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Anyone Up for A QUICKIE?

EVERY person who comes into your life is there to remind you of parts of who you are. Even the ICKIES ones (not pictured here) are gifts. Treasure them!

One of the things I hear the most in my practice of helping ButterflyMoms is, “I wish life came with instructions.” Well, life does not come with instructions but it does come with something MUCH better, INSTANT FEEDBACK. Can you imagine if life did come with instructions and you had to memorize? As they say in Brooklyn, “Foh-git-about it!” 😉 This way is MUCH easier!

So when you feel stressed. Pay attention. When you feel tired. Pay attention. When you feel ICKY pay attention. Use breath. (take one now for practice 😉

If you move closer to your joy you start feeling good. If you move away from alignment you start feeling ICKY.(TAKE A BIG BREATH AND TAKE IT IN. YOU REMEMBER THINGS BETTER WHEN YOU DO THAT. We could all use a bit more O2 in our diets! ;))

And just a quick side note for those, like me, who like to think OUTSIDE the box…this means “FEEL GOOD” without having to do or put anything inside your body. If you are dependent on an outside source, well then, it’s not YOU! BE LEAD BY YOUR BLISS, not the chocolate’s!!!! 😉

Today’s post is short and sweet after yesterday’s. Sometimes we need a QUICKIE to just re-align ourselves back to our IN THE ZONE place!


Great big hugs,



PS We have had over 1,000 people come to the blog in the last 3 weeks!!! WOW! I love to hear from you! Many people write to me but do it privately and don’t post on the blog. Feel free to do what feels right to you just make sure you send me your suggestions so we help each other grow in a direction that serves. YOU are LOVE and YOU are LOVED!!

Y O U are SAFE!

Our beautiful little butterfly Sophia on her first birthday 🙂 She is the inspiration for BUTTEFLYMOMS!

Today’s soul lesson is about paying attention to that thing that keeps coming up for you even though it feels ICKY, or, even though your mind is bringing in a chorus of naysayers. ALWAYS go with your gut. Part of this journey is starting to distinguish the voice of fear/mind vs the voice of wisdom/instinct. The more PRESENT you are the more WHOLE you will feel. Today’s lesson is a challenging one for me, personally, but it’s coming up as a topic today and if I’m talking the talk, baby, then I have to walk the walk…..because I know wonderful adventures await when we let go and observe! I trust you beautiful ButterflyMoms enough to write the following with an open heart….

“YOU ARE SAFE” – The first time I ever remember hearing those words was the first day of preschool for my then 2 year old Mialotta. I quietly burst into blinding tears. SAFETY. Wow, what a concept! Seeking SAFETY had been my holy grail quest. I had been looking for it, for a place to belong, where I could just “be” my whole life. I was petrified of not being SAFE. Now, as a mother, my SAFETY FEAR PARADIGM had shifted to also include my children’s safety. A few months earlier with the sudden death of my 13 month old baby daughter, Sophia, I was on HIGH, HIGH, HIGH ALERT. What I “believed” was being completely challenged. Growth sometimes feels like pain because it can be scary. To move through it bring in your breath. It is one of your biggest built-in assets!!!

Sophia and Mialotta were only 14 months apart. Mialotta ADORED her little sister. It was wonderful to watch! The day Sophia stopped breathing the blur of events started… all the screaming, trying to give CPR, frantic calling 911, the shrieking ambulances on our lawn, the burly paramedics. It was such a violent, scary scene for me! I cannot imagine what it was like for my twenty-seven month old,  sweet little “innocent” Mialotta!!!!  One of the hardest things about Sophia’s death was TRYING TO EXPLAIN to my 2 year old why her little sister was physically gone and would not be coming back. In her mind, I had left with Sophia with those BIG men.  Mialotta’s world, as much as I wanted to protect her from something so hard to bear, was forever changed.  She tried to make sense of it with a stream of  questions – “But why did you let those big men take her?” “But if she’s at the hospital why don’t you go get her?”, “Where is Sophia?”, “When is she coming back?”…. The next day she asked me, “Mama, when are the big men coming to take me next?” (breathe……….whew………ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… stay with it).  Those words took my breath and crushed my heart. This little, little baby was now unsure of her own SAFETY because even at two your heart can be broken.

