” At times I thought that I needed their approval in some way to feel whole, some days I still do, it’s a habit that is growing weaker ;).
Ahhhhhhh, my ButterflyMoms, we are our own prison guards!!! Really take this in. On “Amazing Home Makeover” (the show on ABC) there was a beautiful young man who was in college when his sister and mother died so instead of having his niece and nephews go into foster homes he quit school to take care of them. Even against huge odds he believes, “THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN STOP YOU IS YOU!” Take it in, really take that in. What does this mean for you? I invite you to fire your guard or at the very least start giving him/her some well-deserved TIME OFF!!!) He/She has served his/her purpose and now they can also be set free! SET YOURSELF FREE!!!!!!
When you don’t have a lot of support, you have the opportunity to create your own support systems that work for you. That is what the ButterflyMoms community is to me. It is a wonderful support system for those who want to FLY!!!!!! Tap into this support and create other like systems throughout your life that allow your soul to grow and expand. It is fun to explore the possibilities. The more you question your “SHOULDs” the more you will EXPAND your JOY!
Great big honkin’ hugs to YOU!
PS In continuing to follow my soul’s dreams I ask for your help to get me to my goal of selling at least 300 copies of “Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire” this year. So far I have only 11 orders…two from my mom ;)! If you feel inspired buy a book or two. I sign every book and wrap it with lots of love! You never know what magic comes to you when you create magic for others! To order now go to http://bit.ly/gRxe4U
It is sooooooooooo wonderful to wake up EVERY Friday morning way before even the sun gets up knowing that I’m going to CONNECT WITH YOU! It feels wonderful knowing I’m feeding so many souls by just being myself! And for you, beautiful ButterflyMoms, when you CONNECT in this manner there is less DEFENSE because you can read slowly or a part of it and then come back to it later. In other words, you can process it at any speed you wish. I like to think of it like a “pitching fork” that is used for aligning notes. When you come to ButterflyMoms and let the words “tune your life” you re-align to your true life’s purpose…and that is why we are all here, after all! It’s as simple and luscious as that! So here we go…
The last few months have been ovary-busters! WHEW-EW CHILD! Some seriously crazy stuff has been unfolding. Many people did not find it comfortable for me to be in that ICKY PLACE but I did not want to leave it because I had not processed what I was going through. I have not fully left this uncomfortable place but I have found some incredible nuggets of information. The biggest one right now is that I do not have to own what I cannot control.
Sometimes as Moms we put ourselves in the position of God/Goddess/Allah/ Buddha. By this I mean we take on EVERYONE’s issues and make it our own. This is an impossible task that has killed the life force of many of our ancestors. Think about that harsh reality!
I was doing a meditation in my energy medicine school last weekend and I realized that I was guilty of wanting to fix everyone’s problems so that they could be safe….so that I could be safe. My fear of not being safe was so big that I oftentimes did not even check in with the person to see if they wanted my help or not. HELLOOOOO REALITY CHECK! This summer I had three very strong (energetically speaking) individuals do that to me and I can tell you that from the receiving side, it does NOT feel good at all when others try to SAVE YOU WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION!! ICKY!!!! YUCK!!!!
My childhood did not exactly teach me about TRUST so now in adulthood I’m sticking in my pinky toe to see if the waters of trust feel right to me. I know there is a large “reward”, amazing treasures, if I can open up, really open up to the magnificence that is all around. Being closed cuts us off from sooooooooooo much cool “stuff”!!! …..and I’m talking about experiences, not things. SIDENOTE: Author Dan Buetner http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Buettner studies real sources of happiness. He quoted a study that the impact of new material things only lasts 9 months but experiences add value over time. 🙂 (and THAT is why ladies and gentlemen that I LOVE to travel!!!!) 😉
So back to this idea of trying to fix everything (hope I did not give you whiplash just now by moving back to the topic from which we digressed 😉 MOMMY MARTYRS DON’T HELP ANYONE! It is a not-so-great way to use your energy and then when you get depleted you get VERY cranky, moody or both and then, much like Godzilla, unleash your wrath unto the closest unsuspecting victims. You and I both now it can get very, very icky because the anger gets so big that you either attack someone else or turn it against yourself. For many of us we don’t know there is a third option, YES my fellow BUTTERFLYMOMS!!! YES, there is a THIRD OPTION and that is to give it away!