Little Mialotta at 2

It had only been a few months since our baby Sophia died and we were walking around in a deep fog. A WONDERFUL woman from our church, Ellen Kerstein, kept showing up, gently asking us about Mialotta’s going to her preschool. Ellen is an expert at helping children thrive. She has been doing it for decades and she is absolutely fabulous at it! Mentally, we were in a place where decisions were hard to make because they had consequences. Ellen kept asking. She kept showing up. We mindlessly agreed. When we walked in the first day of school and the beautiful Ellen bent down to Mialotta and said, “YOU ARE SAFE,” it blew my mind!

I had not realized I was worried about it because I was sooooooooooooo IN THE FEAR of not being safe. I could see Mialotta immediately relax. This whole scene was a DIRECT MESSAGE RECEIVED from the universe. I GOT that I AM SAFE, that WHAT/WHO YOU need shows up WHEN YOU NEED IT! Our job is not to JUDGE, just take it in. I got that, lessons even when they are crazy hard, help us grow. Someone once said to me that hearts can only grow after they break…….I am starting to FEEL that is true!

Great big hugs,


How’s Your GAS????

Good Morning Beautiful ButterflyMoms!!

What helps us on our journey is to know, or be reminded, of what we already have. Today let’s talk about something that affects your days in the most profound way, ENERGY.

ENERGY is the fuel for everything you do. You can have the nicest car in the world, like a Lamborghini pictured here on the right, but without gas, over time,  it’s just a candidate for the junk yard. Think about that for a second. Our energy is key! It’s an obvious point, so obvious that we forget about it! Your car has several warning mechanisms. It has the gas gage that tells you how much gas you have. For some of us we ride with the WARNING: GAS ALMOST EMPTY light on because we have gotten pretty good at guesstimating how many trips we can take without having to re-fuel. Sound familiar? 😉

Mothers can go a lot longer than a car without gas, a lot longer, sometimes years. In a way I’m proud to write that. I think that’s the ego. The “I can take on the world no matter what”, part of me. The challenge is that while you are in that mode you are closing down your JUST BEING mode. This is when we start to feel STUCK and then start spiraling into our favorite defensive coping strategies like watching more TV or eating more. Sound familiar? :0)

This week use your car as a reminder that every time you check the gas you also also check in with yourself to see if you are getting enough sleep, nutritious foods, play/creative time, connecting with others who fill your soul time. If the answer is no then right then and there pull out your calendar and find a fifteen minute time slots that day that you can get to play with two of those things above. Call a heart friend. Walk your dog. On the way from picking your kids up from school take them to the park for 15 minutes. It might sound like not that big of a deal but when you do it it unleashes some serious FUN that will shift a lot of what is not working in your life! Try it. You might just LOVE it

Come back tomorrow for some more fun ENERGY information sharing!

Have fun playing in the world!

Great big hugs,



THE Key Ingredient in Being a Mama…..KIDS!

Being in the moment - Chillaxing!!!! 😉

When we are in RAT-RACE MODE we lose our perspective and everything starts blending into one big mess. That is actually a great image if you can go with it. Each time you are in SUPER STRESS MODE all the boundaries of your life begin to fall away and you are left with everything in a big pile.

Think about a fabulous dinner with your favorite appetizer, salad, food, drink and dessert. Mmmmmmm….Can you see it? Can you smell it? Can you taste? Mmmmmmmmm! This is what your life is like when you are:  Grounded, Happy, Breathing, In “What gift does this moment bring?” mode, Present, Noticing, Not Judging, Trusting. You will have some of your best days when you are in this space! It’s always available to you. It’s free. Nothing to do but be YOU! And for each of us our “YOU” feels GREAT!!!

Now when you start: Fearing, Worrying, Not Breathing, Disconnecting from your feelings, Judging others, Judging yourself, Shutting down, Yelling, it’s like you take all that wonderful food and throw it all into a gigantic blender. Mmmmmmmm? How good does that taste? Not so great? But how can that be? It has all your favorite things in it? The answer is that the boundaries are gone. Repeat after me….