Now that I’ve totally confused you allow me to explain…Whenever we run across something that is too much to handle simply do the parts of it that you can, no matter how small or insignificant they feel, and then for the parts you cannot handle simply give them up to….here is where the fun begins. I did a mental exercise where I realized that I could give my ickies or the things that were too big for me to handle to rocks. Yes, you read it correctly, R-O-C-K-S, ROCKS!! In my exercise the rocks actually said “GIVE US YOUR PAIN. GIVE US YOUR HURT. WE LOVE EATING THAT STUFF.” Well, I did and know what? IT FELT AWWWWWWWESOME!!! Yes it did! I felt a huge weight being lifted. I found that it works MUCH better to stop acting like God and simply give it up to Spirit. Something happens where we think we need to do it all ourselves…(how’s that workin’ fer ya?)…..and that is simply not the case. THAT is why we feel so overwhelmed and why we keep trying to fill it with more STUFF!!! Do you see it? Take an aerial view of your life. Can you see where you have done this? Can you see where you do this? Here’s your chance to feed the rocks!!!
Now my brain is scared that I just blogged that the rocks spoke to me but in this exercise they did so I’m going outside my comfort zone and letting you know too. Hope it helps some of you out there. I know it might seem silly but SILLY WORKED for me and it just may work for you, plus it’s 1. FREE 2. Does not hurt anyone and 3. No one knows that you are doing it….unless you put it on your own blog!!! 😉
I’m hearing little feet, gotta put on my “Mommy hat”.
Great big honkin’ hugs my lovelies,
COOL EVENTS SECTION….
This week is the inauguration week for BFMs listing your events all over our planet. Send me your cool events that feed other ButterflyMoms’ Souls by Wed to have them included in Friday’s ButterflyMoms blog…
– From one of OUR ButterflyMoms, Nancy Senior in Worcester, MA…This Saturday, January 29th and Sunday 30th all day, it’s the Three Rivers Building Community Retreat! Come experience many different treatments demos including Reiki, Healings, Massage, Yoga, Raw foods and more. Affordable and fun! For more info: www.threeriversbuilding.com . I’m going with my girls Sat morning! Come join us!
– From one of OUR ButterflyMoms, Betty Ripley, Holliston, MA…Sewing 101 Class. Come learn how to sew in a class environment that is supportive and fun. The way Betty knows how to teach a class it simply just another form of meditation. The four week class starts Monday, January 31, 7-9pm for $75. I’m taking the class too! For more details call Maria 617.877.3616. Betty is also teaching a quilting class and has kids’ classes.
– From one of OUR ButterflyMoms, Becky Geer-Linnell, Medway, MA…Kniting 101 & Beyond Class. Just like the sewing class this is an incredibly fun way to connect to yourself by doing something that human being have been doing for thousands of years. Come learn how to knit in a wonderful environment. The four week class starts Tuesday, January 31, 7-9pm for $75. For more details call me 617.877.3616.
– From one of OUR ButterflyMoms, Maria Salomão-Schmidt, Holliston, MA AND ALL OVER THE WORLD!…Stitch n’ Bitch Get Together at Doug Sent Me Green Cleaners in the downtown of an idyllic New England town called Holliston, Massachusetts. It was sooooo incredibly cathartic. It was so wonderful that the people who came asked if we could do it again in two weeks instead of a month. If you don’t live close enough to Holliston to come Thursday, Feb 3 from 6-8pm then join your own group. Building community is another way we feed our soul and it’s FREE! For more info go to their official site…. http://stitchnbitch.org/
PS WONDERFUL NEWS!!! My first book “Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire” was shipped on Monday!!! For ButterflyMoms who order it online it is discounted to $19.99 for ButterflyMoms (down from $25). Please order a copy and recommend to your online friends. Click here to buy, and post the link on your Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, …. http://bit.ly/gRxe4U. WHEW WHO!!!!!!!!
First, I want to thank Helen Bannigan for her wonderful guest post yesterday. It is wonderful to have heart friends like her and those who reached out. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for lightening my burden and giving me a renewed sense of hope!
I find myself in a very precarious part of my life’s journey. For the most part, it does not feel very good to be where I am right now. If I take the fear and the judgment away I can say that I am definitely experiencing a lot of deep “shifts”. There is a river of rapid, unexpected CHANGE currently re-arranging my life… and that usually does not feel very good to us humans, especially when you seem to be following “the” rules, but not getting the promised results.
I’ve been in a phase where something “icky” happens and I dust myself off, put on a “stiff upper lip and conjure up all the self-help advice I’ve acquired over the years. Then another “Icky” thing happens, then another, then another, almost like “instead of it’s raining men, it’s raining icky.” It gets so bad that you start to think that the universe is pulling a cruel joke on you. It is seems like your whole life is deconstructing without your conscious consent. You think you are at that bottom and then you arrive at a new lower, bottom. Your life seems to be in free-fall mode. You feel scared, disconnected, and angry.
As someone who has been to third world countries and seen how many/most of the people of our planet Earth live, there is a part of me, THE JUDGE, who rides me like a mule. “Look at you! You have running water, heat, a car that works, healthy children, a body that works, etc…SNAP OUT OF IT! “ And I did, I did “snap out of it again and again but there is a part of us that we bury when we simply “snap out of it” without acknowledging what is going on because it’s not convenient, or it makes others uncomfortable, or because it does not feel good, or_____________ (you fill in your own answer).
I get the sense that many feel this way but being raised the way we have been it is not “proper” for us to feel “icky” for very long or even simply be ANGRY. Well-wishers and loved ones also tell me to think about all that I have and to be thankful for that. It is true that I do have a lot to be thankful for but sometimes we feel what we feel and cutting off those feelings or sugar-coating what is going on in life, well quite honestly, sometimes life just SUCKS!
I remember back to a time when we had someone from Early Intervention coming to the house when we first had Sophia. Wise, white-haired Barbara was a wonderful soul who came to the house once a week to help us cope with Sophia having Downs and to make the most out of her life. She had a conversation with Doug once that helped snap everything into place. Barbara also had a special needs son who was now a man, she just blurted out one day, “Ya, it sucks.” Just saying those words released Doug in a very deep way. To be able to say that it sucks that you are in that situation without all the KUMBAHYAH fanfare feels REFRESHING! It is acknowledging your true feelings, not what you are supposed to feel.
It is only when we acknowledge that things do ROYALLY SUCK that we can begin to “move past the sucking”!!! Ignoring it just lets the SUCKINESS grow and fester. It may seem to go away but it only gets nastier and when it finally oozes back into your life you will wish you had addressed it MUCH sooner.
I spent my whole life creating a plan and working that plan of how to avoid pain and have the life I wanted. Over the last few years the universe has completely blown up that world. I AM RAW. Right now my life feels like it’s coming at me full speed. I feel like a rag doll getting thrown around. I don’t know where life is leading me but I will continue to be as authentic and present as I know how. Mark your calendars to come back every Friday for the unfolding journey. Feel free to share your comments below. This is how we can all learn and grow our ButterflyMoms souls.
Great big hugs,
PS My first book “Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire” is scheduled to be shipped at the end of next week. For ButterflyMoms who order it online it is discounted to $19.99 for ButterflyMoms (down from $25). Please order a copy and recommend to your online friends. Click here to buy, and post the link on your Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, …. http://bit.ly/gRxe4U.
PPS Yesterday we had our first Stitch n’ Bitch at Doug Sent Me Green Cleaners in the downtown of an idyllic New England town called Holliston, Massachusetts. It was sooooo incredibly cathartic. It was so wonderful that the people who came asked if we could do it again in two weeks instead of a month. If you don’t live close enough to Holliston to come Thursday, Feb 3 from 6-8pm then join your own group. Building community is another way we feed our soul. For more information you can go to their official website…. http://stitchnbitch.org/