🙂 🙂 🙂 Good boundaries = Happy Butterfly Moms!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

INSPIRATION can come from anywhere! One of our biggest GIFTS as Mothers is our children! No matter how they came into your life, whether through your body or someone else’s they have come into your life for a magical reason. Nothing happens by “accident”.

One of our biggest GIFTS as Mothers is our children! No matter how they came into your life, whether through your body or someone else’s they have come into your life for a magical reason. Nothing happens by “accident” and if filter what is going on RIGHT NOW, in this moment, and ask, What has this come to teach me? then you will unleash the most amazing adventures in this lifetime. The choice, as always, is yours. 🙂

My stepson Christopher’s advocate, Sarah Commerford, came into our office the other day. Sarah was instrumental in getting him evaluated and on the right educational track because she very knowledgeable and a fabulous listener. She has SUCH a wonderful energy about her. She shared that she her son, for years, had been asking her to start cooking food from around the world. Our kids (no matter their age) can see things about us that we might not be able to see. They can be a short of guide if we are open to the messages they bring. Finally one day she decided to do it! She started this amazing blog where she is taking her passion and sharing with others. This is what her blog says…

Sarah Commerford, founder of "What's Cooking in Your World?"

What’s Cooking in your World?

Here is here story… About a year ago, my son Tim asked me if I would cook a meal from a different country at least one night a week. It sounded like a cool idea, as I love to cook and am blessed with a family of adventurous eaters, but like so many other things I think about yet never do, I put the idea on the back burner, so to speak, and pretty much left it there to simmer.

Last night we watched Julia&Julia. When it was over, Timmy said, “Well, if SHE could get through an entire cookbook in 365 days, why couldn’t you make a meal from a different country once a week, huh?” – Hmmm…the little sh*t threw down a challenge!

The Almanac lists 193 countries in the world. Turns out, this is a somewhat dynamic number though, as new countries are continually formed depending on political agendas – usually war. Given that reality, this project will try to reflect our ever changing global map, while doing justice to each country’s regional cuisine. In the process, I hope to expand my world views and cultural insight, one meal at a time.

So here’s my goal: Prepare 1, possibly 2 meals per week from a different country, until I’ve worked my way through all the World’s countries in alphabetical order.

First stop: Afghanistan….To take this adventure created by ButterflyMom Sarah go to It is a wonderful way to support someone’s passion, give yourself and family a wonderful adventure, connect, and ADD DEEP FUN into your HOME!

Remember that old saying that we barely read any more, HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR CHILD TODAY? Even if they are far away picture them, take a deep breath, and see them for the wonderful messengers they are, even when the message is ICKY right now. This too shall pass, fortunately and unfortunately.

Our Children Have Much to Teach... Are YOU listening?

Come back tomorrow and feed your soul.  You feed your body every day but what are you doing to feed your soul?

Great big hugs,


One of Life’s Biggest Questions…TO “GO THROUGH” or “STAY STUCK”!

"Tiny" Moments Add Up To Make YOUR LIFE 🙂

Sometimes we are so used to mediocrity that when PURE (you can fill any of these or make up your own) LOVE, JOY, TRUST, ALIGNMENT comes your way, it initially seems overwhelming, almost like too much oxygen. STAY WITH IT because this FEELING is simply a sign that you are crossing the two boundaries, FROM MEDIOCRITY TO ALIGNMENT. I was reminded of that yesterday with that MAGICAL phone call from THE Oprah Show! :)!!!! When it comes your way although it may initially take you off guard, get your bearings and embrace it! KNOW you deserve it! When you get the chance to ALIGN with YOUR DREAMS JUST SAY YES!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, it’s VERY important to know what “ALIGNMENT” means because it’s one of the KEY “ingredients” in a happy life. Alignment, it’s not just for chiropractors anymore! 😉 Each one of us comes to play this human game on Earth with a set of specific skills. Just like someone who wants bigger or stronger muscles can only do it by using weights. In order to grow these talents we are put THROUGH life events, some of which are not very pleasant in the moment. Breath with me here…We are talking about being on either side (either giving or receiving) incest, rape, beating, cheating, abandonment, killing, lying, stealing, hitting…..Keep breathing…..These are some of the most intense “weights” in our game of life. They are meant to build our spiritual abilities but for many of us we get stuck in the MEMORY of the event. That is the beginning of the CYCLE OF PAIN and “UN-ALIGNMENT”. The more you distance yourself from your true self, your alignment, the more pain you will have. It gets to the point where the re-hashing of that event in your mind over and over ends up causing you MORE PAIN that the event ever did! Think about that! Let that sink in. How does that feel for you?

When I was in my early twenties I was raped by a man I knew. After the rape I was felt confused with ICKINESS that goes on after the event. “Was it my fault?” “What does this make me?” “Why was I there?” “What could I have done to prevent it?” and the big one for me was “What would people say about me if they found out?” These questions tend to focus our sails into a HOLDING PATTERN or even a TURN BACK INTO THE STORM (again and again and again). The event happened ONCE for a short time but thanks to our ability of recalling the event again and again we are through into that ICKINESS again and again. Because it feels so uncomfortable we want to shut down our ICKY feelings. When we SHUT DOWN OUR FEELINGS we diminish our communication with the universe and we move AWAY from OUR JOY.

The universe is here to do what we ask it to do. Most of us have never sat down to notice how the world really works. The bottom line is that in any event we are either MOVING THROUGH or GETTING STUCK. What will you choose for your life’s moments today? First step is in NOTICING. Start there and see how that feels even when it’s ICKY. There is always a messy past the ICKY. You just have to face the ICKY and see what it has come to show you.

Much love and kindness to yourself today!



PS Yesterday we beat our record of the day before by almost double!!!!!!!!! Thank you for coming back and spreading the word! Yesterday we had 162 ButterflyMoms flutter by! YAY!!!!!!!!!!

PPS Please let it be known that I wrote this blog today with glorious screaming children all around me so it there are moments where I skip a thought I was actually skipping a thought in real life too! 😉

PPPS I just re-wrote the blog from this a.m. because it was so disconnected. It feels more in alignment with what I wanted to say now.


YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! We hit another record yesterday! 88 ButterflyMoms flew in yesterday for their daily hit of inspiration our highest ever!!! My goal is to be the fire that ignites people’s souls that is what I was put on this planet to do and it FEELS AMAZING to be able to serve in this manner!

THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO SHARE MY GIFT! May coming here also unleash your passions!

ButterflyMoms Founder
Mommy of Christopher, Mialotta, Olivia, Isabella and Angel Sophia 🙂


Mischief Comes in All Ages...My 90 year old Great Uncle and his Girlfriend!

There is a  wonderful scene in the movie Mr. Gregorian’s Wonder Emporium where a little boy walks by a glass wall where an accountant is working under piles of papers. I cannot remember it exactly but the interaction goes something like this…The little boy grabs a big notepad and writes, “DO YOU PLAY CHECKERS?” The accountant takes his notepad and writes, “I USED TO WHEN I WAS A KID.” The child writes, “DO YOU WANT TO PLAY?” The response, “CAN’T PLAY. HAVE TO WORK.” The child quickly responds, “HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU STOP WORKING?” The accountant responds, “I NEVER STOP WORKING.” The child responds, “OH.” Puts his head down and walks away.

This is SUCH an awesome message for adults wrapped up in a “kid’s” movie!!! It is BRILLIANT! Something happens to most of us where we think to be an “adult” and be “responsible” you have to be serious!!!! Know what I say to that?! BE SERIOUS!!! Are you joking?! You should be! 😉

In the photo above is my 90 year old great-uncle Antonio who was born in a small village in Portugal. My kids call him Bevou (short for great grandfather because fits that role in their lives). His life’s story is simply amazing! He never did anything worth writing about in the papers, he never attended one day of schooling, he never learned to drive or read yet he has such a deep, deep wisdom that is such a part of him that he does not even see it as being special. To see his gift one needs to step back and really be aware. Those is a RUSH or BUSY will miss the beautiful gifts that are our beloved Bevou. The way he lives his life is one of the reasons I stay as grounded as I am. I took him to the grocery once and noticed that he shopped the perimeter of the store getting mostly vegetables, then fruits, then fish, then meat and dairy. He only went into the middle of the store to get rice. A month later I was watching a TV program where they were taking about how this was the NEW way to stay healthy because all the processed foods are in the middle. Well, our Bevou has been doing that all his life!

In the photo he is sitting with his live-in girlfriend Fran. She does not speak Portuguese and he does not speak English but somehow they get along. Even at 90, Bevou is still full of laughter and very mischievous. It is that sense of fun through which Fran and Bevou communicate with each other. Everyone is dumbfounded how that works but it does. Now if they can do it NOT speaking the same “language” then where in your life can you build bonds to others who help unleash the LOVE that is all around you! 

FUN MISSION:  Here’s a fun little mischievous thing I do that makes me smile and giggle at the same time!

Every time I order a magazine subscription for myself or someone else  before the first name I put: “BEAUTIFUL” or to my husband who loves REAL SIMPLE magazine, I wrote “SEXY”. Put whatever word fits best and will get a smile! It is absolutely thrilling to get a magazine every month and be surprised every month when you the To the Beautiful Maria! It feels great and always makes me smile! Try it!

If you have your own tips let us know! Together we can all create a lot of “beautiful” mischief!!!

Great big hugs,


PS Find simple ways to add mischief to your today!


One of my biggest teachers in today's lesson!

Yesterday we went to Mass General in Boston for what we hoped would be my husband’s last appointment. He fell ill two years ago and after being hospitalized for a week, severe headaches, internal bleeding, surgery, going blind twice, joint pain, being on high level of steroids, losing weight (because he was sick) and then gaining weight (because of the steroids), getting chemo, getting chemo again, this was his last appointment!!! YAY!!!!!!!

We went with our two youngest girls to the hospital. Isabella, 2,  is still in diapers and after a weekend in NY where they sometimes forgot she was lactose intollerant, she now had raging diarhhea. To add to this adventurous story, because our minds were on something else (Doug’s appointment’s outcome), we also forgot the diaper bag! YAY!!!!!!! That is a BIG  I-N-C-O-M-I-N-G!!!! Doug had just changed her diaper before and that had been her third one that day so we thought we was safe…..maybe????!….PLEASE GOD, PLEASE! 😉

No such luck! As we were waiting for the doctor I noticed my lap was getting wet (I can hear your “uhhhhh’s” from here my beautiful ButterflyMoms because you know what is coming!)  So I excused myself and immediately shift into “CREATIVE SOLUTION MODE”! Now, because Doug is in with his doctor, I, of course, by default have both girls 4 and 2 to “ride” with me on this adventure! These are the moments when if you look hard enough you see that the universe has a very deep sense of humor! 🙂 So why not go with it!

First, to the bathroom where I clean both of us as much as possible. Luckily they had paper towels and not those blow dry machines. It would have been “challenging”, at best, o use those in this situation! I start eyeing extra new plastic bags hanging over the side of the trash can wondering if I can McGyver a diaper with that and paper towels but see almost immediately how that could horribly backfire.

Back in the hospital I ask some hospital staff where I can get diapers. “All I need is one, ” I say hoping they will let me know of a secret stash in the children’s wing, but instead they suggest the gift shop. “Ok,” I thought, I really like their gift shop. It is a very happy place for me. Although it’s small, they do a great job with it. I had used it many a time in the past two years to run away from Doug’s ICKY diagnosises to a land of pretty things. I never remember seeing diapers there but I was also not looking. I take my girls and head down the escalator.

At the gift shop I’m directed to go across and down the impossibly busy street to the nearest CVS. They would have diapers. The smell from the diaper is starting to waft again. I begin making a mental Mama calculation that attempting to cross might not be a safe idea with two very squirmy kids. As I head back into the gigantic lobby I instinctually begin looking for moms. I find one almost immediately with a cute little boy in a dark blue stroller. He looks like his diaper size would be too small but you work with what you have. I approach the mom feeling at first very uncomfortable like I’m asking her for her first born instead of just a diaper. When I realize how silly that is I relax.

She is a very kind looking woman probably in her early to mid 30’s (although I should not guess because if she ever reads this blog…trouble ;)) She pauses, asks if a 6 would fit and hands me her last diaper. Most of us could use practice in asking for what we want and even more importantly for Mamas is the receiving part. That is a whole other can of worms we will not open on this day but you know that it has to do with your feeling like you deserve to be here and that your needs are important.

I thanked this beautiful ButterflyMom profusely. I told her to check the blog because I was going to write about her. I hope she does because she is instrumental in the rest of us getting the message that we are connected. There is a vast and wonderful community made up of us, ButterflyMoms, that we are sometimes afraid to access. I felt happy and safe and connected to the world after our simple interaction. Look for these moments where you can both give and receive. Connect with other ButterflyMoms on that soul-full level. Share your experiences here. I can promise you it feels better than the even THE best slice of chocolate cake EVAHHHHHHHH!


"Practicing" the ART OF PLAYING!

Hello Beautiful ButterflyMoms!

Here is a gentle reminder that is here to help you get over the rough spots of mommyhood. Our blog reminds all of us how to stay in alignment with the beautiful Mama energy inside each of us. This is a vital ingredient to happiness.

Come get your daily dose for free…and share with others! It feels good!

Great big hugs,

[polldaddy poll=3284171]

WHO are YOU?

Let Your True Joy Come Out!!! BE YOU!

The simple gift of connection. There are times in our lives where we don’t know why we are NOT  happy. Everything SEEMS to be ok, especially from the outside, but the way we feel seems “OFF”. We try and try and try to “snap out of it”. We buy stuff. We do more. We join stuff. We organize. We change jobs. We move. We end a relationship. We lose weight. We drink more water. We de-clutter. We order books. No matter what we DO, NOTHING seems to work.

The answer is precisely in the last sentence…NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK. It is about DOING LESS so that you can see the BEING that is different for each one of us.

I don’t know why the answer is so hard for most of swallow. There is nothing to buy, gain or attain. The answer (drum roll please) is simply BEING PRESENT TO WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU. It’s about not caring what other people say (including what the fear-full voices inside of us). It’s about being more YOU! Being open. Being more aware. Being ok with feeling whatever it is that you are feeling. When we run away from the pain we are running away from the message. We all know that on this planet no one ever gets to a place where they are “SAFE” from pain. If you did your life would be EXTREMELY boring.  Life is never about arriving at your destination. The best life is one in which you understand the laws of the universe so that you can better make choices in your life. Choice is all we have my beautiful ButterflyMoms!

Allow me to give you an example of what I mean. GRAVITY. Ever hear of it? 😉 Does it ever take the day off? Is it ever only 40% effective on some days? Do the laws of gravity ever change?  Does it matter if you drop a ball on a Friday night or Wednesday morning? Does it matter if you drop it in Japan or in Portugal? Does it matter if a woman drops it or a man? Does it matter if someone is 2 or 108? Does it matter if you BELIEVE in GRAVITY or not?

Regardless of our belief systems we know that GRAVITY is a constant on our planet. It has been by learning the principles of the Law of Gravity that we have been able to live more comfortably on this planet. If we lived ignoring them we would have a very chaotic society with almost no reliable shelter, for example.

Funny how gravity is all around us and we don’t even notice it until we see a baby crawling to the edge of the stairs or towards an open window. We don’t immediately think “gravity” because we have learned that principle so well that it has become second nature to us. Well, the universe talks to us the same way and if we learn the principles we can incorporate them to make our journey MORE of what we really want it to be.

Baby steps will get us all there! It worked for walking for most of us so now we can all use it for this part of our journey, the magical journey of being a Mother on this planet. 🙂

Great big hugs,


🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

If ButterflyMoms has touched your heart please share it with at least four others today. Together we all make the world a better place! :)!!!!


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